ODE TAE A FART
Oh what a sleekit horrible beastie
Lurks in yer belly efter the feastie
Just as ye sit doon among yer kin
There starts to stir an enormous wind
The neeps an tatties and mushy peas
Start working like a gentle breeze
But soon the pudding wi the sauncie face
Will have ye blawin all ower the place
Nae matter whit the hell ye dae
A’body’s gonna hae tae pay
Even if ye try tae stifle
It’s like a bullet oot a rifle.
Hawed yer bum tight tae the chair
Tae try an stop the leakin air
Shift yersel fae cheek tae cheek
Pray tae God it disnae leak
But awe yer efforts go asunder
Oot it comes like a clap o thunder
Ricochets aroon the room
Michty me! A sonic boom!
God almighty it fairly reeks
Hope ah huvne **** ma breeks
Tae the bog ah better scurry
Aw, whit the hell, it’s no ma worry
A’body roon aboot me choking
Wan or twa are nearly bokin
I’ll feel better for a while
Cannae help but raise a smile
Wis him! I shout with accusing glower
Alas! Too late he’just keeled ower
Ye dirty bugger they shout and stare
Ah feel welcome nae mair
Were e’re ye go, let yer wind gang free
Sounds like just the job for me
Whit a fuss at Rabbie’s party
Ower the sake o wan wee farty!
R.S. Burns
Its Fast
2006-11-02 23:20:43 · 11 answers · asked by zorroorojo 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Brilliant!! I have just passed it on (the poem that is, not the fart) to a wee Scots lassie that I work with
2006-11-03 01:16:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank You, The Trawl Through The Dross Was Worth My While, Across My Face Done Cracked A Smile. Reworking A Classic Even If Copied Wud Fe Wud. Nice One And Lang May Yur Lum Reek.
2006-11-03 07:40:22 · answer #2 · answered by Paul R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too lengthy One !!! But then good one at the end --------I liked the preparation and presentation !!! Good Dish ...I mean Joke !! Ha Ha Ha............
2006-11-03 08:13:48 · answer #3 · answered by Tickler 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ha ha
2006-11-03 07:36:46 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A fox smells his own hole first.
2006-11-03 07:28:10 · answer #5 · answered by abbeyroad54321 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
brilliant
2006-11-03 09:27:54 · answer #6 · answered by barn owl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
best one i have read tonite you should have kept it for burns nicht
2006-11-03 14:46:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
did fairly enjoy it.
2006-11-03 09:19:02 · answer #8 · answered by nosy old lady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahahahhahahaha
2006-11-03 08:28:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahaha...brilliant...
2006-11-03 07:43:26 · answer #10 · answered by Fudgie 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋