Change and girlfriend?

Question

Is it wrong to ask your girlfriend to change her habits .. like asking her to quit smoking,drinking be a little polite and feminine...

she says u are trying to change me.. my argument is.. i am helping her, i want her to get rid of bad habits..

i am thinking of marrying her and i come from an indian family, so there are little bit restrictions. Now smoking, drinking are bad habits.. so they better be changed.

i am asking her to be a little feminine.. because she uses slang, cheap words at time.. rest is fine with her.. so.. i am asking her to be a better person..

Answer 1

you can't really change a person unless they want to change. I can understand that you just want to help her, but she probably just can't see it that way. Try to be patient with her, and make subtle encouragements or promptings to help her a long, but don't push too hard. good Luck!!! :)

Answer 2

When we start a relationship we should know that we need to do some changes ... what means a couple ? things in commun , commun ideas , habits and values ! She should know all these .

I think you care a lot about her just because you want her to be a better person ....

I don't know about smoking....I don't think you should change that .... if you don't like it , ask her to not smoke when she is next to you

About the other three things that you have mentioned :Remind her that she is a woman if she is smart she will understand you !!

Answer 3

I think it is wrong to ask your girlfriend to change. They may be habits yes but it makes her the person she is - she is unique. My point is though didn't she have all these habits when you started dating her. They were not an issue then so why should they be now. If you really love her as a girlfriend you should accept her for who she is or you may ultimatly push her away through trying to change her. Anotherwards if she is happy being the way she is with all her habits she will resent you for trying to change her. I know I personally would. If my boyfriend tried changing me I would push him away because to me it demonstrates he isn't happy with the person i am and all the habits I have.

Answer 4

You are doing a good thing .. just the way you are doing is wrong ... so if you tell someone that your this habit is bad they will easily be offended .. do a slow poison work .. to make them realise the negative points of smoking and drinking .. but not in a day take weeks or months to make it work

Regards
Sameer
http://sameer-shaikh.blogspot.com

Answer 5

if smoking bothers you, tell her to quit smoking next to you

drinking? well if she does it too much, tell her to do it a little less because it's bad for her health(same with smoking) see now these are good backups.

but DUDE...when you tell her to "be a little polite and feminine"..THAT'S WANTING TO CHANGE HER PERSONALITY...if she is your girlfriend, you're supposed to love her for who she is on the inside...

NOT WHAT YOU WANT HER TO BE..there is a differance.

lower your standerds and get real. this is who she is and if you don't like it, break up with her.

Answer 6

Try to understand her arguments, at the same time convince her those which you don't like still she is not in a mood to correct her wrong doings it is better to move leaving her.

Answer 7

i know that when someone suggests to me that i need to stop smoking it makes me want to smoke two just to spite them and let them know that they aren't going to tell me what to do! it is a good idea for her to quit and I'm sure she already knows you'd have to be stupid not to know that it is bad for you but she isn't going to stop if she doesn't want to. and as far as her needing to be more femminen you should count yourself lucky you don't have to deal with a bunch of girly crap.
and furthermore if you want to change so much about her...why are you with her in the first place?

Answer 8

Good luck with that since its very difficult to teach an old dog new tricks.Not saying she a dog hey.