scared as hell....?

Question

i really love this guy n he says he really likes me too, but he doesnt wanna or says he isnt ready for a relationship cauz he still likes his ex.ive waited a year for him now n he broke up with her over a year ago...i dont think i can go on like this anymore cauz its just hurtin me too much...we r suppose to have a talk soon about this n if its gonna go anywhere n make a decision whether to let go or not. i kno what i want but not sure about him cauz if he really did like me as he says then he woulda done something about it, but he didnt so far after all this time cauz hes "not ready". im scared as hell of what hes gonna say, decide, if we r gonna have to say goodbye to eachother for good (if he still wont want to b with me), what do u guys think, assume might happen??? a few days ago he said he misses me n wants to talk it out...

Answer 1

Its not going anywhere trust me!! move on...he's obviously not that into you...(im not saying that to be mean hunny but i dont want him waisting your time...you deserve better!)

Answer 2

While it's possible that he may like you, and some day want to be with you, it is also possible he may not.
By letting him keep putting off the decision he has to make, you are inadvertently telling him it is OK to treat your feelings this way.
Take some time away from each other-no phone,e-mail,meeting, for at least 2 weeks.
What would be good for you is to figure out what YOU want from this relationship. Write it down. I don't mean hearts and flowers, but emotional commitment, exclusive dating, etc. This may take some thought, but once you're done, you'll know better what your limits are.
This way, when he responds, you will be able to know if it is acceptable to you.
For example, if he says he is unsure and needs more time, you can be firm. You could tell him he's had enough time. Just do yourself a favor and don't get wishy-washy at this point.
If he really wants to be with you, he should be able to know by now. You will only cause yourself more heartache if you linger with out an enthusiastic partner. Perhaps standing up and saying you want certain things from him and no less will do will make him "see the light". If it doesn't, don't let him sucker you into being his standby date, ensuring that he never has to be lonely or worry that he will be. You deserve better than that.
Now, go get it!
God bless!

Answer 3

I'm sorry dear - if you have to convince him to be together, you two probably don't have a chance.

You're a ping pong ball, bouncing around the relationship wherever he directs you. You wait. You talk. You wait some more. You talk some more. Bouncebouncebounce. Don't you want to be the paddle for once? Tell him you're moving on? Trick is, then you have to do it.

You'll probably continue to bounce around at his whim. If it's any consolation, he's just as powerless in his relationship with his ex. She'll play him exactly the way he'll play you, and probably neither of you will be strong enough to break the cycle. Too bad, because you've already lost a year with some great guy, whom you never met because you were "in love" with this guy.

(I know from whence I speak. I was that guy, manipulating a girl who liked me while I was in love with someone else. I didn't really mean to, but you don't throw away one girl even while pining for another. She finally got the balls to leave, after about 2 years - and the ex never took me back. To this day I think I should have pursued the relationship, she would have been very good for me and I think I could have loved her in a deep way. Regardless, she left, I got nothing, and I was alone in the end. I learned from that situation. Hope you learn from yours.)

Answer 4

Talk to him about this and tell him he needs to make a decision.

Either he is going to get together with you or he isn't. Also give him the option to just be friends with him too.

I think he is pining over his ex. She broke up with him, right? rather than the other way around. He should have gotten over it by now, unless she is still stringing him along.

You say you want him, so at least you know what you want. You need to tell him that he has to make up his mind as you can't wait around for ever. If you make him make a choice, that might just snap him out of it, hopefully. Worst case, he is enjoying having you follow him and wait for him. You need to stand up for yourself and show that you have a mind of your own. If he is a decent guy, he will respect you for that and make a choice.

Good luck.

Answer 5

It is not us to decide but for us to only guide you. He needs time to get over his ex or go back to his ex. You need to get away and you need to tell him that he needs time. If you love something, let it go, if it does not come back then it was not meant to be. How can you waste your life waiting on somethin that might not happen. Just think the average man has 4000 saturdays in his life time. How many saturdays are you going to sit at home wondering where he is or what he is doing? Do you think he is wondering the same? I seriously doubt it. You live once and even if you are young or old, LIVE LIFE OUTLOUD!!!

Answer 6

dont worry he really loves u. he just needs time 2 forget his ex. its not easy u kno. but if he says he misses u then it means dat he really loves u a lot. Shower him with loads of love so that he forgets his ex. trust him plz n give him some time to think n ya most important u both need 2 talk. Discussion is very important in a relationship!

Answer 7

Most guys are fools and blind to what is right in front of them. If after a year he is still putting you on hold because he is hung up on his ex then you need to stop waiting around in the hopes that this guy will eventually open his eyes and start appreciating you. Also, dating a guy on the rebound.........yikes.......sometimes they can be real basket cases, more trouble than they are worth.

Answer 8

You know the answer to your question. The man can't make decisions and/or does't like you well enought to commit.

YouI should put a lot of distance between you and him.

He is only using you for whatever pleasure he is getting in return. Good luck. Pops

Answer 9

don't go anticipating what you think he may so....all you can do is wait for the talk and go from there..he is either going to tell you that he wants to have a relationship with you or tell you it couldn't possibily work..if he tells you that it is over that things aren't going to go any further....so be it....have urself a good cry, pick yourself up and go out there and find somebody who can commit ...and if he tells you that he wants to take the relationship to the next level then you will be happy and there wont' be a problem

Answer 10

Dude is playing with your emotions, if you permit this to continue he will keep playing games with you. A year is long enough to decide if a relationship is a keeper or not. Ditch this player and find someone who knows if they want to be with you.

Answer 11

go find someone else [like yesterday]!!!
if he just broke up wit another girl chances are he will break up w/you.
and do not be afraid. [just do it] now before you wait too long and cannot do it.
find someone who really likes you and that you have a lot in common.
do this now so you will not get hurt later!!