Six year old ......HELP!!!!!!!!1?

Question

I am not sure where to start. My son is six yrs old and in 1st grade. We have been having behavior problems for the last year or so. He does not do anything mean or hateful he just does not follow directions and is a class clown, not to mention he talks non stop. I have been very concerend and have talked to his teachers several times, she has reassured me he will grow out of it. I have noticed things have gotten progressively worse and still his teacher reassures me he's fine. She says he does his work and is extremely bright. The problem is out of no where today I get a note from the teacher saying my son has held siscors up to another childs throat. I am beside myself. I have taken away every toy and put him to bed early. I don't know what to do or where this came from. I know he has no clue about how badly he could have hurt the child and now I am scared. He is so easy going and fun loving I don't know what happened. Please only serious responses.
Where do I go from here?

I have been to his class and a few children are so mean to him. They literally follow him around knocking him over and pushing him just plain being mean. I tell him to tell the teacher but again he is six and often forgets so when he retaliates he is often the one to get in trouble. Not an excuse just a little more background.

Answer 1

my sister is the same way! same age and same grade, well you culd be more deciplanary, b/c he knos ur weak thats y hes doing it, u culd get sum guidence too

Answer 2

Are you sure you're not talking about my son? LOL! My son is 6 also, and I have the EXACT same problems with him. He is the sweetest kid, but also easily influenced by others. I have tried to discuss with him how to be a leader, not a follower. It hasn't worked yet though. I'm frustrated because I think it might actually be affecting his learning. I think a lot of boys tend to get aggressive, so the scissors thing could have been from a show, t.v., etc. All boys love swords, guns, and anything that blows up. That's natural, but I would suggest having a very serious conversation with him about it without getting mad. If he sees a rise out of you, he will want to do it again. When I speak to my son in a more mature manner, he usually responds with remorse, and understanding of what he did. I have gone so far as to ask his teacher to move my son into a location in the classroom where he wasn't near other children. I know it's exclusion, but my their education is important as well as learning how to follow directions. He also may not be challenged enough at school. That causes boredom, and rebellion. These are just some thoughts, but really, I'm in the same boat as you. I could use the other answers you recieve for guidance. Thanks for asking this question. I thought I was alone in this problem. I love my son, and I know you do to. You will find whatever is the right thing for you to do. Good luck sweetie! You can e-mail me if you ever want to talk about it.

Answer 3

He might be attention deficit and, or he might be bored. By not following the directions, he is seeking a new means of entertaining himself - testing out the waters because he already knows what happens when he follows the directions. Perhaps he is bored by his lessons and just wants to find something else to do. I remember in first grade I would get bored and consequently would act out. My parents realized my school wasn't meeting my needs and I was homeschooled for 1 year, allowing me to move at an accelerated pace. After that, I was placed into a special program that gave me more intellectual and creative freedom in a school and was much happier. It might be an issue like that.

It might also be a medical issue. Case in point, there is a child I have taught that has aspbergers and he does not follow directions at all. One thing I noticed that worked in the classroom (informal setting) was when he started running around not listening to directions and making animal noises, I said to all of the children, everyone run around like dinosaurs! It threw him off so completely he stopped and watched everyone for a few seconds, and when I said, everyone back to their seats! he returned like everyone else. He needs the monotony broken up and to stop hearing scolding. It is possible that his teacher is not sure how to deal with it. It might be a medical issue, it might be because he is simply bored. Explore an advanced program for him. Try doing advanced lessons with him at home and see how he responds to it. Do not assume he is going to grow out of whatever his problem is. I would seek medical help and ask what his doctor recommends, perhaps a psychologist or something like that. It might even be a medical issue.

In terms of your son seeming to be bullied, children like having control and perhaps see your son's problem with directions, etc as a weakness and choose to exploit it. If the teacher isn't taking appropriate action, speak to someone with higher authority. With the scissors deal, children have a hard time reasoning. Someone might have said something to upset him and he didn't know how to express himself in words, so he responded in a way he knew how, physically. What your teacher needs to do is address a matter like that instantly not by scolding, but by taking the two children aside and saying to your son first, X, you seem upset since you pointed those scissors at Y. Why are you upset? Have him take a few deep breaths. Let him explain uninterupted. Then say to Y, did you do those things that X said? Why do you think this upset him? Have the child explain. Addressing them by not raising voices will be helpful because it will help the children calm down. The classroom your son is in might not be conducive to his issues. Explore other options. Especially if he is easy going and fun loving, he probably doesn't realize or fully understand the implication of his actions. Even if he does, he might not have known how to express himself, which is why he resorted to the act that he did. Punishing him completely might not be the right solution because it isn't clarifying the situation for him. Give him a piece of paper and some crayons and have him draw what happened. Then, with the picture, sit down and talk to him, ask him what happened and why he was so upset and stay calm yourself. When he is done telling you, ask him why he used the scissors. He probably won't know, and that's okay. Don't feed him suggestions. Talk about other things he could do instead.

Answer 4

It sounds like you may be a bit tense and that this is rubbing off on him. Are you and his father together/married?

I would ask the teacher, and perhaps also the school social worker or school psychologist, for advice. Good quality 1:1 attention, time with his dad, and an incentive plan that says if you don't get any phone calls about bad behavior he'll get a reward of some kind.

Listen to the teacher. Don't overreact. That makes kids feel insecure. It's appropriate to be serious about this, but don't act scared out of your mind by this behavior because he'll know he's got you.

After what you added, I'd also consider some organized social activity, preferably nonviolent (if it's sports, watch it). Spend time with him. Listen to the things he says. Focus on what he feels and what other people feel.

Answer 5

well the toy taking away is not working....maybe the stress that he is going through in school is effecting him and the aggressiveness is the only way he knows how to deal with it right now. He needs to find other ways to deal with the frustrations that he is feeling due to the actions of the other children. Someone else said counseling...it is a good idea. it can give him tools to use for the future. and yes. the talking may be something he grows out of. My son was talking alot in the 1st, and less with each grade. But he wasn't getting his work done....your son is. My son did grow out of the talking. That is just one example but something to hope for. Like I said (it is really sappy) but he does need the emotional tools to be able to handle the complex emotions he is feeling. good luck.

mother of 2 with one on the way.

Answer 6

He is a six year old boy, acting like a six year old boy. Don't blow a singular incident into something major. This nation in obsessed with raising a generation of steppford children. Boys are rambunctious, jumpy, and like to roughhouse. These traits should be encouraged, not repressed. He probably would benefit from after school classes involving physical activity such asTae Kwon Do or Karate.

Answer 7

You and the teacher need to make a behavior plan that will work for school and you could carry through with it at home. He needs to learn how to deal with the children who are being mean to him. You can make an appointment with the school's councilor. That person should give you some ideas.

Answer 8

talking nonstop and some of the behavior you described is often associated with ADD or ADHD. My son had the same problems. at daycare he just turned and started choking a child. and he talked nonstop. talk to your childs doctor about having him tested for ADHD or ADD. There are a lot of newer drugs out there other than ridelin that work really great. (my son takes Strattera once a day and it helps a lot.)

Children with ADD or ADHD are very bright kids it's just that they can't focus very well so they act out instead.

Answer 9

I work with special needs kids. I'm not saying your son has special needs but stuff like this can happen to anyone. It is a good thing you are being proactive. I reccomend these books... The Incredible 5 point scale by Kari Buron Dunn, and How does your engine run by Mary Williams. These books help children learn how to regulate their behavior. You can clearly help them to learn how to manage their behavior from how to rev up when they are running low or how to calm down when they are really wound up. It sounds like your son has some problems regulating his behavior but it also sounds like he is capable of learning how to monitor himself. Don't hesitate to call a meeting with his teacher. Be proactive. Schools have programs to help with these situations. Don't worry about any type of label, just focus on getting him the support he needs to be a productive and happy student. You might also want to look into social skills training. He might need to be taught how to deal with bullies. If other kids are being mean, the teacher and school staff need to get involved. Remember sometimes punishment is necessary, but sometimes we need to teach a child how to behave, make sure they understand, then hold them accountable for aggressive behavior. Bullying is not okay...call a meeting. Good luck!

Answer 10

go to the school board. don't bother with the teacher or principal at the school. they don't want the bad publicity so they will sweep it under the rug.
let the school board understand that the kids who have gone into schools with guns to shoot people have been the 'picked on' kids and if the school doesn't want to do anything about it (because you can't do anything about what happens at school) THEY will be responsible for him killing children.

this is not your fault. this is the schools FAULT AND PROBLEM.

tell that teacher if she is not part of the solution she's part of the problem. if she can't do her job, she shouldn't be there. she should quit.


jeff, i can do what i want , when i want. i'm a grown adult. YOU don't get tell me what to do. she said the kid is having a problem at school . the question was not about what to do AT HOME. she's complaining about what happens at the SCHOOL. to me, this means there's a problem THERE - not at HOME.
SCHOOLS NEED TO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE CHILDREN WHEN IN SCHOOL. the parents can't (not allowed) to do anything at the school about other peoples' children.

Answer 11

ask his teacher for a meeting take him and you both ask him if he is haveing and prob with other kids. see if he will tell and make his teatcher know what you seen and ask her or him to keep an eye out . kids try to deal with things on there own and that is good but sometimes we all need help with things my girl is a very out spoken chid if someone hurts her feeling she lets it be known but not all are that open they hold things in and that is very bad it builds up until the top blows they dont know how to deal with the problem at hand . you can ask him evey day what happend at school and if he does open up to you try to help he fix things that went wrong so he will know how the right way to deal latter.good luck and god bless