Any tips on solving a family crisis/moral dilemma?

Question

My problem is concering my recently-turned-eighteen year old brother, "Harry" (I'm older). Apparently our stepmother, "Dolores", hasn't been treating him very nicely and Harry is avoiding Dolores like the plague. Dad thinks its HIM that Harry is avoiding, even though Harry has told him otherwise. In fact, Harry would love to spend more time with Dad, just not Dolores. It broke my heart when I heard Harry tell our father that he wasn't going to a concert this weekend despite the trouble Dad went through to get tickets for Harry and his girlfriend (in fact, he'd planned to go to this concert with Harry in mind). Feeling that I wouldn't really enjoy the concert, I asked my real mother if I should still go, but she told me that I should still go because Dad really needs my company now. I don't want to be a a "fair-weather daughter". I do want Harry and Dad to spend more time together. The last thing I want to do is stir up more drama.

Answer 1

your brother should speak to his stepmother directly.
if there is something she is doing or treating him in a way that
bothers him, he should simply tell her. Avoidance will get you nowhere, it will only escalate and grow into larger and more convoluted issues. He is old enough(at age 18) to start handling his personal affairs like an adult. In all probability she may not be aware of her unkind treatment of him, or it is stemming form other frustrations that are 'linked' together. It may be difficult to initiate a cumbersome and delicate conversation, however,..it is far more difficult to attempt to heal a relationship that has grown and grown without a 'nip it in the bud' lets get real about what is going on and how we feel right now approach!
he will feel much better, she will, you will, and your father as well.
what is going on between two people (especially in intimate family ) in fact affects ever so many members than the 2 of them.
i would advise your brother to take a 'stand-up' approach with her and settle there feelings and/or indifference's fist hand .Right away!.. the first step may seem awkward, yet the end result should prove pleasantly soothing.
~e~

Answer 2

The three of you i.e. Dad, Harry and you need to take some time off to talk to each other and be frank about the whole conversation. Leave your real mother out of it as whatever she does or says is likely to be misunderstood especially by Dolores.
Nothing like a good heart to heart talk.

Answer 3

How long has Delores been around? What is the problem that she has with your brother and how does she treat you? Maybe you should find out what the problem is and talk to your dad about how your brother is feeling. Take Dolores out to lunch and find out what her problem is. It is possible that this is all just a misunderstanding and that a middle man is needed to solve the problem in your family.

Answer 4

sounds like you and your brother have a close relationship with your father and at a guess id say your father knows nothing of whatever it is that happened between your brother and your fathers girlfriend.

id tell your brother to talk to your father and tell him whats been going on that way your father will no that your brother isnt staying away because of him but because of his girlfriend. thenyour father can hopefully fix whatever it is his girlfriend has done or tell her to leace your brothe alone.

Answer 5

u need to tell your father to talk to your real mother about this problem and try to trouble-shoot it together and he needs to talk to his new wife on why she hasnt been treating your brother very nicely...
you all need to have a family gathering and discuss these kinds of problems together...
good luck

Answer 6

The three of you (without your stepmum) need to have a heart-to-heart talk.