My fiance and I have been together for 3 years and have been living together for the past 4 or so months. We are currently planning our wedding for next March. When we first started dating, we discussed moving out west and he was all for this. I had a job offer this past spring, but he was unable to find a position, so we decided to wait a little while longer. More recently though, when I bring it up, he is kind of veering away for the idea and I don't know what to do. He has known from the beginning how I felt about where we currently live and he said he felt the same way. Recently though I'm not sure what to do because I'm afraid if I stay with him, I'll end up being 'stuck' here. He claims that won't happen, but I just don't know. Any ideas???
2006-11-02 11:23:08 · 15 answers · asked by nickal214 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Get a prenuptial stating your and his intention of going out west. Problem is, you two moved in with each other before marriage. So now it is not special anymore. It's drugery that you both fear will increase. If you had waited the drugery would not come forth in a way to bother you. It would have been teamwork. Now it is every man or woman for themselves. Sorry, but you are not going to get married.
2006-11-02 11:27:34 · answer #1 · answered by ALWAYS GOTTA KNOW 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you really love this guy? I mean seriously? Is living somewhere else w/o the person you love better than staying with the person you love in a place you hate? You never know which way the wind may blow. Planning a wedding and moving are huge things to do at once. If you would rather break up with your fiancee b/c he doesn't want to move than be "stuck" where you currently reside you should do it now... Why don't you wait til after the wedding and give it a few months to move?
2006-11-02 11:35:05 · answer #2 · answered by joanna1_84 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk it out. I know you might not be sure about it, no one is when it comes to issues. But if you are gonna split you will see how bad you'll feel...i mean come on 3 years! Don't hesitate provoke him to have a "TALK" with you, tell him how you feel about all this, if he starts screaming or anything, don't scream back, he might be stressed....the wedding is in March! Just calmly tell him to calm down, and just explain everything you feel and think, and then see if he opens up and tells you what's the deal.
Good Luck :P
2006-11-02 11:29:08 · answer #3 · answered by BloodyLicious:P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to do what you feel is best.
In my opinion your fear of being stuck has a foundation but you may find that he is scared things will change if you leave. Maybe someone else has been putting a word in his ear that is creating doubt.
Best thing to do is talk to him and then determine what you want to do.
Too often as women we tend to give up on our dreams and then regret it years later. I don't want you to be a woman who makes her children feel bad for being born because she didn't achieve her dream
Whatever you do don't issue an ultimatum that forces him into a corner; decide what you want to do and then let him decide what he wants to do
2006-11-02 11:37:06 · answer #4 · answered by msijg 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try and be sympathetic to his position, he may not want to rush into a move somewhere and be unemployed. 3 years is not an eternity,but you both have time invested in this relationship. but if in your heart you feel that your future would be better served out west you may have to cut loose and break free.
2006-11-02 11:32:08 · answer #5 · answered by william w 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi! The important question you must do to yourself is: do you love him enough to continue? because if you don't both of you are going to be miserable. You don't feel sure about him anymore but why? There's have to be a lot of communication, talk about it again... if you love each other, there's going to be an understanding between you two.
2006-11-02 11:29:59 · answer #6 · answered by pinkblush 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if you talk to him deeply and really love him then you will work it out. I think he's scared to leave because he wants to wear the pants in the relationship and because you have offers and he doesn't. I don't know this is a tough one
2006-11-02 11:27:02 · answer #7 · answered by Destinee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
communicate...communicate, if he doesnt want to talk at a certain time, try another time...tell him exactly how u feel and what your fears are, i feel that he doesnt want to move out of there...tell him that it is important for you as u have discussed before...that is a minor problem..not like cheating or alcoholism or drug addiction...so just talk about it and if u strongly love each other..u can resolve it
2006-11-02 11:26:26 · answer #8 · answered by ♦cat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him I am going to go out west and find work either do the same or its bye bye.
2006-11-02 11:24:51 · answer #9 · answered by Biker 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
waz up,and love eachother 4 eva
2006-11-02 11:25:51 · answer #10 · answered by troyluva80 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋