I am going crazy. What should I do??? Need wedding help?????

Question

this is what's up. I am getting married in about 4 months and nothing is coming together. I want a small wedding, but my fiance's family is so big that small is out of the picture. I feel frantic and very irrational. Nothing is done and we have very little time or money to pull all of this together. No dress, no place, no photographer, no cake. We only have hopes. I can't change my wedding date. What would you do?

"I guess I should add this" We had more than enough time to plan this wedding. We've had the date since maybe March of 06. I just kept procrastinating when I started planning because it is so stressful ,especialy the part when I have to make the guest list and family members total more than triple of what I want the whole wedding to be, I am the one to blame for this big delima.

I really appreciate everyones advice. Thank yall so much. I really am starting to believe that there still may be some hope.

Answer 1

List your priorities. What is important to you about your wedding? Be realistic as you make your list.

Guest list is the hardest part of the wedding. Lets look at something realistic. Large family-little money. Is the family itself large or is it cousins and aunts and uncles? If it is extended family, then you have a choice. You can have the small wedding you actually want and save money OR you can have a huge wedding with people you may love, but cant afford...and be paying off the wedding with interest for years. I was in the same situation. If my husband and I would have invited more than siblings, parents and grandparents we would have had over 300 people. No way. And picking and choosing the aunt that can come and the uncle who cant is a way to have a feud of epic proportions. So...you need to make your choice.

Once you know the side of it all you can go from there. Dress? I got my dress for $350. See if you have a friend that can lend you a veil....that will save money. A dress that is called a "wedding dress" is more than a nice ivory dress you like. (generally) Or tell your wedding dress person that you are on a budget and see what they have. You wont be the first and you wont be the last to not want or be able to afford a $5000 dress for one day.

Place? Esp for smaller weddings, a nice yard is perfect. It allows people to be more relaxed and have a better time. What about a campground? Many have nice indoor/outdoor ampitheaters that also have a bit of shade. Or a friend's cabin. I found tent rental to be expensive for here, but price around.

Photographer? Is there a college near you? See if there are any classes for photography and see if the instructor or students are interested. (make sure you see work first!) Ask your officiant, they will know of good ones too.

Cake? Culinary school near by? Small mom & pop's place? Safeway grocer? Costco? All will save. I found cupcakes to be cheaper and more personal. You can also have more flavours for people. A cake stand can rent for $25 or you can buy cupcake trees. (they can be pricey...see if a cake place can rent a tiered cake thing for less and do the cupcakes on it)

Talk to your hubby to be and see if you can agree on cutbacks. You dont want your wedding day to be full of dollar signs rather than love.

Good luck. :)

Answer 2

Generally speaking, the earlier in the day a wedding is held, the less formal it must be. Earlier weddings are also a lot cheaper in most areas. Go to some bridal shops, and ask around. They might know of someone who is having a wedding on the same day, but at a different time than you are, so you might be able to "piggyback" the photographer, if it is in the same area or place. Also, as far as food, etc, if you have an early afternoon wedding, you can get away with less elaborate food, etc. Maybe you could enlist the help of family members to help with some details. See if there is a Wedding Chapel in your town. I know of several in our area that can have the wedding and reception all in building, so there are less details as far as transportation, etc.
As far as the cake goes, you could go to a bakery, and just get a display wedding cake that's not too big, but get a sheet cake to actually serve your guests. A lot of people do this to help with the cost.
I rented a dress for my wedding, and told the lady at the bridal shop that I would like first dibs on it if she ever sold it, so that was way less expensive than buying a dress to wear for a couple of hours.
Buy some disposable cameras to set out for your reception. You will be amazed at how much stuff you won't see while you are busy at your reception.
Look online or buy a book that has checklists in it, so you will make sure that you don't overlook something.
As far as groomsmen and attendents go, If you have an early wedding, you can just have them wear matching suits with ties, and the girls can wear dresses in a similar color.
Most of all, don't worry about it. I have been to weddings at bonfires, lakes, churches, etc, but the ones that have been the most memorable seem to be the ones where the bride and groom seemed happy and relaxed. Don't lose the importance of your big day in the petty details that will be forgotten.

Answer 3

First of all panicking is not going to help at all. Take a few deep breaths and keep focused on what needs to be done. Here are a few things that helped me out on my wedding as I had a very low budget and time as well. Cake: Home made or purchased from a place like Wal-Mart for $20. Not ellaborate but it was a nice cake nonetheless. Place: A relative's house. Having a wedding in a backyard or a relative's place that will support your guests is always a plus. Photographer: We had a friend with a digital camera that took pictures for us and then burned them onto a disc. We then printed them out and mailed them. Oh yes the dress. Believe it or not I went to Goodwill and there was a perfect dress for me and it fit and everything. I had two and a half months to plan for a wedding and I did it using the above. I really hope this helps you out. Good luck and congratulations. Always remember to relax and take it one day at a time.

Answer 4

Right girl, calm down first. This is you and your other halfs special day and don't let anybody else ruin that. Sit down with a list of potential venues, go through good and bad points of what your both want...and make a decision. Organise the relevant professional to do the "I do" bit, Get a few quotes from Photographers and book this too - most will adapt any pre-priced packages to what you want. Then compile your Guest List going on how many you can afford to come and do the whole day (ie costings for meals) and any others can come at night 'cos then it's just a big party and it doesn't matter if theirs somebody their your maybe not wanting 'cos you don't have to speak to them. DO NOT LISTEN TO WHAT ANYBODY ELSE HAS TO SAY ABOUT YOUR GUEST LIST....if you and your man are happy then put your blinkers on. (your day remember).

Get your invites sorted and sent out (remember to put RSVP date on it). Then go dress shopping and enjoy it...your only doing this the once. Once you've got that sorted speak with your Venue about food and what they include in the price (ie table linen etc) and think about your decorations which don't have to be expensive, organise your cake (again doesn't have to be expensive) and other bits like flowers if your having. You...are all sorted.

Sit back, wait for the RSVPs to come in, get your numbers to the Venue, start playing around with your table plans and write/print up your place names, confirm your food and any drinks you want to give (remember not a lot of people enjoy Champagne so why bother!!), get your outfits sorted. Keep in contact with your Venue - they have done this before and will know exactly what needs to be organised and they should 'guide' you.

Enjoy your day, don't panic, do what YOU BOTH want to and enjoy being married.....wish you the best of luck.

Answer 5

All the websites that you will look at will be telling you to plan a year in advance but if it is going to be a simple wedding you will be FINE!
Don't stress!
Well you have to get your priorties straight with what you want.
You are running short on time!!!!
You will not be able to order any dresses or your own dress because it takes 5-6 months to get
I bought my dress on ebay turned out great! You just have to be careful and make sure you order the right size but if you get your measurments done right you will not have a problem!!
#1 pick your attendants
#2 Get tuxes and dresses ordered/rented and get a Dj lined up if you need one!
#3get a place to get married a hall/ church
#4 Get your invitations out
#5 Get your cake ordered
#6 flowers
#7 decorating ideas/centerpieces

Answer 6

i'd buy one of those bridal organizers from a bookstore. it will help you with your timeline. I think you should make a list and set goals for yourself... for instance
I will use November 3rd through the 9th to look for photographers and have one booked by November 10th.
I will look for dresses every saturday afternoon and have one picked out and ordered by December 1st. Dont' forget to make appiontments at the shops
I will look on the net for cake ideas and order one by the end of the week.
once you start to get these some of these things checked off your list other tasks wont' seem so daunting. you have a three months before your invitations need to be at the people's houses so put it on the back burner for a a bit... take care of your dress, flowers, photographer, dj, bridesmaids dresses, and things like that then hit the things that are causing you trouble. But know the longer you wait the more stressful it will be. Don't forget you can delegate somethings you Mr. Right... for instance let him find a DJ while you go dress shopping. let him pick out his own tux while you shop for bridesmaid dressses Don't forget to take him to pick out photographers, cake, and flowers so that the choices aren't just yours and so you can make the choices together.

Answer 7

Why not have a small ceremony (registry or church) with immediate family only followed by a party in a pub or restaurant for everyone else afterwards? That way venue can take care of catering and you can make the guest list more casual - finger food rather than a sit down meal.

Answer 8

Of course there is hope!!!! Now, what you need is a wedding planner to help you bring together all of your last minute details. Where are you from/where are you getting married?? I am a wedding planner on the east coast, but I have connections everywhere and can do a lot of it myself, even if you aren't on the east coat...send me an email jachekian1 at yahoo dot com and we can chat a bit...everything is going to be fine!!!

Answer 9

I would get a place first. Usually halls or fraternal organizations are less expensive. Go to a place like Davids bridal for your gown. They have a large price range. You just have to make a list and start somewhere, To save money on flowers, I know someone who got her flowers at a supermarket for a quarter of what a regular florist charges.

Answer 10

wow...I would make a list and start checking things off.
1- place (backyard is all ways nice)
2- ask a family member to pay for one
3- go get a dress it doesnt have to be from a wedding store.
4- order one from a super market (people dont care as long as its sweet)