Should a guest bring their children to a baby shower without asking? And how to handle it now?

Question

My cousin is having a baby shower next weekend. A friend of hers informed us that she is bringing three very young children. The invitation didn't say NOT to bring children, but I thought it was understood that people shouldn't unless they ask first. This woman just announced she'd be bringing kids. How should we handle this? This house isn't equipped for young children, and has a lot of breakable stuff in it. Should the woman be informed not to bring her kids (feels rude, but it could really be a problem at the shower). Or just let it go?

Answer 1

Tell the woman that the person who is having the shower was not expecting small children to be attending and to please make other arrangements. I never have been to or hosted a baby shower where young children attended. From reading some of these answers, these are the people who show up with their children in tow. Not everyone enjoys your children at gatherings like this. It is very stressful for everyone that attends.

Answer 2

Wow, this is a sticky situation indeed. I have a small child and she stays with me all the time. But if I were invited to this kind of party I would probably have to figure out some child care or simply not show up. But now she has made it clear that she doesn't intend to do either. This is tricky because the person invited could be a family member or someone of significant importance to the mommy to be. So the best thing to do would be to ask mommy to be what she thinks about this and how important this person really is to her as you don't want to offend anyone or create problems for her in the future. If she is a very important guest then simply find someone to babysit the children in a separate room of the house away from the party. Let an adult or teenager sit with them in the den or somewhere and watch Disney movies with popcorn or something but I would MOST definitely NOT give the mom of three any space to allow her kids to be in an adult party. This is a universal rule of ettiquette. But I would not call and tell her to find child care as it would be rude at this point and the invitation didn't really specifically say ladies only. Good luck to you and your party.

Answer 3

I've been to baby showers where children were present. You guys should have written in the invite that it was an adults only affair. Those with children need to make arrangements for them. The woman is being too forward informing you that she's bringing her children to the shower without seeing if that was ok. If the people giving the shower don't want children they need to make that clear to invites. Some people don't adhere to etiquette when events are given. They also don't read between the lines. Especially the woman who didn't bother to ask first. You shouldn't have to let it go. Inform the woman she needs to make plans for the kids. If she doesn't like it well too bad.

Answer 4

You or whoever is the "official" hostess for the shower should call the woman and tell her there are no provisions for children at the shower and you are concerned about their welfare and safety as well as being concerned that they will disrupt the shower. The emphasis should be on the mother-to-be, not on three small (and undoubtedly lively) children in a place that is not equipped for them.

Be prepared for the woman to get hostile. Some people are just that way. But be firm - if she is truly a friend of the mother-to-be, she will understand. If she doesn't, you don't really need her at the party, anyway.

Answer 5

Quite simply ask this woman to respect the wishes of both your cousin and the homeowner. It is unfair this woman just expects her children will be welcome, when the invitation states otherwise.

You can speak to her in a friendly but firm manner, and ask for her understanding. Also explain the celebration of the baby shower will not be quite the same as the children ~ and three at that ~ could be a possible distraction to her, your cousin and the other guests. And keep in mind other guests may have made alternative arrangements for their children and might question why this woman has been the exception to the rule. Another potential problem nobody wants to see arise.

Just be strong and diplomatic. This is not being rude, you are stating what is required and ultimately, if this woman will not comply, then ask her not to attend. I know this can be difficult but why placate her personal (and selfish) needs over the joy of your cousin's special occasion.

Answer 6

Yes, it should be mentioned, the host should not have to childproof her house for the children. Ask the Mom to find a babysitter. And if she can't, oh, well, she will have to miss the shower. If it is a really good friend, who will be missed, offer to find a babysitter for her, so she can attend. Surely someone has a relative who babysits. And offer to pay, since that may be the problem. And there may be some situation at her home that you are not aware of, like an impending divorce, or an abuse situation.
Been here, done that several times. A co-worker always brought her unruly children to every work and non-work party. And my best friend told me point blank once that she expected me to childproof my house for a visit from her and her grandchild, and yes, I have the china and crystal kind of house. No way. She brought the dog once, who promptly wiped his butt on my carpet. I do not have pets. She brought her own child once, who climbed up on the sofa to reach for an ornament on the tree. Instead of getting her, she chastized me for having a tree with collector's ornaments on it. It was two decades before she came back to my house at Xmas, and without children in tow. I still have that ornament. I cherish it above all others. It survived the flood of '93, and years of my packing and unpacking it.
Good luck.

Answer 7

If this is your house, it is your rules.
Out of common courtesy, you should never invite your children along without the proper permission. Babysitters do exist, as well as very adequate daycare centres. I would kindly contact this friend of your cousins, and gently inform her that this is a "woman's day" to celebrate a baby shower - adults only. Be polite about it, if she is understanding - great, if not, then that's just too bad.

Good luck!

Answer 8

People who are absorbed in the wonder of their own offspring forget that babies & kids are NEVER expected, unless specifically invited.

Because this woman is oblivious to common basic manners, you will have to drop a bit to her level: tell her that the house is full of dangerous items, and the little darlings might get hurt.

So long as you keep the welfare of her children at the heart of the objection, it will not seem rude.

If she says something that excuses the children ("Oh, MY kids are NEVER any trouble,"), you will have to tell her that this is an adult gathering, and, unfortunately, you have not arranged for a babysitter. Repeat as necessary until she gets it.

Answer 9

properly, i'm hoping human beings does no longer ensue with alcohol, that's no longer probably a huge eating journey, pirate topic or no longer, if the guy the occasion is thrown for does not drink, (or would be unable to, what ever the case could be) you will assume human beings would anticipate an alcohol unfastened occasion. At my toddler bathe my mom served Champagne, we had a take a seat luncheon, yet i'd by no potential wager some one would stop on the liquor keep on a thank you to a new child bathe, lol! in basic terms contain it on your invites, that's no longer rude, it is your bathe and your needs, and that i think of all and sundry who cares adequate approximately you to be at your toddler bathe, would have not any subject following your needs!

Answer 10

You have to tell her to find a sitter or not come. Baby showers are not for children. How can you enjoy the party worrying about kids breaking things. Much less trying to entertain them when the party is not for them. What must be done must be done.