I have been seeing my GF for 2 months roughly, but we knew eachother in highschool ( over 9 years ago). Many things have happened to both of us, and we came together because of so many things that were similar with our previous relationships (marriage). We truly are a perfect fit for eachother, and I know many people just say that, but it is true. She is currently living with her parents due to some hard times, and I would like her to feel more comfortable and such. She is always saying how she feels like a kid again because of having to live at home. Kind of hard when we are both 27. I am just worried that if I ask her that she will not like it, and feel that I am trying to give her a "handout", when in fact we both love eachother, and can both see this relationship being a lasting one. Something we don't want to ruin. Any advice or thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
2006-11-02 10:18:01 · 7 answers · asked by bryp1979 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I would love nothing more than to be able to be there for her. As answered, yes I do understand that it is not right to move a child around alot. But also I understand how the father was to her, and I treat her daughter with as much love as I would my own. I know I am not her daughters father, but I can be a "figure" for her to admire and care for. Especially when you hear a 3 year old tell you they love you....It has a lasting impression and tons of meaning on a person.
2006-11-02 10:26:37 · update #1
Why don't you wait until you have a RING and are ready to marry her.
I am saying this because it is hard on the CHILD to be tossed from home to home. The kid needs stability, and until you BOTH KNOW this is a forever arrangement, the child should NOT be exposed to this situation just for your convenience.
2006-11-02 10:21:10 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's all up to the daughter, remember that. Invite them over for dinner, make sure everything is very very clean (call a maid service perhaps?) and make sure you have a good movie like "when harry met sally." That movie always works and is actually very good. Make sure you have something for the daughter to do because she won't really understand the movie. Perhaps she brings along a friend and they watch their own movie in another room. If you don't have another tv then get one of those cheap ones with the vcr built into it. Anyhow, after the movie start talking about security for the house and how you plan to upgrade it whether it be just a better lock on the door or even a security system....and then say "it's important to me for you two to be safe" and she'll say "what do you mean?" to which you reply "because after you move in here I'll want to know that you two are safe" .... Believe me, this WILL work. Women want two things from a man: honesty and security. good luck.
2006-11-02 18:26:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are using the excuse that she "feels like a kid" living with her parents. She is 27 and she is unable to make it on her own. Child support was ordered but he is probably not paying. She has a daughter who doesn't need the promise of another "daddy" only to see that one disappear too. G.F has problems and she hasn't told you the truth. You are going to regret this.
Also, you say "we are perfect" for one another. Why would you not have a ring and a date and then wait until you are married when this family thing will have much more meaning. Also, she is the bigger fool because you are going to learn things that will scare you off. And the child pays the price. Don't do this.
2006-11-02 19:07:30 · answer #3 · answered by ALWAYS GOTTA KNOW 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in that exact situation about a year ago with my boyfriend. This is my advice to you. Talk to her about it straight up. Tell her that you would really like her and her daughter to move in with you because you know this relatioship is right. Tell her if she has concerns regarding this that you will ask her again in two months. Don't just give her one option. She will appreciate that you didn't back her into a corner and that you will understand if she wants to wait. No pressure. Especially because there is a child involved. It show her that you have respect for her and her daughter and she will appreciate you more because you are thinking about her. I hope everything works for you.
2006-11-02 18:25:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
thats so special! i orginally was gonna say wait becuase it had only been 2 months but since you have known her since high school first ask yourself, can you support 3 people> if she falls off from the giving side, can you carry her and her daughter (you too), are you willing to give up all free space and freedom you have? are you willing to marry her in the future because now with a child involved, if things dont work out it is hard on her and she is atatched to you by then. do you have space for a child? how about her friends? make sure YOU are ready first and then when you are sure just tell her you love her and want to be able to spend more time with her and her daughter and she should move in with you.
2006-11-02 18:23:28 · answer #5 · answered by uiucsmith 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best thing to do is really share your heart with her. Open the diary of your heart. Tell her how its not just a short term relationship that your looking for. Let her know you want to build a solid foundation and you want her and everything she has, working together for a lifetime dream.
No need to plan the words just give her the truth from your heart. Best wishes
2006-11-02 18:29:56 · answer #6 · answered by M M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hello i am very sure her and her daughter would love to move with you just ask her shes waiting on that question.
2006-11-02 18:23:00 · answer #7 · answered by toffeecake@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋