what should i do about the love of my life?

Question

I have been with the love of my life for 4 years, I am completely in love with him. We like all couples have had our ups and downs but have made it. Unfortunately recently his mother has stated clearly to him that she does not approve of me and doesn't under no circumstance want him to be with me, I'm trying to be understanding & to find a solution, but unfortunately I feel he's quite comfy with her dominance over him, she won't let him talk or see me. I see him once a week or every 2 weeks, he calls and texts me when he gets a chance. I am heartbroken now because its been like this for a month now, I luv him and respect his mom. The last time I saw him, he didn't seem so stressed out about the situation & just tells me he doesn't know what to do. I feel he's not as worried as I am.I been getting real sad it interferes with my everyday activites.how do i tell him how i feel and make him understand without disrespecting his family or making him feel sad or mad? what should i do? we're19

He told me that he doesn't care what she thinks and it doesn't bug him. but thats the problem that now im feeling pain cause nothing is being done to change, in what way can i tell him how i feel without placing more stress on the situation. i want to spend the rest of my days with him, but unfortunately, i don't how to place into words what i feel, how sad i feel.. i feel he's not doing anything.. he recently lost his job too. what should i say? =(

Also, i been very supportive and loving, im not arguing or bickering with him about it.. i feel like im not as important to him, i have no clue what to think anymore or do for that matter.. he tells me he loves me, but nothings happening, how can i motivate something to happen without getting into arguments..

Answer 1

just be honest and tell him how you feel, in a loving way. It's not his moms choice...it's his choice on who he wants to spend his life with. If he is 19 he should have the freedom to choose. But if ya'll cant see each other that much.... and its meant to be things WILL work out. Trust God...and in His destiny that He has for you.

Answer 2

Well, it's pretty clear.... There are two choices here... Either the parents butt out of his relationship with you as it is supposed to be HIS decision as it pertains to HIS life. You and he are 19.

You're not minors, you can move on. You can get married, etc.

What I would recommend to you is this... Ask him to determine exactly WHAT points she does not approve of you.

This may hurt. Usually critical comments do. However, criticism is supposed to be helpful. So ask him what points about YOU does his mother not approve of you.

If she doesn't throw in some good points about you, then she's just blowing smoke(this is for your information, don't tell him)...

She should say something like. "Don't get me wrong "Your Name" has some good points... She's intelligent, level headed... However, she's displaying this attributes that make me think she's a player and that you're going to get hurt."

This way, if it is some points that you can "correct" and therefore she would be more approving. Wouldn't that make for a mature relationship with HIS parents? You show that you're respecting them, but now listen if it's b.s.

My ex girlfriend's mother has a strong animosity against me because I don't make $1M a year. I asked her because her husband and daughter didn't have the guts to ask.. "What have I done?" So I asked. Her reply was, "You don't seem to have a plan for your life."

Well, who can plan the next 30 years when you can't predict what will happen to you 5 minutes from now? You can set goals.
However, sometimes goals get switched. Sometimes things happen that change your life from being able to meet those goals.

So for her to say that, it was B.S. She was not being honest with me. Her hidden agenda was that I was not making enough money to keep her able to brag that her daughter snagged a millionaire, doctor, lawyer, etc.

Take the hard step and find out the answers to some hard questions about what she doesn't approve of you. If there are things you can do. Then you have to ask yourself a hard question. Is this relationship with this guy worth it? Am I going to love him or does he love me... That I'll keep him the rest of my life. If you can't answer that question with a certainty. You may need to say, "Goodbye"

Answer 3

I hate to tell you this, girl, but that boyfriend of your is a big mama's boy. If he is not willing to stand up to his mama for you, then he is not willing to stand up to anyone or anything for you. His mama is just doing you a favor though, girl. You don't need no mama's boy, what you need is a man. So, be done with him, and move on. There are plenty more fish in the sea. Good luck to you, girl.

Answer 4

At 19, he should be man enough to tell his mom that you are his girl whatever she may think...He needs to man up if he loves you the way you say he does...If really does, he will be with you and not his mother...If that dont work, you need to find a real man who will put you first...Remember the movie "Waterboy"??

Answer 5

Talk to him and find out what it is about that his mother does not like. If you think it would be worth changing or trying to correct it, go for it. If not forget him. You will never be happy with him if his monther doesn't like you.

Answer 6

If he's not fighting to be with you then you shoulc consider moving on. A relationship goes two ways. It's NEVER a one way street.

Answer 7

ok thn. u got urself a moma's boy.
Maybe u should just sit down with him and his mom and just talk. try to improve ur relationship with the mom

Answer 8

**** HIS MOM YOU GUYS ARE ADULTS HE CAN MOVE OUT.