I cut myself to release emotional pressure. I'm 31 now and when l was 9yrs old l was abused. Life has been?

Question

I just told my GP, he already assumed something happened but waited for me to say something. I feel l cannot trust people because of this ( I was abused by both male and female). My life has been ruined and l'm at a loss of how to move forward. Anyone else with similar experience?

Answer 1

Everything that has been said so far is amazing, so I won't elaborate much.
I was emotionally abused as a child, and at the ripe old age of 22 have experienced the spectrum of eating disorders, emotional problems and, of course, medications. As a function of my self-hatred, I began to cut myself a couple years ago. I have since stopped, but still have times where I struggle.

I used cutting as a way to 'come down' from a state of manic anxiety, panic or just emotional pain in general. I definitely recommend getting help through a psychiatrist/psychologist, and embarrassing as you may find it, reach out to anyone that you are close to so that you will have a support system in your time of need.

From my experience, I recommend that you try to take the feelings that push you to self-harm and express them another way, that mimics the release of cutting. This may seem silly to some people, but what worked for me was hitting inanimate objects... beating the crap out of my bed, tearing up magazines, etc. Although this does not completely satisfy the urge to cut, it can get out some of the excess adrenaline and frustration that may be fueling your urge in the first place. One other thing that worked for me was to imagine that it was my own child or someone I love who was cutting... to imagine the precious skin and flesh of someone else being mutilated and what a mockery it is of how amazing we are... try to think of your body as your shelter and a precious friend that you want to protect...

I hope this helps... I haven't cut in a long time, and I'm glad that I stopped (even though I still struggle with the same old demons). I look at my scars with a sense of sadness and protectiveness... as a reminder that destroying myself is not productive or beneficial.

And always know that you are loved :) Always.

Answer 2

Cutting yourself (as I'm sure you know) is just a coping mechanism so you need to research other avenues to let out your emotional pain. Until you find more productive ways to deal the pain, the past will haunt you. You move forward one day at a time. It's a journey.

You've got to get to the point where you can admit the past to yourself (and to others as well). The first mile marker you want to reach is communication. Talk about it without fearing that anybody is judging you for it. Until you get to that point of communication, you won't make it to the next place which is accepting it.

I have a GF who went through much abuse in her youth so I'm a bit of an outsider looking in (though I think I have a pretty good look in on things).

Remember, you're not at a loss. Your just emotionally tired and frustrated and you do have the strength to move forward because you've been strong enough to carry that weight for all these years! Yes, it's got you tired so little by little you need to let those chains drop. You will do good on that journey....I know.

Answer 3

The fact that we are living and breathing and able to do all these things. The fact that we are not rocks and some divine coincidence made use who we are instead of some inorganic atom. The fact we can give things worth. We can categorise. Its all beautiful, the sight, the sound, the feel, the emotion, the taste. Even pain. We can feel that not many other things can. Pain may be painful, but we can feel it just as we can feel happy. Its amazing really that out of all of this we can do these things. Although it seems to suck sometimes its still wonderful. random fact: if you shoot a rabbit, it doesnt know why it feels pain, it doesn't register that there is an explanation, it just knows it feels pain and as a reaction will run away, even if its dying. Shoot a human (even if they did not know what a gun was) it would realise its something launched, have some sort or knowledge of what to do and so on. I dont think this was relevant but its written now... But if youre looking for one reason it would definitely be pie.

Answer 4

There are many other ways of coping with your emotional pain than resorting to self destruction, since as they say, violence is never the answer, even when it is against yourself.

1st of all, you need to find some strong spiritual guidance from whatever religion you belong to.

I am a Christian myself, but I believe that all credible religions have much to offer for people like yourself to get your life back in your control.

Yeah my life has pretty much been ruined too since I have had depression and severe insomnia with it for almost a year and a half now, but I know that I can only get better with the grace of God and not by myself.

You can't undo the abuse you received, but you can overcome the effect it has on you.

Almost anything is better than cutting yourself, but think only of constructive actions in your situation, not destructive actions.

I have found in my own situation that exercise, good eating habits, and daily prayer are the 3 most beneficial actions I have made habits out of and if you do these 3 things you will start making progress in the right direction.

God bless you and save you.

Answer 5

Have you ever heard of Borderline Personality Disorder? A lot of people with it cut and have histories of abuse. Of course, that does not mean that is the problem here, but it might be worth doing a little research into. Feel free to contact me, I have a lot of links to really helpful websites. I'm 30 and have bpd, almongst other things and I can relate to what you are saying about life being ruined and unable to move forward. No matter what the cause, there is hope. Things can get better. Sometimes it's just hard to see which way to go, it feels like your spinning your wheels without getting any traction.

Answer 6

Yup. And yet I really wanted to trust people so that I could get the love that I (and everyone) desperately need and to share the love that I have to give.

I went through years of therapy. When I learned as much as I could from a therapist, I would then go to a therapist with a different approach.

For people like us, the Lord is really our only hope. He directs our paths to healing and becoming the whole person we are meant to be.

About cutting: when we feel strong uncomfortable emotions, we think that we just can't stand it and this adds anxiety to our other feelings and then cut ourselves for relief. This makes our EMOTIONAL pain become PHYSICAL and therefore easier to deal with. It makes us feel a sense of control that we did not have when we were being abused.

Finding alternative ways to deal with overwhelming emotions is crucial. What do other people do to comfort themselves or calm themselves when they are angry, lonely, sad, etc.?? Some people snuggle up with a favorite blanket, wear their favorite comfy clothes, listen to music, write in a journal, talk with a trusted friend. ALso helpful to go ahead and cry or yell or curse (without harming others) and ventilate your feelings. Exercise (not my favorite thing) helps get the stress and anger out.Take real gentle care of yourself as you would care for a precious child.

Talking to a therapist is a must. THey are supposed to be nonjudgemental and confidential (since you don't know whom you can trust yet). I would go to one the same sex as you. Groups for self-mutilators are very helpful IF they are truly wanting to recover and don't just sit around bragging about their self-mutilation. Many people with eating disorders also self-mutilate. YOu might look for a therapist/treatment center that specializes in eating disorders.

Most of all, don't feel ashamed. You are not weird. You are not alone. You belong in this world as much as any of us. You deserve to be loved. YOu can still get the love you need and you can still learn to trust and love others.

Now get going and have a great life!

Answer 7

I sympathize with you. I am 59. My mom and dad both beat me and verbally abused me. I have 4 kids and 7 grandchildren. I drink way too much and was recently just in the hospital for overdose of alcohol and prescribed drugs. My husband called 911. I was and still and am so embarressed. My parents were both alcoholics. Honey please get counciling privately. This has hung on all my life and affected my kids. I can only hope to be strong and prove to my kids otherwise. I have 4 sisters and we are all screwed up. There was also molestation involved. God bless and please talk to someone, I didnt til now and I have a long way to go.

Answer 8

Many people that I know cut themselves. It's not uncommon. Try talking to a therapist (not a psychiatrist.) Talking through the issues will lessen the emotional pain caused by them, allowing you to move forward and deal with them in a way that is comfortable to you (I'm guessing that you're fed up with cutting.)

Answer 9

I'm an RN who has specialized in Mental Health and has taught Nursing for over 20 years. I am sorry for your abuse as a young child and for the dysfunctional effect it has had on your life. Although you could not trust the people that should have loved you unconditionally, protected you, and met all of your needs, please do not close yourself off from other people who genuinely do care about you. I congratulate you for reaching out to your general practioner as well as to sharing your emotional pain with this website. I specialized in Child and Adolescent Psychiatry and can appreciate your feeling that your life has been ruined and that you are at a loss of how to move forward. That is a common response to your emotional pain as is your desire to cut yourself to release the emotional pressure. The good news is that your life is not totally ruined and that with professional help you can learn to trust people again. This is not something that you can "fix" yourself or you would have done it by now. You need to understand and believe that the abuse was not your fault and that you did nothing to deserve it. You are a child of God who is loved just the way you are. Sometimes life isn't fair and things happen to children that are wrong and create a tremendous emotional scar that without professional help will remain with them for the remainder of their lives. The good news is that there are lots of professional people who are specially trained to teach you how to trust again and to help you to release your emotional pain through therapeutic measures and become the positive, successful person you were always meant to be. I understand that you don't know how to move forward by yourself but there are professionals who are willing to show you the way as well as help you rebuild your selfconfidence and courage. At 31 your life is just beginning and you owe it to yourself to put these memories of abuse behind you. At this point in your life it is not the time to share your pain with others who are experiencing similar abusive pain. Please follow your heart and reach out to professionals who know how to help you to deal with your emotoinal pain in therapeutic ways. You might start by asking your GP to refer you for professional counseling. If you find it difficult to bond with this person then get another referral. You have the right to work with someone you feel comfortable with and someone with whom you can selfdisclose the details of your abuse and related emotional pain. I wish I could give you a hug and let you know that I care deeply for you and want your emotional pain to be healed so that you are free to experience joy in the remainder of your life. If it were not possible I would have told you so. May God bless you as you progress on your journey of healing. You so deserve it!

Answer 10

You need to see a therapist to deal with these traumatic events.
You can work through your feelings and begin to trust others it just takes time. Goode luck