last week I asked about my daughter's crush on Hilary Duff and things have only gotten worse.......?

Question

original question here: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=As83oZV4iTKr.G77mrAgUb7sy6IX?qid=20061027005132AAt5rju

well i sat down and tried talking to her and she ended up telling me she wants to "marry hilary"

she sees nothing odd or unusual about this idea - i really am at wits end here. i'm afraid to even ask her anything else. what if she's kissing girls already??

Answer 1

Good God, what is the matter with you?

This is perfectly normal, and you are making a mountain out of a molehill. Stop pressuring the poor girl, and leave her alone.

Answer 2

REALITY CHECK

I just ran across this on the Internet and though I should replace my original answer. This is what eight year olds answered to the question of, "What is love?"

Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving lotion and they go out and smell each other.

Laughing and smiling is love. Yelling and shouting is not.

You have to fall in love before you get married. Then you can just sit around and read books together.

Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.

Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more.

Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it every day.

During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore.

Answer 3

I know it's hard, but you really have to leave her alone on this one. She is not having sexual feelings for this person and really does not understand the concept of marriage. It does not mean that she's gay, or anything like that. While I never had a crush on a girl, I was crazy over my idols when I was her age. I would daydream for hours, making up little stories in my head of meeting them and them falling in love with me. As long as your daughter is still functioning normal, in other words able to go about her normal daily activities, then don't interfere. If you start asking her about kissing girls, or telling her she can't have a crush on her idol, you'll instill a sense of shame in her, and possibly make it so that she feels she can't come to you with her feelings and problems. And just remember, she's going to be a teenager soon, some of the things you'll be going through then will make this Hilary Duff thing seem small in comparison! Good Luck.

Answer 4

As you are finding out, there is a huge tendancy to accept "Bi-sexual" affilliations as normal. People are not straight or gay. You're supposed to be open to this blending, regardless of sexual orientation. I find it really confuses the kids.

Since Hillary Duff is her idol, buy your daughter a teen magazine with an article on Hillary Duff. See if they state who she is dating. Bet it's a boy.

Casually comment on an article featuring a male/female celebrity couple. If you feel she is open to reading the magazine, and you're making friendly conversation about the celebrity couples, buy another magazine. Do the same thing. Reinforce subtly that these celebrity couples are male/female.

She's going to have enough on her plate when she starts to worry about the boys liking her. Help her to be in a place where the same does not apply to her girlfriends. Encourage relationships with other girls that are platonic. Respond to information she shares. Do not react. Respond.

You have to be able to teach her better than her best friend can. You have to be able to give her trustworthy honest information about the world that she is encountering. This is so hard because the media and information technology is robbing our kids of their innocence and sense of security. You are the voice she trusts most in this world. Teachers are patient, and calm and firm in their resolve. Be her Teacher.

Answer 5

i imagine Lynn (the guy with the flower and username Lynn) has a level. the way you ask the question (the tone of your question) might want to be rubbing some human beings the incorrect way and subsequently they reply in a way that you don't love. @ASL: i imagine Teddy decrease than me substances some functional suggestion. @Zebra: in basic terms because human beings disagree with you does not recommend that they don't love the actuality. also you won't be able to recommend that because someone does unlike a particular question or answer that they might want to be ungodly. I understand that folk disagree with me or they hate me for some reason, yet i do not attempt to act as if they hate because of what it says in 2 Timothy 3:a million-5 or different prophetic scriptures. you may want to be straightforward without being obnoxious in shown actuality it really is named being tactful. there's a good article on a thanks to be tactful contained in the BE e book pages 197-201 (study 33 - Tactful yet agency). One piece of advice: once you position words in citation marks it really is used to point something as being faux. So once you're saying that you communicate "actuality", with the citation marks around the be conscious actuality is equivalent to saying that you communicate lies. you are able to wish to get rid of the citation marks out of your reaction.

Answer 6

kids do not understand the concept quite of marriage. have you ever heard the stories of the little boys saying they want to marry thier mothers, and little girls wanting to marry their fathers? well, this sounds very similar, just your daughter does this with her idol. when you are young and you like someone very much (be it your idol, your friend, you parent, your brother, ect) you hear about marriage and what you think its all about and you want to marry them. most kids see marriage as someone liking someone ( and that liking could be liking as a friend) so they get married. i would not worry about it.
and honestly would it be so bad if she turned out to be bi or a lesbian? she's still alive and healthy, isnt she? would you rather she be dead?
you should just let her work it out in her head. when i was younger, i would never learn anything when someone tried to make me see it a certain way, i had to figure it out on my own. and if you push her, and she gets older and realizes what marriage really is, she'll remember you trying to push her to this, and maybe feel incredibly bad because she made you so upset over this. or worse, if she is bi or lesbian, she'll remember you pushing her and think you don't love her.

Answer 7

Honey I think you are really over reacting. She's just a little kids. Kids say things that they really don't mean/understand. She just likes hilary alot and her view ofmarriage is probably that: you 'marry' the person you like a lot. She likes hilary alot, so she wants to marry her. She's not sexually lusting over hilary or something. Don't worry it's just a phase.

Answer 8

I don't think there is too much to worry about. Alot of girls outside of polygamy want to mary their dads someday, they don't. Its just a phase and she probably does not understand marriage. Let her be a child. If she was 13 or 14 it may be different, 19 is still an innocent age. She will grow out of it.

Answer 9

You are doing a fine job of teaching a little girl that thinking of sex is dirty. She probably never thought of it until you became obsessive. You have also taught her that she can't leave things around where you may find them in one of your crazed searches. And she had definitely learned not to share her feelings with you. Back off Mom, before you do damage you can't undo. Let her be a little girl.

Answer 10

I don't see anything odd either. It might be a phase you know..lot's a girls have gotten crushes on other girls and it does not mean anything. It could also be that she is gay..and nothing is wrong with that either.

Answer 11

i would be worried about a 10 year old kissing ANYONE.

would you think of her as odd or unusual if she became a lesbian? (i say became because at this age i have a hard time thinking of them as sexual beings)?