Do you think I should give him a second chance?

Question

Son's dad dumped me when he found out I was pregnant. Have had problems ever since. He hardly ever contacts my son. Yet his mom says he has an interest in writing and talking to him again. (it's been off and on for years) My son is 10. Should I just say "the heck with ya?" and not give him a chance - or give him a chance because he is his biologocial dad? (fyi - hes mad because i went to court for child suport)

Answer 1

I would think at this point it is in your sons hands on whether or not he wants to see his dad. In my point of view closing off the window of visitation could back fire on you in years to come. Sooner or later your son will realize if his dad is worth the hassle and heartache. In the mean time comfort your son when his dad upsets him but dont tell him what a loser his dad is at the same time do not make excuses on why the jerk couldn't see him. Its such a hard situation but at 10 the courts would let him have the final decision so you might as well also.

Answer 2

I think that you should let your son decide he is 10 years old. You did the right thing about going to court to get child support. I guess he probably feels like he is obligated now because he has been order to pay child support. I think your son maybe have some questions he probably wants to ask his Father and I think he should put his butt right on front street so he can answer those questions and stop running. But if your son say he doesn't want to see him then to heck with it.

Answer 3

I would tell him to grow up. He is no real man in the first pace if he dumped you when he found out you were pregnant. A real man/dad would be there regaurdless. It sounds to me like this guy is seeing the child as if it were a chore or obligation. Save the child the hurt and let dad go, when your son is old enough I would explain things to him and let him make his choice to see dad from then on. I cant beleive he is mad over child support!! He laid down and helped make him so now he has to help take care of him!! I am sorry this happens to anyone, its sad.

Answer 4

I don't think you should allow him to walk in and out of your sons life. Whether he is the biological father or not. Children can't have people walking in and out of their lives constantly, it'll give a negative feedback onto his life. You should discuss this with your son whether or not he wants to hear from his real father or not. Because if you make the discussion on your own, he might hate you and think you are the reason why his father and him were separated and make you seem like the bad guy here. He is old enough to know what is going on, and he should be mature enough to decide if he wants to risk having this man walk in and out of his life. Tell him the consequences of his choices. There really isn't much more you can do but inform your son and help him make a positive choice about this. Good luck!

Answer 5

i think of you could study plenty from a 2d probability. I specific did. If I hadn't of married Ray the 2d time, i might have consistently puzzled if there replaced right into a raffle we could have made it artwork. We divorced after the 2d marriage additionally. yet now we are sturdy friends, and all of us know that we are actually no longer meant to be married or fanatics. Now this is by no skill an argument. I discovered a great sort of roughly verbal substitute and approximately what i'm incredibly searching for in a mate, and additionally approximately issues that i ought to artwork on if I ever come to a sort to get married lower back. Our son who's 14 has even mentioned that he replaced into satisfied we tried lower back, yet that we specific combat plenty much less now that we at the instant are not residing interior an identical domicile. :) And he's suitable. His father is very plenty in his life, yet my son isn't compelled to go through by our doomed courting.

Answer 6

Let him see your son. He might not be the best dad in the world, but he is the kids dad.

Don't let your child see the anger between you and your X.

Your son will eventually hate you if you keep him from his dad.

It is time to set aside the bad blood between you and the kids dad. It will be the best gift that you can give your son.

Remember your son is genetic related to his father and if you talk smack about him... in a way you are talking smack your son.
You can't understand this but your little boy will sense your disapproval and in a way it is not likeing him.

Be the bigger person in this. In the long run you will be glad.

Answer 7

Set the example as the good parent. Let him see the kid and do whatever you can to make sure the kid has access to his dad. It's the kid's right. Even if you're trying to protect your son, he's gonna find out what's going on now or later, and if you hide anything he'll just be angry at you. Cover your *** and always do the RIGHT thing. You'll be the good guy ;) I help with a group called KIDS NEED BOTH PARENTS and I have lots of advice and personal experince to back it up...

Answer 8

when i was young my real dad left my mom for the same reason so as a persons who's in his late 20's now this answer would probably be from your sons point of view. although the question your asking is should a man who doesn't want kids be given a chance to be a father there is also a question of should your own son be given a chance to know his real father. in my situation i wouldn't want anyone answering that question for me. but of course i didn't make that choice (which was to not try and contact him anymore) until I was old enough to do so with a clear understanding of why(something my mother knew long before me), but i appreciated my mother later for allowing me to have the choice one way or the other.

Answer 9

I think your son might be old enough to make that decision. If you think that he is mature and emotionally stable enough, I say ask him if he wants to talk to his dad. If he says no, then tell the dad sorry; too little too late. If he says yes; then I think you should be fully supportive.
The main goal here is to help your son have the best life possible.

Answer 10

I'm afraid the law doesn't give you the right to deny this loser access to your son, if he wants to he could assert his right to see your son in a court of law. Unless you can definately prove that having the father of your child visiting your son will put your son in danger, you would lose the case. If Mr.loser is not dangerous, save yourself the possible agoney of a posible courtcase and let loser visit your son.