I've been seeing this guy for almost a month and we get along great and have wonderful sex (we are both adults and consented to this kind of relationship). I really like him but am scared of getting serious. The other night he started bringing up the topic of moving toward a more serious relationship but I cut him off real quick, not wanting to discuss it. Now I can't tell what he's thinking. Since then I asked him to meet for some fast "naughty afternoon fun" -- something we've enjoyed before -- but he said no, he'd want more time together than that. So I felt a little rejected. Then he said he hopes we can get together soon though. I'm confused. Can anyone help me understand what he might be thinking?
2006-11-02 09:58:13 · 22 answers · asked by Teena 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I thnk he told you. He wants a relationship. It doesn't look like he wants to continue this no-strings-attached thing you have going, so you'll either have to explore this option with him, or move on.
2006-11-02 10:00:43 · answer #1 · answered by julz 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Your post is clear that you only seek relationship that is not serious, wonder why? If he is great and you both get along well what is the fear, you give me the impression that you fear something that you alone know. Perhaps he is serious with you but you have been clear that you seek only fun and not ready for serious relationship. What he is thinking is hard to say because non of us are wired to him to know what he is thinking. But based on the behavior he exhibits it is evident that you came out clear to him that you are not serious but just want some "afternoon fun". We all seek something in relationships and you both have been clear on your expectations. It is good you were honest to him about your unwillingness for a long term relationship. If not it is time you talk to him about your pace. Looks like his behavior really did bother you. Talk to him about how you feel. You alone can solve the confusion. I am sure you can!
2006-11-02 10:14:18 · answer #2 · answered by thachu5 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Teena: to you it was a romp in the "hay" but to him he wants you as a companion too. A man sometimes, does fall in love you know and doesn't want you to get your "rocks" off with no others but him. Teena ? ... Quit making HIM an object of your sexual gratification - you are hurting him !!! He is too proud to say this is the reason for the cold shoulder treatment. Are you one of those women, who goes around using guys for sex and whatever? I can't believe that this is a girl using a guy - usually (99%) of the time it's the guys using the woman [girl] !!! You are afraid of commitment - have you been hurt in a relationship before? You have to get over it and move on. Take this opportunity and give this guy a break ... it very well may be YOUR break in the long run of things.
2006-11-02 10:10:54 · answer #3 · answered by guraqt2me 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, interesting.. I read this a couple of times. The line "he said no, he'd want more time together than that" confuses me somewhat. You felt rejected.. this sounds like he didn't want you at all sexually right then... but the line he wanted time sounds like he wanted to like sit and talk afterwards? (See, even my question is confusing! lol.) LEt me see here.. I think he sounds like a smart fellah.. I mean by this he knew darn well that you were only like interested in satisfying sex.. (you are over 2l, so that's your call.. o.k. by me) He got that point, very evidently. NOW he is holding off as he DOES associate sex with love.. he is (er, was) falling in love with you! (how do you feel about that? ) You know what.. I think he sounds smart.. he might fall in love with you, too! I think you ought to reconsider this guy.. Give this some more thought, alright? Don't be confused.. (He is falling for you!) You sort of knew it (why you were confused.. ) Yeah, it's his 'protective devices' (of the 'heart') kicking in, my dear. (I think you oughta go for it!) g'luck
2006-11-02 10:04:01 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
if its been a regular "booty call" he is figuring that its a little more serious especially if u aren't "seeing" anyone else...
U know what that means he wants to take it to a more permanent status! If ur not feeling it u should of said so from jump so u could b on the same page... let him down easy and b prepared for some hurt feelings
2006-11-02 10:05:51 · answer #5 · answered by ~Niecee~ âË» âË» ♂ 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he said the words "get together," he probably means get together and talk. He wants more time with you, and he wants more than sex. Usually, it's the guy who wants just sex, and the woman who wants more. He's thinking he wants to know what your problem is with getting more serious.
2006-11-02 10:06:18 · answer #6 · answered by Sweet Pea 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Now that you cut him off,he is thinking that all you want is sex,he doesn't really care because now he knows that when he needs sex he can go get it with you,and if he finds somebody that will give him a relationship and sex he will leave you...
2006-11-02 10:03:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
it seem like he loves u am sure he think that u r not a special woman like he thought so if u don't want to move on just tell him before u hurt him and remember (one bird in ur hand better then ten on the tree )
2006-11-02 10:22:51 · answer #8 · answered by suma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you've turned the tables on him-and he can't deal-your the man (OK with just sex)-he's the woman (wanting the relationship)kind of thing-LOL-good for you!!! - Just about every guy I dated wanted to put a ring on my finger, since I was 15-so I applaud you!!! Have some fun for all of us, that never get to!
2006-11-02 10:11:09 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He feels he needs a serious relationship. He's the sensitive type, and it hurt his feelings that you don't want to move the relationship further, so he's the one who feels rejected.
2006-11-02 10:02:09 · answer #10 · answered by jazzmetalbassist 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋