Is it just me, or is this kinda stupid/cruel of my parents?

Question

when i was a child, both my parents smoked in the house, a pack a day each. It disgusted me and embarrsed me to go to school smelling like it, & that my friends wouldnt come over because of the smell. 13 of our family members have died because of smoking-related lungcancer and/or emphysema. I dont understand how they can still smoke. The idea of seeing my parents die early and horrible deaths because of their addiction scares me. I know we will all die someday, but still, its horrible. My dad would even tell me to leave him alone, and that I would probably end up smoking just like all my older brothers. I've never had so much as a drag. Now that we are all out of the house, & they live in a nice place, they dont smoke indoors anymore. I will always be a little bitter that they didnt have the courtesy to take it outiside while we were growing up. For those of you who do this to your kids, maybe you should listen to them. Everyone else, am i wrong to be offended by what they did?

Answer 1

no, my mom did the same to me. I often wonder if i'll get cancer before she does.. :(

Answer 2

I agree with what your saying, and I'm a smoker. I have two little girls. I stopped smoking for both pregnancies and was very stupid and started back up each time. BUT, neither my husband and I smoke in the house. We never have and never will. We wash our hands everytime we come in and make sure we air out ourselves before coming into the house. We do not allow smoking in our vehicles either. We smoke because it's our choice(although I am going through smoking cessation, so I can quit), our babies have no choice. I don't think I could live with the guilt of smoking in the same house, let alone the same room as my kids. My babies have the right to breathe clean air, and to take that right away from them is selfish, let alone lazy. It doesn't take that much energy to go outside and smoke. In the winter, you just smoke a lot less!!

Answer 3

No, it isn't wrong of you to be offended, hurt, horrified, whatever. What was done to you was crappy, and there's no requirement that you be in denial just because you love somebody.

A huge percentage of people of a certain generation got addicted to cigarettes. But. Many of them quit when it became known that smoking caused cancer. And many of those who were just so addicted that they couldn't quit chose to do their smoking outside so they wouldn't harm their kids.

I don't know much about the smoking end of things - my situation was that my folks had plenty of money to spend on booze, but not money for things like clothing or dental or medical care. I suppose this at least helps me relate to a little of the hurt they caused you, the idea that using a substance was more important than your well-being.

Aside from the emotional hurt, there's the very real possibility that you're now at risk for lung cancer and that people in your family are more susceptible to it. Knowing that, is there any kind of monitoring that can be done? Periodic peeks at your lungs so that if you do get cancer, it can be caught and treated early?

I'm sorry this happened to you, and like you, I don't understand how people can live in such a massive state of denial. It stinks. I'm sorry.

Answer 4

You should be as bitter as possible.Not to be cold hearted but you should have been the only thing on thier mind as a caring adult.I stopped smoking at the age of 18 when I got pregnent with my 1st daughter and now I have 3 kids ages 6,5 and almost 2 and 6 years clean of smoking.Now thier daddy does still smoke BUT outside, and he can freeze his skinny little but off in the winter as far as I'm conserned.LOL!!

Answer 5

no way are you wrong to be offended, i lived the same way growing up but not by choice i cant smoke or inhale smoke for medical reasons from birth and even from the day i was born up to the age of 18 my parents smoked inside the house regardless of my condition, its so selfish. now i have my daughter and they do not smoke inside and they do not smoke around her. but i think was i not important enough to worry about. I had a heart problem and ruptured lung so i can never smoke. i wouldnt want to even if i could. you are well in your right to be bothered by this and keep on your parents about their smoking my parents are more aware of it now and are doing more since i brought up the fact my grandfather died at 62 of heart attack when i was six and did not want the same for my daughter.. when i put it into perspective like that for them they understood better im sorry to be going on like this but it is so important.... if they cut you off just say no wait til im finished and then say what you have to say but until then i want you to listen its important. gooodluck ... :)

Answer 6

Nope. You're right. My mom died about 3 years ago from complications of a lung transplant. The reason for the transplant?? Smoking. COPD. Emphysema. My dad smoked too. They smoked in the house.....and in the car...I was always breathing it in....and I too never smoked...while my other two sisters smoke...I never did...never will...

I agree with you....it would have been curteous of our parents not to smoke indoors....

Answer 7

I think you have a valid reason to be upset with your parents. The feeling of your health not being treated as important growing up by them smoking in the house. Telling you to leave them alone when bring up your concerns. I belive those are valid reasons to be offended. I would be too.

My mom stop smoking when she had my older sister. My grandpa on his death bed smelt the smoke on my mom and told her "it isn't fun dying" she said she never touched one again. He died of colin cancer, throat cancer (smoking) etc. I know quite a few people who smoke with major problems as older. One very good friend has to be in a wheelchair with an oxygen tank, partly due to smoking (and dust he was exposed to back in the day being an Highway Patrol).

I know a lot of parents who smoke but at least smoke outside. However, it still is on their clothes and still is being breathed in.

I am for the propositions to be passed to make it illegal to smoke in cars and homes of children present.

Answer 8

No, I agree with what you are saying. I was fortunate enough to have nonsmoking parents, my husband on the other hand was in your situation. His parents are divorced, his Dad smokes inside, now his mom smokes only outside of her home, but she will in her sisters homes. His family seems to think I am a freak for telling them my children wont be near them when they are smoking.It is wrong, kids should be protected from the harms of second hand smoke, I also hate having to deal with it in public places.

Don't ever feel wrong about your feelings! They have no right to subject you to their smoking!

Answer 9

No, I'm the same way. My parents smoke. Both of my dads parents died of cancer from smoking and my grandmother on my moms side had major lung issues from smoking. I don't smoke. I won't smoke. My parents know how I feel about it but its their decision. I don't agree with it, but it's what they wanted.

Answer 10

It wasn't stupid; they didn't know better. Cigarette companies used to give free smokes away to get people hooked. There was so much political pay-off involved because of the trillion dollars industry that no research was allowed to be public until the 70s.

Although our parents gave us second-hand smoke, they did not realize it was harmful.

Answer 11

Both of my parents smoked, my ex wife still does. Yes, its disgusting and selfish. I think, at least in my case, that they're refusal to stop or do it outside was a defensive response to all of the hostility they get for smoking in general. And as far as dieing second hand smoke is worse than first hand so its more dangerous for you than them.