When i miscarried i named my baby a unisex name cause i will never know if it was a boy or girl but i am wondering did or has anyone else done that? Did it help you?
2006-11-02 16:54:22 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
I have had 2 miscarriages. The first was just before I successfully carried my first son to term. The second has been very recently, and will not be followed by any more children as we already have 3 lovely boys.
Neither of these children were named, and both were exceptionally difficult to deal with.
I think this needs to be a personal choice based on what will help you deal with what is ultimately a very traumatic experience. I have had suggested to me that we plant a shrub, or have some other ongoing reminder of the children we have lost, personally my husband I agree that this would be too difficult to deal with. But again this is a personal choice. I wish you well and hope that the decision you have made brings you peace,
2006-11-02 23:40:01 · answer #1 · answered by spence_bubble 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It never even occurred to me when it happened to me years ago, but these days groups/experts who specialize in helping women deal with miscarriage recommend that they give the baby a name.
On the one hand, it was difficult for me to have "nothing to hang onto" surrounding the miscarriage (except for a couple of gifts people had given me and an unused prescription bottle); on the other, I think it forced me to find a way to adjust and deal with the "nothingness" because I just didn't have anything "concrete" to "transfer" (for lack of a more appropriate term) any feelings to. My mind just had to work it all out and find some grounding on its own.
On the other hand, people say that naming the baby does help people. I guess it gives them that (and a couple of other steps they may take) as a way of doing something for their baby and having some closure. One of the things with miscarriage is mothers often feel their child has been deprived of so much. The least it can have is a name because it did exist. That's another element to it - acknowledging that it existed for a while.
When all is said and done, no matter what you do it will take a certain amount of time for the woman to get back to feeling ok.
2006-11-02 17:13:33 · answer #2 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No we did not name our baby that I miscarried, however the names we had chosen 1 for a boy, 1 for a girl we choose never to use for future pregnancys. I often think of the baby on my expected due date. It is much easier now I have 2 beautifull children & concieved my baby girl 3 months post miscarriage, so if i would have not misscarried I would not have my princess
2006-11-02 17:00:24 · answer #3 · answered by notAminiVANmama 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I named both my miscarriages. I have also had a stillborn. I also have 2 other children. Every christmas I hang stockings for my 2 children. Plus I found these real little stockings, I bought 3 of them and wrote the names of my 2 miscarriages and my stillborn on them so that they are never forgotten especially around the holidays. It has helped me a lot.
2006-11-03 02:49:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes my friend gave her miscarried baby a name,she knew it was a baby boy,thats why she named the baby Nikko Nishida.
2006-11-02 17:08:13 · answer #5 · answered by carmi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry about your loss. It can certainly help some people, and give them closure. I have been very supportive to moms that have miscarried, and find it important to have an identity to their baby regardless of unknown gender.
2006-11-02 17:07:42 · answer #6 · answered by Bellisima 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My best friend named her baby boy that she miscarried and even built a little monument garden in her back yard for him.
2006-11-02 17:11:09 · answer #7 · answered by ♥cinnamonmj♥ 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It was a sad experience for me as it would have been my first child with a woman. I never thought of naming it. Wish I would have. I do think of it from time to time and the look of my woman as she was sitting on the toilet and looked up at me and said; "Something is wrong". :-(
2006-11-02 17:07:14 · answer #8 · answered by Snaglefritz 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, I did not. But I do not think it is odd, or wrong in doing so.
My miscarriage was a boy, and he was going to be named after his dad, i ended up haveing all girls....
2006-11-02 17:07:07 · answer #9 · answered by next.... 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have not had a miscarraige but my cousin did, she already knew it was a girl and she named her sarah rose it helped her she said
2006-11-02 17:02:48 · answer #10 · answered by Shadow Kat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋