My wife and i were thinking of experimenting and going to some clubs advertised on the internet, but im a little unsure of what to expect are we expected to participate, can we just dip our toes in the water and see if we like it so to speak, what will happen upon arrival? are they full of seedy guys or genuine people?
2006-11-02 10:57:16 · 3 answers · asked by piesbestandfairest 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Every club is different and can vary widely depending on which club you choose to go to and where it's located. Some of them can be as nice and upscale as a posh Manhattan night club, others can be as seedy as a dive bar in the bad part of town. Just do your research on the club before you decide to go.
As for the just 'dipping your toes in the water', absolutely. One of the HUGE rules about swinging is that NO MEANS NO. If anything starts to happen that you don't want, you have every right to say no and walk away. If they don't listen, the manager should be able to help you. If the manager doesn't help, leave the club because it's not a good place.
As for the seedy guys, check the rules of the club before you go. Several clubs have rules against single guys being allowed in. Some only allow a certain quota, others allow them only on particular nights, others not at all. So check out the website of the club and is should help you.
If you have any other questions, please feel free to IM us or email us. We'd be happy to help you. We were there at one point too and we really enjoy helping others who are new to the whole thing.
B & B
2006-11-04 04:30:34 · answer #1 · answered by B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
they run the gauntlet my friend. some are gross and seedy full of guys who swarm like cockroaches at the first hint of female flesh. you need to check out the club, either in person or online, see how reputeable they are, what they offer, how clean they are etc. most of the ones my g/f and I have been to were very upscale and friendly, clean and loads of fun. there are no expectations when you walk through the door, all they ask is that you keep an open mind, and remember that no means no. it's as simple as that. you can sit and watch or join in when the time is right for you. good luck
2006-11-04 19:27:59 · answer #2 · answered by burnttoast97 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on the club, but if you're attending one of the more reputable clubs, the behaviour of the people in the club are definitely better (IMO) than the behaviour of people in "vanilla" clubs/bars. Vanilla just means "normal", "mainstream", or "non-swinger". The only difference is that the crowd tends to be more middle-aged (again, depends on the club), the people are friendlier, there's less drunkenness, and you'll find that personal space tends to shrink a little bit. People are still very polite, but when they talk to you, they might put their hand on your arm or lean in a little closer to talk to you. It's not sleazy, it's just different. Just put off the body language that you are uncomfortable with others invading your space, and you will be respected.
Occasionally there are idiots out there who think that, because it's a swinger's club, it's okay to just walk up to someone and grab at their ass or crotch or boobs. That is NOT okay! It is not something that you have to put up with, and it should be reported to the bouncers or to management. Anyone who misbehaves this way runs the risk of being tossed out of the club, and possibly being black-listed at other clubs as well, depending on the behaviour.
My husband and I had lots of fun at clubs. It's a good idea to try going to an off-premises club to start. These clubs don't allow actual intercourse (vaginal, anal or oral), but the atmosphere is erotic and playful. There may be less pressure to progress to more advanced play (ie: intercourse) if there simply isn't any opportunity. This is a good way to get out and just meet other swingers and see that they AREN'T a pack of wolves waiting to devour the newbies. But whether you choose on- or off-premises, club owners want you to come back. As newbies, you'll probably be interviewed to determine that no one is being dragged there against his/her will, and you'll be introduced to a "host couple" who can facilitate introductions to other couples. It's a good idea to show up early to get settled in, look around, and maybe meet some other "newbie" couples (who are usually advised to show up early). Newbies are sometimes identified by tags, wristbands or stickers of some sort; this lets other club regulars know so that they can welcome you and introduce themselves, after which time they often bugger off and leave you plenty of space. You won't be crowded.
So while you'll probably be really nervous at first, within 10 minutes, you'll be laughing at yourselves. Just stick together, don't play with other couples the first night out (just play with each other), and then come home and talk about what happened and what you liked/didn't like about it. Discuss any scary moments, jealous moments, exciting moments, etc. There's no need to do it all in one night. Go back again and push the envelope a little further next time if you're both so inclined. Just be sure to move at the pace of the least comfortable person and all will be well.
Good luck!
2006-11-04 18:12:34 · answer #3 · answered by intuition897 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋