Is it attention seeking, or not?

Question

People tend to think that people who cut themselves just do it for attention, but a lot of people do it not for attention at all and hide it, and it's two completely different things, but you only see the first kind cause the second one's invisible, but the point is that for a lot of people it's not an attention thing. But anyhow, I cut myself, and sometimes when I do it it's cause I'm mad at myself or upset about something and I just don't want to feel it anymore, but sometimes when I do it I want nothing more than for someone to see the cuts and do something about it, help me somehow. But even if that's what I was thinking when I did it, then afterwords I don't want anyone to see, and I wear long sleeves even in summer to hide it. But since when I do it I sometimes do want people to notice, then is it just attention seeking?

Answer 1

Yes It is attention seeking. But seeking attention from someone who can help you. You need some good support and remove all temptations. It's unhealthy to self harm.

Answer 2

There is an underlining problem here. You shouldn't feel like cutting yourself because you are mad at your self at all. May be on some level, you know this and want people to see it because you want to possibly find out what the real problem is. If the right person sees it, then they might have an answer for you, so you want them to see it. Other times, you might want them to see it so that they know that you fell crappy about what you did enough to hurt yourself over. But the time that you don't want someone to see it, is something that is done to distract from what you are feeling at that moment. It brings your attention to what you are doing and how that feels and that is something you understand where as, you might not like what it was you were feeling because you do not understand it, it doesn't make sense to you, or it hurts too much and you want to feel something else. The whole ritual of cutting yourself has something to offer to this approach, the site of the blood, the pain of the cut, the courage to do it, all are instantly pulling you away from where you were seconds before. What are you so afraid of, or why are you in so much pain?

Answer 3

When a guy wears women's underwear, does he do it because it's comfortable, or because he wants attention? and if he does it for attention, then why not wear the whole skirt to?

I used to burn myself, on warts, and moles to get rid of them, and such. then I'd put a band-aid over my charred, yellow, stinky flesh, and go out smelling like smoke, afraid that anyone would see it because then they'd think I was some kind of freak, but at the same time wondering how they didn't ask about the smell, and even getting upset that nobody noticed.

People do a lot of screwed up things in secret, and try to hide it, and sort of hope that someone will see it, just so they won't have to do it anymore, or they get a sort of thrill that people might see it, even though they know it would totally ruin their lives... but most people do this sort of thing as a mixture of both, which is so complicated that there's no way to explain it.

For you, getting some attention would probably be a really good thing. Getting that attention for having gashes all over yourself is probably not the best kind of attention though. Really, court apointed psychologists can be terribly boring people.

Have you tried to kill yourself by saying hi to someone and then dying of embarrasment yet?Tell you what, tomorrow in class at some random point, turn around, and stick out your hand to give the person behind you a firm handshake. Then say "Glad you could make it" as fast as humanely possible. It's really funny when they say "What about a jamaican?" but shake your hand anyway.

Answer 4

It is not attention seeking. It is a way that you have found to stop feeling painful feelings, at least for a short time. I agree with the person who said that the reason that sometimes you want people to see the cuts is because you want help for this but are afraid or don't know how to ask for help.

I used to work as a R.N. on a psychiatric unit for many years and have worked with many patients who cut themselves. I urge you to seek professional help for this. It's also possible that medication may help you while you are learning effective ways to deal with painful feelings.

A psychiatrist would be the type of doctor who would be best at knowing if this was the case and what the best medication for this would be.

My heart goes out to you and feel sad that you have to deal with this problem. I am encouraged by knowing that other people have had this problem and recovered from it with help.

Answer 5

No, this is not attention seeking really. You need help and support. I don't know how old you are but you need to see a doctor who can put you in touch with the right services to help you. Can you arrange that?

You obviously have deep issues that need exploring. You want others to know how unhappy you are yet you can't quite talk about it in any depth. You may be feeling very angry and frustrated that no one seems to notice how you're feeling and this can cause irritability becoming angry with people over small things or withdrawal from people.

The sooner you get some help the better. It might be an idea to take someone you trust with you to the GP who can help you explain.

Best wishes

Answer 6

It is not just attention-seeking behavior, or at least not in the way that you mean. Many times people cut because they feel emotions that they can't handle--they hurt themselves on the outside to stop hurting inside for a while. It can become addictive, as you aren't learning any healthier ways to cope. The reason that you are hoping for someone to see it is because you are hurting and part of you realizes that you need help to stop this vicious cycle.

Let me tell you something. Not long ago I was feeling incredibly depressed, to the point of being suicidal. I wasn't threatening to do it, I wasn't telling people I might because I wanted attention or sympathy. I was hurting and looking for a way to stop hurting. Eventually, I told my boyfriend about how I was feeling and we are getting help for me. I feel much better now. I didn't *want* him to know because I was embarrassed; I wasn't trying to get attention, that was actually the last thing I wanted. But some part of me knew that I needed help.

I think that you are at a really important place in recovery from this problem. You are starting to realize that you need help--you want people to know how bad you hurt, and can't tell them. So part of you wishes they could SEE those cuts, SEE your pain. Then they'd have to help you get better. I say that you should take the initiative to start healing yourself. Tell someone how you feel, and that you have been hurting yourself. Then you will realize that there are people willing to go through the hard and scary stuff with you, and you will be on your way to never have to cut yourself again.

(Sorry this is so long, but it is something that is very important to me.)

Answer 7

that was an AWSOME explenation. I used to cut myself and felt the same things you did. i think it is considered attention seeking when one does want others to notice. thing is, it goes deeper than that. noticing is not it, you want someone to help you w/your pain and give you the support you are not receiving elsewhere. i think some people do do it for shock value but that is not what you are describing. you are in pain and need to let it out and sometimes you wish someone would help you.

i'm 25 and cut myself from 14-17 consistantly. it got better when i moved away to college and i have relapsed about 5 times since then. it is a coping stratagy, not a helpful one at that. I have so many scars all over and i am embarassed sometimes. They also remind me of my painful past. from one who was where you are now, it's not worth it. but i know, much easier said than done.

Answer 8

Hey:
I was the same boat as you! Well,my hand cutting started when I had my first boyfriend and when all those new emotions were too much for me to handle!
So at first I used to go under the bed or in a dark place and refuse to come out...when I was angry I was soo mad at myself and wanted to end my innner pain-I wanted attention and help!
First I cut myself with broken glasses and when I saw the blood I felt good-I felt like the person causing me pain was dealt with-it was my revenge!
Most of our self-injury has to do with easing pain and getting back at our anger,most of it has to do with revenge and wanting that person/persons to feel sorry for us and love us!
Believe me,I tried to kill myself but didnot have the courage and I stopped thinking about that for one year until I reached the same suitation again,but by then I have resloved that this is my life and my body and its my temple!
You need to take sometime off and look deep into yourself and realise that its you that is hurting not that person,they are happy and well and will always be!
I took out all my anger through poetry and it has helped me soo far!
I do hope you reflect on your pain and anger and love yourself because noone will if we donot love ourselves first!
Change your life style and do what you want and do yoga it really helps!
Wish you luck!
Love Sanam

Answer 9

BE STRONG!!! you should use these .I have been using some deep meditation Cd's that have helped me a lot thy cause a bunch of issues to surface though, i think it is so that you are faced with it and you can overcome the issue, the instructions for the program say to use the Cd's every day but i think that it is only a good idea to do this for the first six weeks of the program and then to use them at your own pace of maybe two or three times a week at least for me anyway, ALSO DON'T TURN THE VOLUME UP VERY LOUD AT ALL WHEN LISTENING TO THE CD'S (when listening to these Cd's you have to use a portable CD player with headphones) the company is called center-point (click on link)http://www.centerpointe.com

Answer 10

Seems like you do want some attention. But I wouldn't continue cutting myself if I were you. You may find you cut too deep, and get an infection or worse yet, keloids which look like inflated scars. It's so ugly, and most of all dangerous to your psyche. You might give yourself a mental illness such as schizophrenia from that kind of infliction. You don't want to give yourself a mental illness do you?That would be sad.

Answer 11

Everyone wants to be noticed. But thats going about it the wronge way... If you want to get noticed a little more, change your appearance, or speak up in groupings, or in class.

one false move.. and its over.. and people will just feel that you were that one person... your not getting noticed that way.

It is for attention for the most part. guilt, fear, as well. If your angry.. I find that it is best the i keep a journal.. And i just write like im ******* madd or something... And i dont read what i write.. i write everything even if i think of the purple cow in the sky, whatever im thinking i write.. and i decorate the journals and bring it everywhere.. its like my security blanket, and everyone needs one of those.. Even if youve outgrown your PJs, you need your security blanket still. Even the baddest people have them.