Bible funnies:
Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married?
A. Ruthless.
Q. What do they call pastors in Germany?
A. German Shepherds.
Q. Who was the greatest Financier in the Bible?
A. Noah. He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.
Q. Who was the greatest female financier in the Bible?
A. Pharaoh's daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet.
Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in fury. David's Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.
Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.
Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home.
Q. Which servant of God was the most flagrant lawbreaker in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once.
Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan. The banks were always overflowing.
Q. Who is the greatest baby sitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.
Q. Which Bible character had no parents?
A. Joshua, son of Nun.
Q. Why didn't they play cards on the Ark?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck. (Groannn...)
PS... Did you know it's wrong for a woman to make coffee?
Yup, it's in the Bible. It says . . . "Hebrews"
2006-11-02 14:47:35 · 24 answers · asked by basscatcher 4 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Thanks! I needed that.
It's great to know that there are still good jokes out there that I would tell around my children and not be embarassed about.
2006-11-03 05:46:00 · answer #1 · answered by teachingpk2008 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nice, never seen it before, will give you a clean joke
Moses, Jesus, and another guy were out playing golf one day.
Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. It landed in the
fairway but rolled directly toward a water trap. Quickly Moses raised
his club, the water parted and it rolled to the other side, safe and sound.
Next, Jesus strolled up to the tee and hit a nice long one directly
toward the same water trap. It landed directly in the center of the pond
and kind of hovered over the water. Jesus casually walked out on the
pond and chipped it up onto the green.
The third guy got up and sort of randomly whacked the ball. It headed
out over the fence and into on-coming traffic on a nearby street. It
bounced off a truck and hit a nearby tree. From there it bounced onto
the roof of a nearby shack and rolled down into the gutter, down the
downspout, out onto the fairway and right toward the same pond. On the
way to the pond, it hit a little stone and bounced out o ver the water,
onto a lily pad where it rested quietly. Suddenly, a very large bullfrog
jumped up on the lily pad and snatched the ball into his mouth. Just
then, an eagle swooped down and grabbed the frog and flew away. As they
pass over the green, the frog squealed with fright and dropped the ball,
which bounced right into the hole for a beautiful hole in one.
Moses turned to Jesus and said, "I hate playing with your Dad.
2006-11-02 16:54:11 · answer #2 · answered by BJ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I liked the one about the excuse Adam gave his children and about Moses breaking the commandments!!
2006-11-02 14:53:35 · answer #3 · answered by huh? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Q: Who was the shortest man in the Bible?
A: It was thought that it was Knee-high-miah, but it really is Peter - you see, he slept on his watch.
Q. Where did Noah keep his bees?
A. In the ark-hives.
2006-11-02 16:00:21 · answer #4 · answered by carson123 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cute!
2006-11-02 14:50:28 · answer #5 · answered by onethess29 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
there funny but cute.I'm glad i read them i never heard christian jokes that were funny.just sick jokes about Christians.thanks for the jokes
2006-11-02 15:06:53 · answer #6 · answered by bassetluv 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bible jokes are funny.
I'm not religious, but I still find it funny.
2006-11-02 14:50:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Very cute! Funny!!
2006-11-02 14:49:46 · answer #8 · answered by Juliart 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the only one i liked was the one about noah
2006-11-02 14:50:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had not heard the Honda joke. Now watch them use that for a commercial. Thanks for a few smiles :)
2006-11-02 14:56:02 · answer #10 · answered by Cookie777 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋