She invited 80 friends and relatives, while here fiance invited 140 friends,relatives and family business associates.
2006-11-02 10:45:00 · 32 answers · asked by MICHAEL S 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Yes, you are wrong to be offended.
First of all, it's a very expensive party...I'm certain they have financial limitations on the number of people they can afford to feed.
Second, she's allowed to invite or not invite anyone she wants, considering that it's her wedding. She and her fiance (and possibly their parents, if they're contributing financially) are the only ones who's wishes should be taken into consideration when it comes to the guest list.
The fact that you know how many people have been invited from each side tells me that you already have your nose far too deep into her business. You need to take a step back, and let her plan her wedding in the manner that SHE deems appropriate.
If you want to have a party with 300 people, go ahead and have one...then you can invite whomever YOU want (sounds like fun, can I come?).
Meanwhile (according to Miss Manners), it's extremely rude of you do to anything other than gracefully RSVP.
2006-11-02 10:57:03 · answer #1 · answered by abfabmom1 7 · 10⤊ 1⤋
Alot of people cannot stand children and do not feel that anyone under age 18 belongs anywhere within 500 ft of a wedding. At the same time, those who may choose to have an adults only wedding will invite a flowergirl and/or select children of other guests. There is no way to find that out before the day of the wedding unfortunately and it is incredibly rude on the bride and groom's part.
Other couples can't imagine having a wedding without inviting kids. It's the couple's personal preference as to what they do, but they still need to keep their guests in mind. You have every right to be offended, the same as someone else the right to not be offended. Neither is right or wrong. You can always decline the invite if you wish.
2006-11-02 15:25:25 · answer #2 · answered by Cinnamon 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think you should be. I thought of having an "adults only" reception, but realized it would exclude too many of our out of town guests. I also had a fairly laid back reception, so it wasn't a big deal to have a few children running around.
Many couples are spending thousands on ultra formal receptions, so the idea of having rambuncious kids running around ruins the whole image. I can understand this. If you go and there are kids everywhere, then maybe you could be upset, but it could just be that people ignored her request for no children.
If it really bothers you, call your niece and ask if your children are welcome to attend or if it is "adults" only. When I sent out invites, I only addressed them to the parents, but it was a given that kids could come.
2006-11-02 11:38:54 · answer #3 · answered by Sativa 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well you have a right if there is going to be other kids there that are not in the wedding party.. or her nieces or nephews if any.... Well wedding are not cheap as everyone knows.. i asked people not to bring there kids because of the high cost to feed everyone.. but i had a party set up a week later for everyone to bring there kids and let them come and have fun and everything. We were not in our wedding attire but the kids did not care it was a wedding reception for them to come to.. some people said i was nuts but it was all home made food i was not paying 45 a plate and then the drinks for a kid to waste it.. know what i mean.. and we all know that kids like to get in the way like on the dance floor.. which i would not of minded at all because i love kids to death but it was just that one day that everything had to be perfect.. And if they do not have kids together then i can also see why not.. they do not realize how important it is to have them wonderful little people around!. But i would not get to offended right away.. If you show up and there is like 20 30 kids there then i would kindly tell her later THANKS ALOT!
2006-11-02 16:43:40 · answer #4 · answered by ~Mrs.C 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Depending on their age, don't be offended. I am not inviting children to my wedding. Notice I said MY wedding. Remember that, its not your wedding. You aren't paying for any of it...It is their choice for whatever their reason is. I do not mean this in a rude way, but we're in the middle of cutting our guest list. It's not an easy thing to do. I wish I could invite everyone, but money becomes a huge factor. So don't hold it against her and just enjoy the day!
2006-11-04 16:38:42 · answer #5 · answered by Sue A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please don't be offended, there are many reasons why they may not want children at the reception. That is a decision for only them to make, after all it is THEIR day! The fact that she did not invite as many people as he did, is also between them. Has she complained about it? It is, once again, their day. What you need to do is get a babysitter and have a great time at the wedding and the reception! Celebrate the day with them and have fun.
2006-11-02 14:09:56 · answer #6 · answered by dpbuck10 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would be offended if they were invited to the wedding but not the reception. If they wanted an adults-only wedding it should have been made clear in the invitation.
2006-11-02 16:08:47 · answer #7 · answered by americandream1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm currently planning my wedding, and I am not inviting any of my cousins who are under the age of 19 to my reception. There is going to be liquor, and it's just not the most appropriate place for children. I don't even want teenagers there. 19 is legal age to drink in Ontario, Canada. If I were in the states, isn't it 21 there? Then that would be the age I would stick to. Don't be offended, take it as a chance to go out and have a great night sans kids with your husband!! :) Get a hotel room and have a WONDERFUL night! :)
2006-11-02 12:22:52 · answer #8 · answered by Kass 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
It depends. If other children were invited, then yes you should be offended. If no children were included, then you shouldn't be. Eliminating children was a decision that they made, and it might be a decision that had nothing at all to do with the size of the guest list (perhaps they just don't want children around). Go and enjoy your night out!
2006-11-03 01:42:44 · answer #9 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They may be trying to have an adults-only reception. A lot of people do that for a variety of reasons, mainly cost. And you don't know how they structured their guest list. Maybe his parents are footing most of the bill and want a larger say in the guest list. Maybe its just a decision they made as a couple.
Now, if only you are singled out, then yes, I would be offended, but I would also want to know what the problem is so that maybe I could rectify the situation.
2006-11-02 10:52:52 · answer #10 · answered by ValentineP 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋