My boyfriend and I have been dating only for a few months, he is 25, recently divorced and also has a daughter. He has had issues with his ex-wife, they argue alot. Today I called him just to ask him if he was having a good day at work, and he started actting stupid with me and fighting with me....he said that it was my fault...but then went on saying that she called and started arguing....I try to be understand....but sometime I wonder if she just calls just to get him in a bad mood.....I want to be a good girlfriend, but I just don't know what to do.
2006-11-02 17:51:04 · 23 answers · asked by Jamie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I wouldn't stay with someone who treated me like that. Why would you? If you choose to stay with him, then be prepared to deal with all of the "bad days" that he will be taking out on you. There are plenty of guys out there that know how to respect their woman and I suggest that you get one of those. Trying to be understanding is you just trying to justify why he treats you like crap. You have only been in this for a few months, move on to better things. You deserve it.
2006-11-02 17:59:36 · answer #1 · answered by Nemesis 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
ok, obviously he is still "married" to her. When a person gets divorced they must do so in every way, physically, mentally, emotionally, legally, etc. The problem you are facing is that he is letting her control him, hence the saying "those who can anger you can control you", and you shouldnt be a part of that.
There is nothing else you can do but to tell him how you feel and let him know that this is hurting you but you can't continue to be a casualty of her whims. Whatever happened between him and her is past and he shouldn't let her make it part of the present.
I understand the child situation, I am divorced myself with children and my ex tried to play the same games and it was simply her way of making sure I wasn't happy or with someone because for some reason she felt that I needed to suffer some more.
Hope this helps and im me if you want to talk
2006-11-02 18:02:09 · answer #2 · answered by ttepinzon 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Lets be honest hun ex'es have a way of bringing out a bad mood!(thats usually why their our exes) But when he hits you with a case of the crabby monkeys, then I would back up and give him some space. In the same respect you are not his doormat for bad moods either. When he comes at you harshly just nicely tell him when you feel like talking give me a call back. He probably doesnt mean to take it out on you. Yet feels a comfort or safety zone with you which is good to a point. You may not be able to change his reaction to her but you can change your reaction toward him after hes had to deal with her.
2006-11-02 18:03:55 · answer #3 · answered by btsnpieces 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You don't have to understand. His (totally unwarranted) bad moods are an omen of even more bad things to come. It's people like them who grow up to be wife beaters and bullies in future.
Do not ever think you can "mend" his ways or correct him. It never happens. You can never correct a man. I am a man so I should know.
Dump him straight away.
Dump him now. You deserve better.
2006-11-02 17:57:42 · answer #4 · answered by Calculus 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
jamie: Your boy friend is emotionally immature and is not a "right" for you ! He is divorced for a reason ... THINK about it ??? !!!
Does your boy friend place the good portion of the blame for his marriage failure on his ex? Of course it's all "your fault" ... just ask him? Catch my drift? Run for the hills ... you have a "hot head" on your hands. His verbal tantrums will continue because he uses out-bursts of anger to get his way with people. Look forward to a life of doubt and depression should you decide to stay with this "treat" ! You have to find a "good" boy friend to be a "good girlfriend" to. Good luck to you !
2006-11-02 18:10:10 · answer #5 · answered by guraqt2me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've been dating him for a few months too many. Why put yourself in the middle of their unresolved drama? He still needs to work out things with her even if they are divorced. Find someone without a ex-wife and maybe you'll be happier. If he doesn't see your support as something positive, then it's his loss.
2006-11-02 17:56:06 · answer #6 · answered by Italionaire 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Find a decent guy who is able to control his bad moods. Even if u were the cause of his bad moods, which u obviously aren't, he shouldn't treat u this way. Move on! He's got issues and he is not ready for u!
2006-11-02 17:54:52 · answer #7 · answered by Corina 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Mate, if I was you, I would take my good mood out on him... whistle a happy tune as you walk out of his life for good. You are not going out with him but you are dating him & his ex! The troubles between them are your troubles and you are taking the blame for her problems with him. She is out of the picture in a romantic sense but is still very much there in every other way so the longer you stay, the more this is going to wear you down until there is nothing left of you but a shell. You might think you like the guy but what's he really got going for him? He sounds like a complete loser to me and any man that takes his problems out on a woman that loves him is a weak, gutless child. Get yourself a proper man.
2006-11-02 17:58:36 · answer #8 · answered by punkvixen 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are a good girlfriend. He's a bad boyfriend. Fine a different one. You can do better than this one. If he treats you like this already, it will only get worse.
2006-11-02 17:58:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Understanding that you are trying to be a good girlfriend, and not really be argumentive.. I suggest that you tell him what he's doing to you. You don't have to be very aggressive with it.. but at a point where he isn't mad.. and calm.. you should try talking to hiim and laying your cards on the table.
2006-11-02 17:53:51 · answer #10 · answered by Babyfaceboy 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋