when i first met my hubby, his brother didn't like me. after i had a baby he finally got a girlfriend and now she is just heinous towards me even tho me and my brother in-law get along fine now. it's been 4 years and now all of a sudden she says my husband is going to be in her wedding, and my daughter as the flower girl, but i'm not even invited. i've never been anything but nice to her, but i'm at my wits end. what should i do, besides what i really wanna do and cause her physical harm? and the worst part is, my mother in-law praises her in front of me all the time and never says anything nice to me. my hubby is ready to cut off his family for me, what should we do?
2006-11-02 17:08:50 · 17 answers · asked by divamommy_4 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
What kind of example is your potential in-law setting for your children by leaving you out totally, from even, attending the wedding ? Discuss this issue with your husband because this has the potential to become a real marriage buster ! You are married to your husband - not his family ! Keep plenty of space from them and in the event that the in-laws attempt to make contact with you, have your husband deal with HIS side of the family not you. Don't do any physical harm or damage to her or her property [includes reputation - leaves you open for libel law-suit]. Years ago during marital training the best advice I received from the instructor was this. " Stay as far away from your mother in-law's door step, as possible" ! In-laws are one of the causes of martial break-up, along with sexual issues and money issues.
Let's face it ... you are not going to change your in-laws ill feelings towards you. Think about moving far away and saving both, your marriage and sanity. I hope your husband and daughter have the "horse" sense not to attend the wedding. Good luck to you and your family.
2006-11-02 17:31:47 · answer #1 · answered by guraqt2me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is your husband willing to not attend the wedding for you because you aren't even invited?! I would be upset if my husband and daughter were in a wedding that I wasn't even invited to!!!
I would cut all ties to his family!!! You would feel so much better. It's sad, but if that's the way it has to be, so be it!! But you would probably feel better emotionally if you did not associate with them ever again. There wouldn't be anymore fighting, chest pain, or high blood pressure!! lol You would both feel relieved. And it would be easier on your little girl not to be in the middle of all that bickering going on.
Good luck in what ever you decide to do. I feel for ya!! I have a sister in law from hell myself!!! Unfortunately, my husband isn't willing to do what your husband is. You're very lucky!! =)
2006-11-02 17:39:55 · answer #2 · answered by Jenna 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Rise above it. Ignore her attempts to insult you - after all, what does it really matter? Be the bigger person. Let your husband decide how he wants to interact with his family; letting him cut them off "for you" is a terrible idea. If HE decides that their behavior is so hurtful that he can't accept it any longer, then support his decision.
Of course, if your daughter is ever put in the middle or asked to choose sides, the whole picture changes. That's when you have to step in and set some boundaries as a team with your husband.
2006-11-02 17:34:24 · answer #3 · answered by amivins 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
talk to your brother in law ask him what the problem is with his girlfriend, or better still ask her.
tell them neither you hubby nor your daughter will be apart of the wedding and tell them if things dont change your hubby will finish them it may give them the shock they need and if it doesnt then cut ties with them a family like that isnt worth having or worrying about and its their lose not yours as they are the ones who will miss out on your daughter growing up not you.
2006-11-03 05:50:36 · answer #4 · answered by rosierotweiller 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
STARTS BY TELLING THE TRUTH ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL TO ALL OF THOSE FAKE -------- people stop backing down you can't let someone that's not even a member of the family shut you out you're the wife she's not they suppose to be kissing your a---- not hers you can say whats on your mind without being impolite to his mother and brother to the sister in law get down right nasty without kicking her a---- make dinner invite everyone but her so she gets the message FAMILY OR NO FAMILY AT ALL
2006-11-02 17:46:10 · answer #5 · answered by kitty 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
DON'T MAKE HUBBY CHOOSE!!!! Let him go to this circus of a wedding, (that deep down inside you don't want to go to anyway!!!) Even let your daughter be her uncle's flower girl. Use the day as a YOU day, go to a day spa, get your hair done, nails and feet. Go see a play, bottom line, use the day as an escape day for yourself and make sure you flaunt it so no one thinks you were home stewing. Let your husband do it, you only have one family, unfortunately his is very needy sounds like. Let them need eachother for the day!! smile
2006-11-02 17:17:00 · answer #6 · answered by elmb 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
wel, this is between your husbands family..unfortunately you are stuck in the middle...i can only hope that your hubby will have to respectfully decline attending or participating in the weeding because you have not even been invited. i think you should let him handle this ad not say a word. this is his battle and he must do the fighting. otherwise it will just come back on you.
2006-11-02 17:12:06 · answer #7 · answered by moluvsmark 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I was in a similiar stituation but it was my husband's cousin. I left it all to my husband, dont put no pressure on him, dont even mention the situation just let the day come and let him decide. My husband decided not to go When i asked him why he sayed he would've felt awkard there being there without me.
2006-11-02 17:41:38 · answer #8 · answered by Angie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let your husband & daughter be a part of the wedding and then avoid her to keep peace in the family
2006-11-02 17:11:57 · answer #9 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Honor your husband and keep peace in the family by allowing them to stand in the wedding, but be a bigger person.
After the wedding, talk to her about it. If that doesn't work out,
Ignore her . She sounds like she is jealous of you anyway.
2006-11-02 17:41:10 · answer #10 · answered by swtfreedom1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋