Please help me solve my family's Xmas nightmare. I'm the youngest of 3 girls, and we're all married, and my eldest two sisters both have kids and they all live near my parents. We usually all go to sister 2 house for Xmas. Problem: sister 1 no longer wants to spend Xmas day at sister 2 house, as sister 2 husband is an unreasonable pig. Parents always go to sister 2 house as their house is too small. Sister 1 has suggested that as the sisters don't get on, maybe the parents should alternate venues and spend one Xmas with sister 1, then the following year with sister 2, etc. Parents would still see grandchildren at some point on Xmas day as all live locally, but would just not stop for Xmas lunch. Sister 2 has gone balistic. She claims sister 1 has "stolen" her kids' grandparents from her. Everyone fallen out. No one speaking. Parents now having Xmas on own rather than have to choose. I'm trying to keep out of it. Solutions anyone????
2006-11-03 00:09:37 · 29 answers · asked by youngest sister 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
cancel christmas
2006-11-03 00:11:27 · answer #1 · answered by The brainteaser 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Oh for god sake.. The sisters should really grow up.. Plan a christmas at sister 1 place on Christmas eve and on sister 2 place on Christmas day.. Then they can go to the spouses parents on the alternate days.. every one else in the world can figure this out.. don't know why you kids can't.. They are ruining the parents holidays because of the fighting..
To be with both of your sisters since i am assuming that you live farther away you will have to take a two days to see both familys.
And schedule your christmas with your husbands family accordingly..Familys can be very difficult sometimes.. but do what you can to be with all of them especially your parents.. you never know how long that they will be around..
One day around the unreasonable pig husband of sister 2 should be able to be overlooked for one day anyhow.. every one should get over there petty fighting for one day of the year..
Best of holidays for you guys what ever you figure out but don't leave your parents alone..
Merry Christmas and Happy New Years..
2006-11-03 00:28:39 · answer #2 · answered by Sandy F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That sounds bad...I'm sorry. Why doesnt everyone just do what they normally do, and just get together for Christmas lunch and leave when they want. If not, maybe everyone should go visit your parents on their own schedules. I know that probably sucks but you cant make anyone do anything. And it seems that your sisters are pretty upset. But really you cant change your sister's pig-headed husband. So if you go there at first you could leave whenever you wanted to. Its better than having him at sisters #1 house until HE wanted to leave. That way you all see each other and your parents dont feel bad for chosing.
All in all.....talk to sister #1 and tell her that it is smarter to have it at sister #2 so sis1 can leave and get away from sis2 husband whenever she wants to! That situation is hard, but your sisters are going to have to get over it and spend some time with their parents and make it easier on everyone else....who does get along. OR just go to your parents house to see them! Holidays are hard sometimes, just make the best of it. You may have to be the mediator!
Good luck. I hope that helps a little.
2006-11-03 00:20:09 · answer #3 · answered by mslatin 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes,
why dont you all go to your parents house for christmas, not only is it a neutral playing field, it is also an area sisters will avoid arguing at through respect for the parents and definately an area a pig headed husband would not step out of line, offer to cook the dinner there, on top of this as a family you need to tackle the source of the problem without finger pointing, sometimes it's better to just swallow your pride and say sorry, even if it isn't your fault, in fact that would make you the better person.
You also need to remember that being adults the magic of christmas is less real to you now and is more important that you keep the magic of christmas alive for the children, after all they are the ones who look forward to it all year long and what they see around them from there parents at this time of year will reflect how they act in later life with there families at christmas.
Christmas is a time for sharing and love, you should be thankfull that it is only a pig headed husband that is the problem, some families have really bad issues that keep them apart, i will spend christmas alone this year and would swap anything to be six or seven years old again huddled around a christmas tree, or sat around the table with all the family at christmas.
Christmas is a scource of make believe and magic for children and is without doubt the most special time of the year for them, they shouldn't have to suffer.
I hope this helps and i hope ou have a very merry christmas.
2006-11-03 00:22:53 · answer #4 · answered by andylegendoneill 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yikes, what a soap opera...lol...sorry that you are having to go thru this. I think that what you are doing is exactly right--don't take sides or try to fix the situation, b/c you will only get buried deeper into the whole mess, like your sisters and parents have done. I'm no expert but I do also have family conflicts, as does everyone at some point...and IMHO I think that maybe you should just be kind and loving toward your parents, as well as your sisters...tell them that you are not taking sides, so that they will not try to "get you on their team"...be the bigger person and refuse to become a pawn in their game to see who will come out on top. You can offer to have Christmas at your house, maybe...if your sisters are so bent out of shape at the whole situation, maybe this would be a viable option. They may be willing to travel farther in order to preserve the grandparents/grandchildren relationships. Other than that, as I said, just continue to show love to your sisters as well as your parents. Be a good listener if they should choose to share their grievances with you. Also, it's not such a bad thing that the grandparents have their own Christmas sometimes. I know many families, including my own, in which everyone takes turns on who will be spending time with the grandparents, or else the grandparents may come to their children's houses at other times, such as Thanksgiving, or even a winter break in January or February. Just because everyone doesn't see each other on Christmas Day doesn't mean you guys don't love each other. It's important that each nuclear family celebrate holidays with each other, as well. Like in our family--my husband and I look forward to spending a few days around Christmas with some close friends of ours (all of our family lives far away), but we also are excited about sharing our daughter's first Christmas with just the three of us. (She'll be six months old then.) Anyway, try not to worry so much. This looks to be their problem, not yours. As long as you don't take sides and get caught up in the fray, they can't claim that you are to blame for any of these things. Remain kind and loving...and hopefully your family will come around and make up soon! Hope this helped.
2006-11-03 00:22:35 · answer #5 · answered by peachy78 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like my family. There is five of us my sisters live within 2 miles of my parents, I live 40 minutes away as does one brother and my other brother lives 3 hours away. With us it is more the in-laws not getting along, my one sister-in-law feels since they live so far away no one cares about their kids, my brother-in-law is a looser and feels everyone judges him for living off his wife. For two years we tried to do the traditional family Christmas and my mother would leave everytime near tears at seeing how we all sniped and avoided each other. This is the solution that worked out best for us. At Thanksgiving my mother draws a name from a hat and that kid is the one that is hosting the actual Christmas dinner and she sends out an note to the other four as to where it will be. Some of us have big houses with a lot of room two have small places but we make it work. Mom fixes a small meal on Christams Eve at her house and anyone that refuses to go to the dinner on Christmas can come to her house then and they celebrate that night. It works for us and keeps Mom out of the middle as we all take turns being the bad guy.
2006-11-03 00:39:17 · answer #6 · answered by Martha S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Invite your parents to come to your place for Xmas, and leave the bickering sisters at home.
I also liked the suggestion about your parents alternating Xmas Eve and Xmas Day with each of your 2 sisters. My ex-wife and I did that with our respective parents for a while, for similar reasons.
2006-11-03 00:15:06 · answer #7 · answered by Heath 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either go to a restaurant or skip Xmas with the family altogether and catch a last minute deal and head for the sun. Spend Xmas abroad and come back in the new year and hope they have all sorted it out between em. No point in you being miserable for Xmas....Santa wouldn't want that!
2006-11-03 00:14:07 · answer #8 · answered by Liggy Lee 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not have the parents spend time at each sister's house every Xmas. This way everyone is visited, all grandchildren spend time with the grandparents and no one is left uncomfy.
2006-11-03 00:12:25 · answer #9 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why not spend Christmas Eve at one sisters house and Christmas Day at the other sisters house. That way everybody gets the Grandparents for a day. We do that...we spend Christmas Eve with my wifes family and Christmas Day with my family. It works out well. It's not worth ruining Christmas over.
2006-11-03 00:18:21 · answer #10 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how about sister 1 on Xmas eve sister 2 on Xmas day and sister 3 on boxing day then next year swap etc
2006-11-03 00:13:05 · answer #11 · answered by D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋