My husband has two children, ages 6 and 11. Their mother sends the oldest to us with a pre-paid cell phone. We've had several issues including his staying up at night to play games on the phone. Also, when he gets in trouble, he calls mom, tells her part of the story and usually not even close to the truth. Last, he's run the phone out of minutes on several occasions and cannot account for the time. Those phone are quite expensive to recharge! He's proven to us he's just not mature enough to handle the responsibility of having a cell phone. Another concern is the fact that their mom won't call to talk to the youngest child which breaks our daughter's heart. We have never not allowed the children to call their mother when they're with us and we do not listen in on their conversations. There's no reason she cannot call the house phone our cells to talk with the kids. Are we within our rights to tell her no to sending our son to us with a cell phone? Any advice on the situation?
2006-11-02 15:49:26 · 17 answers · asked by cgspitfire 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Their mom knows she can call the house or our cell phones at any time. She will still call the house but only to talk to her son and never her daughter. The one time she did talk to her this summer (we had them for eight weeks) was when I handed the phone to her instead of her brother. Then their mom couldn't wait to get off the phone with her.
2006-11-02 15:57:51 · update #1
She knows what issues we had and says we're being too hard on him. We took the cell phone away from him at night and after recharging it 3 times (in four weeks) told her that she would have to recharge it the next time. She decided not to.
2006-11-02 15:59:48 · update #2
The kids are allowed to call their mother and other relatives anytime, anywhere. They are not limited in their calling capabilities. Their mother has not only the house number but my cell phone and my husband's home and work cell phones as well as his business number.
2006-11-02 16:07:55 · update #3
let me quess - the son is the 11 year old, right? yeah, she wants to know everything 'bad' that goes on in your home. she is using him to get to you.
when the kids come over have their dad ask for the phone. give it back when dropping them off at mom's.
if mom wants him to have a phone, he can have one at mom's house.
mom's house= mom's rules
dad's house= dad's rules
tell him to not bring it next time or he won't get it back. dad pays child support for him (for the phone), he can take it away and not give it back.
2006-11-03 01:14:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He should be able to use the cell phone to call his mom. It really doesn't matter which phone he use cell phone, or land line phone when he is in trouble he will always tell it different. You can set rules in your HOUSE and take that phone away from him after a certain hour. I would discuss this with and his Mom first ,so she'll understand the reason for your rules. And dont buy minutes for him.
2006-11-02 16:01:48 · answer #2 · answered by Iamamom 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If the kids are your husbands--no questions asked. When the kids come to your house with the cell phone just take it away. Plain and simple--he is also the parent in the situation so it's his right. If he doesn't want the cell phones being used he doesn't have to use them.
I think it's wrong that you won't let them call and talk to their mother on your phone or cell phone. Even if it's long distance most plans have free nights and weekends now--they have a right to talk to their mother while they are with you just as they have a right to talk to their father when their with her. Why won't you let them talk to their mother? That's a little crazy to me.
Has your husband talked to their mother about the situation with the little girl? If not--that's your fault. She may not even be aware that it is happening.
The only thing I could think parents should do when they get divorced is communicate--no matter what has happened in the past--it's important to the kids. By parents--I mean the biological mother and father--not step-parents.
My husband's parents are divorced. They have caused him so many problems. I'd hate to see these kids end up with the same kind. My greatest advice to you as a step-parent--stay out of it. While it's your home--you are not their parent. Talk to your husband and make him be the confrontational line of communication between you and the kids. Best of luck!
2006-11-02 16:04:26 · answer #3 · answered by .vato. 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
She may feel better knowing that her son can call at anytime with the cell. I suggest talk to her and tell her what has been going on with the phone. If she does not agree to change how he uses the phone then I say take it from him when he gets to your house and only allow him to use it to call his mom. I would probably also have your husband be the one to talk to her since he is the father.
2006-11-02 15:54:22 · answer #4 · answered by jagbeeton 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
you are totally right. your house = your rules.
if he does happen to bring it, don't charge it. when it runs out of juice he ran out of play time.
tell the mom she's not allowed to call if she can't speak with both children and that there is a five minute (or 10 ) rule for the phone. every time she calls put the girl on first.
she might actually call if the kids know that she knows she only has a certain amount of time to be on the phone with them. she can't use any excusses as to why she doesn't call. (from the mouth of the kids " mom, why didn't you call? you know we only have 5 minutes each to talk on the phone." - now she has to listen to it)
2006-11-03 09:49:09 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Take the cell phone away until the child goes back into care of the mother. You do not have to let your child have a cell phone. Talk to a lawyer for more details, but you are in charge of a child, and that child should obey your rules.
2006-11-02 15:54:43 · answer #6 · answered by RIDLEY 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You are totally within your rights. If the phone is being used for games and trying to get his mother to play favorites, its just causing unnecessary frustration in your home. Like you say, your home phone should be adequate if conversation is necessary. She should give you a vote of confidence enough to let you deal with whatever you need without them going to her when something comes up.
2006-11-02 16:01:18 · answer #7 · answered by chiseledsteel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your house, your rules. You have a right to take away the phone the minute he gets there if you want. Pick a time when they can call their mother and they'd better tell her everything at that time or they have to wait til the next day to tell her the rest.
Don't speak to the mother about her treatment of the younger child. You'll never change her and it's not worth the fight it will cause.
2006-11-02 15:59:59 · answer #8 · answered by Kacky 7 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Put the phone up and only allow him to have it when necessary and let their mom know thats she is hurting the youngest by not talking to her. she needs to know the rules and the son has to be ok with him hes at your house not hers and he needs to follow your rules when hes there. tell her there is no reason she cant call your phone to talk to them or that they can call her with your phone maybe she isnt aware that its ok to call there or maybe she is uncomfortable try talking to her and see what happens. she may also not know that its not ok to give the boy a cell phone. good luck and God bless
2006-11-02 15:54:09 · answer #9 · answered by amberslilsis06 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
When the kids are at your house, you have every right to enforce your rules and if that means no cell phone, then the mother should respect that.
2006-11-02 15:53:59 · answer #10 · answered by Petri 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋