I left my country to study abroad and during my studies I met this guy and we started dating, I was honest and told him I had a boy friend backhome though not serious.
This guy didn't tell me he had been planning to marry another girl back home, and this I discovered when I got wind of a mail he had sent to this girl. Well I was so inlove and couldn't break up at that stage. We've been going out for eight months now but I realised after questionning him about our relationship, that it will lead to no where since he was still keeping in touch with this girl and did not want to break up with her. I decided to end the relationship because I realised I was going to end up being hurt but he said he didnt want us to stop seeing each other and that he couldn't cope without me. Meantime he is planning to bring this girl over and yet he promised he wouldnt hurt me and that may be this girl won't want to marry him afterwards.What do I do,I still love him and He's the best man I've ever dated.
2006-11-03 00:26:28 · 10 answers · asked by alix a 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This sounds like a very tricky relationship. My suggestion would be to think about what it would feel like from the other girls perspective. If he does this to her, don't you think he might do it to you in the future if you two do end up staying together? I know that you think this is the best relationship that you've ever had, and if it's meant to be, it will happen. However, saying that, you happen to be the third wheel in this relationship. The first girlfriend is still in his picture and he was planning on marrying her. He's leaving the marriage decision up to his girlfriend when she comes to be with him. He may be a great guy, but he sounds very confused. Maybe you should give this relationship a break and see what happens between the two of them. If in fact they break up, then you can do what you want. But, until that point, you are with another woman's man. Consider how she will feel when she finds out. good luck!
2006-11-03 00:32:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you might want to set your sights a little higher if THIS is the best man you've ever dated. You already admitted that he was "on-the side" when you started up with him, so why should it be any different from his perspective?
It also appears that neither of you really know what you want in a partner. You each have another relationship, & yet you both want each other too.
To believe him it sounds like he wants to keep you while he continues the relationship with his fiance.
To leave him means that you are free to keep exploring relationships until you can find a better match for yourself.
2006-11-03 08:38:03 · answer #2 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Woo.. this guy is complicated. He need to make up his mind. Maybe he think poligamy will work with both of you.
Well, is he marrying the girl because of his family wishes? Maybe it wasn't his plan to marry the girl, if was their parents. In India, the parents of the boy and girl, plan the marriage of their kids, before the kids even understand the word 'love'. Maybe this happened to him?
Talk to him, understand the situation.
If things don't work out, just be friends. Its better to be friends than enemy. It's more difficult to hate someone you love.
All the best of luck!
2006-11-03 08:33:10 · answer #3 · answered by aqilahzaiyanie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me get this right. You are dating a guy from when you are away from your current one, and the guy you are dating then is also dating someone else, about to marry? Why'd you do it in the first place, if I found out, I would probably get really p/oed.
2006-11-03 08:32:43 · answer #4 · answered by Zach S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...you're in love with the fantasy he created, not with the reality that he is engaged to someone else.
If he leaves her, how will you trust him to be with you?
The only way you MIGHT be able to accept his situation is if he was saying that he was going to bring her here to break the news of the engagement off in person. He is not promising that, however.
It is hard to face the reality of someone really not being what you thought...been there. You need to let him go.
2006-11-03 08:35:20 · answer #5 · answered by Barbara 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him. He wasn't honest with you from the get go, why stick around. How can he be the best man you've ever dated? He is trying to have his cake and eat it too. You deserve way better.
2006-11-03 08:32:42 · answer #6 · answered by raintigar 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So-let me get this straight-he wants you to 'stand by' while he is still with this other girl? You are on the back up girl hon! Get out before you get hurt anymore cause he is playing you.
2006-11-03 08:29:17 · answer #7 · answered by blonde_bitch_norris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He wants to have his cake and eat it at the same time. Never happens. Run before you get deeply hurt!
2006-11-03 08:36:12 · answer #8 · answered by pretty1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OH my he sounds like a real winner (not) dump him and move on with your life
2006-11-03 08:29:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him, has he given you any reason to believe him? No, its time to move on.
2006-11-03 08:30:34 · answer #10 · answered by FF Geek 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋