How do u get a 14 year old to listen?

Question

my 14 year old daughter made her own yahoo id and added a woman friend just a friend and from my list on to her list and she was wondering y she was not coming into the chat rooms and she told her she has seen other kids her age lie about their age just so they can go into the rooms then my daughter made a new id and lyed about her age and now she can go into the chat rooms and me and her mother ( my wife) told her to stop going into those rooms she like to go into the rooms just so she can talk to other parents cuz she has a kid of her own and the kid is only 3 months old and she is not listening to us she is still going into the rooms is there anyway to get her to stop and get her to listen?

oh and she is living at my wifes hide out with the baby my wife wanted to kick her out after hearing she was pregnant and its just a little collage.

Answer 1

It sounds to me like she is trying to look for help on being a mother and support and the reason she is lying about her age is because maybe she is ashamed or embarassed.

She is a 14 year old mother, she is a kid herself and that is scary. I got pregnant at 16 and never had I been more scared in my life.

You should suggest justmommies.com to her, it is a mommy forum with dozens of diffrent forums and they do have a teen pregnancy and teen moms forums, she can interact with both teen moms and adult moms.

Answer 2

I would say that you should sit down with her and talk. Not just about the internet but everything. Clear the air. Communication is key. I have 13 & 15 year old children. Because my parents spent more time trying to tell me what to do and rarely discussed anything with me, I went behind their backs and did what I wanted. So I decided that with my kids I would be as open as possible, especially considering the things that go on in the world today.

Not only do I let them know how I feel about the things they are dealing with and want to do, I also make a point to listen to how they feel on these subjects. I give pros and cons for the things I don't want them to do. That way they don't think I'm just trying to stop them from having fun.

Trust me having an open relationship with your child is key in helping her and always remember. If you want to know what's going on in her mind sometimes you will have to let her tell you things that will make you want to strangle her.

If I don't like what my child has to say I don't respond at that time. I wait until I get my emotions in check then I concentrate on how to reach them.

At 14 it will be hard to make her do anything she doesn't want to do. You will have to find a way to deal with her on a higher level so you will be able to reach her and help her to change her decisions to the right one.

In the meantime, take away her computer privilages.

Answer 3

Seems like she's searching for advice on how to raise her own child properly. Motherhood is a scary thing for a 14 yr old. She hasn't completed her OWN childhood and now......she has one that's dependent on her??
She wants someone to talk to and she NEEDS someone to listen to her.
Perhaps you do already but.....maybe if you and your wife would set aside some time regularly to listen to the things that are important and troubling to your daughter...she might stop her search for a listening ear in chat rooms. Having a set of experienced parents right at home for her to get advice from can't be beat.

Answer 4

Are you kidding? She think's that now she has a child of her own she is 'old' enough to do as she pleases. You need to try and get some control back. Make her understand that although having a baby is an 'adult' situation, lying about herself to use adult chatrooms is basically immature and what a child would do. Although from what you say it sounds as if you long ago lost the ability to 'reason' with the little demon. Good luck, you'll need it!

Answer 5

OMG.. lol.. Alls I can say is "thank God" my daughters are raised. I was a single father raising my oldest.. One night I came home from work .. She had pink hair .. I said no way .. get rid of the pink (Big Argument) OK come home the next night. Her hair has blue.. Now what.. (Big Argument) She says.. "You said no pink hair!!" It's a no win at that age. Take the computer away!!

Answer 6

she has a 3 month old and she's 14! you have serious problems!

this is YOUR FAULT for allowing her to keep the kid.

kick her butt to the curb with the little bstrd child. she won't be on the computer.

maybe you should have done something a LONG time ago. like be a PARENT.

Answer 7

your daughter, sry to say. is a whore, shes way past fixing, dr.phil cant help u, even therapy only lasts a short while, while the msg is still in their brain, but then its back to the same behaviour, i bet she doesnt know who the father is, tell me i'm wrong for your sake! i'm not ami, there we go, point made, kick her out of the house, disown her, and dont let any one make you feel guilty about it, because its not your fault, you have no control over your kids, dont listen to dr. phil, yes you do bullcrap! they're at sschool more than with you, or watching tv, whos raising them? not you, so why would she listen to you, she wont. just let her be, and forget about her, you have enough problems, if this cause fights in the family stop! your wife is more important then trying to discipline a 14 yr old girl whos way out of control. dont get a divorce on her acount, why ruin yourself, forget about her!

Answer 8

Seems that you have more serious problems than a 14 yr old who lies her way into chatrooms. Communication is the key, there are no quick fixes. Try speaking to her rather than at her.

Answer 9

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Answer 10

It's too late. I suspect your daughter has been running your life for a long time, and she's not going to stop now, especially if you have to post a question on this problem. The obvious answer is to pull the plug on the computer, but if you can't figure that out, there's just no hope. Sorry.