he starts whining that i'm bothering him.He treats me bad, my ex.(biological father)is an *** he's only available sundays,not even a phone call on week days.My son tells me he's depressed and sad sometimes.He even tells me that he thinks God is not real,(sniff).
My ex.won't call because he thinks i'll pick up the phone, I told his mom to tell him , i was not picking up the phone,so he can call everyday his 2 boys.But he never does,only sunday morning to pick them up.Besides counseling,what can i do with my son,sort of like a therapy, or hobby,to cheer him up ?He's only happy,when we go shopping for him (not fair).My son was angry at me,even when my ex was living here, my ex would get mad at my son for a reason and my son would take it on me.I want to talk to my husband about our son,but he won't listen to me or tell my son directly exactly what i say.Knowing my son,he'll be embarrassed
and deny everything to his dad.So what should i do ? HELP ! I want to save my son.
2006-11-03 00:10:01 · 9 answers · asked by rssy r 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
honey its great you want to help your son...but having him do hobbies and such is not gonna help in the long run...I know u said besides councelling, but your gonna have to get to the root of the problem..find out why ur son is angry with you..then BOTH of you can deal with it
2006-11-03 00:15:27 · answer #1 · answered by chantillynlace2000 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a lot of anger after my parents divorced. I think the only thing that saved me from my anger was the fact that I grew up and started having responsibilities of my own.
There are a lot of issues that could cause the kind of anger that your son has. Was your ex verbally or mentally abusive? If so, do you think your son has picked up on that and uses anger instead of words?
Like the others said, I know you said "No counseling", but really, having a professional deal with this is probably the best thing to do.
2006-11-03 08:21:11 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If it is any comfort, my boys who live in a stable house have similar issues as part of it is their age and hormones.
There is no substitute to a son for a father...but there is no substitute for mom either.... spend as much time with him as possible w/o making it about materialistic things. I have one son that acts all put out when I suggest doing things with him, but after some time in the activity he breaks and we have some quality time together.
My sons have to cook and clean with me (because i make them)...and after a few minutes they open up and start talking...
if they get in their moods; i send them to their room for a little bit of isolation (w/o tv, gameboys, and internet) to think about things...how much I love them and how their attitude affects everyone around them...and how much they really have and should be grateful.
If you fill their lives with too much, they never confront their issues and learn to run away from their problems rather than talk through them.
Time, communication, love and prayer are the best things. Hang in there. If his anger is affecting school work or is physical, you need to seek counseling, but moms are the best counselors around if possible.
2006-11-03 09:54:11 · answer #3 · answered by daisy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need family counseling for the kids sake. He won't call the house because he is afraid you will answer?Grow up, buddy.And you can't spend all your money on things for him. Be mom and dad to him.My son gave me a happy fathers day- mom card one time. It was really special cause his dad was a jerk. That is a tough age too. In a few years he will know the whole story but until then, seek counseling.Good luck.
2006-11-03 08:17:48 · answer #4 · answered by Pesty Wadoo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get him into therapy ASAP. His father is useless and I wouldnt even go to him with the issues because he doesnt care enough. Get your son a male therapist and the issues that your son is keeping in may come out and be addressed. Do not chase his father down to help with your children. If you have to chase a parent down to do parental duties...they are worthless (TRUST me I know) G'luck!
2006-11-03 08:15:26 · answer #5 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him thta he better be thankful for the things he already has because there are kids out there less fortunate then him and that one day he's gonna grow up and probebly wont be able to affor the things he wants and that no girl would marry him if he acts so selfish. also if you keep being soft on him then he's gonna take advantage over you and use you. also if your ex is'nt paying child support for your son (meaning he's not giving you money for your kid)then you should take him to court.
2006-11-03 08:17:01 · answer #6 · answered by lbg l 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Besides counseling, I have no clue. I have a 9 year old that has anger problems and he is on Zoloft which helped alot. Has the counselor recommended any medications?
2006-11-03 08:16:39 · answer #7 · answered by blonde_bitch_norris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what you need to do is sit down with him and have along tlak and see why he is mad at you. maybe there is something going on in school or maybe he feels that you do not pay enough atteniton to him so he feels that he has to act out to get your attention so spend more time with him and have a real long talk with him
2006-11-03 09:55:28 · answer #8 · answered by nikki 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dear dont you think.....we should not live for ourselfs...but we should live for other.... he is your son ..... i did not actually understood the term " biological father ".... but i think that their must a thing that distrubs your child behaviour.....let him to live the way he can........ if you think that ,its something in you .. against your child psychology....remove that , and if in your husband.....remove that ......
plz dont mind but its the fact..
wish you all best
2006-11-03 09:27:42 · answer #9 · answered by greatmangentletrue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋