Why do people have children if they are going to always be in a day care center or babysat?

Question

Mon-Fri and sometimes Satuday I was pretty much always in a day care center or dozens of different babysitters. I was raised by many people accept my own mother who was too busy worrying about her career when she didn't need to work. I wished I could have had somebody more permanent in my life. Not that I am blaming as I am an adult now, but really, why have kids if you are not going to be there for them?

Answer 1

Why have kids when you can't support them? Some people have to work. I'd like to get a home. I'm sure my kids would like to have their own bedrooms eventually. I'm sure my kids won't want to wear clothes from the salvation army when they go to school. I'm also certian that I do NOT want to go to the store and pay for my groceries with food stamps. For the time being, my kids go to their grandma's from 5am until 2pm. Once I'm finished with school, they won't have to go there everyday. My kids weren't planned, but I do NOT believe in abortion. I also don't believe in welfare when you are perfectly capable of working. My mom worked when I was younger. I never resented her because she worked.

Answer 2

Although I don't have children myself my sister and her husband both had to work when my niece was a baby (my sister worked from 6pm-12am and my brother-in-law worked from 8 am to 5 pm), Of course that put a damper on their relationship, but they made sure they were home to take care of her. Occasionally she went to her grandparents (she loved it) and that happened more as she grew past her toddler years. Once school started she either went to a after school daycare or to a babysitter's, but for a couple of hours a day. Now she stays home after school babysitting my little nieces and nephews so they can be around her, not some random babysitter (their mom is there when my niece arrives and their dad comes home around 10 or 11). Of course she picks the older children up from the bus stop, helps with homework, cooks dinner, does bathtime with all 5 of them (6 month old, 3 year old, 4 year old, 6 year old, and 8 year old), puts them to bed, and still gets herself dinner cooked there and most homework done.
All of that babbling aside I see how hard is it to make enough money to survive and I understand they can't be with their children all the time, but if they have the same people or a scheldule that stays the same with people they are familar with I think they can thrive, and even find someone else they can be close to.

Answer 3

I am so sorry you have such a poor view of a woman's role. If your mother hadn't worked would you have been able to have the nicer things in life or be one of the kids you teased for having 5 outfits that they wore each week. (Yes I am being just as judgemental as your statement) I am right now a SAHM and I hate it. I have worked everday since I turned 16 and working for me gives me a sense of purpose. Did having my daughters change this NO. I am still a career minded person. I still want to contribute to society and more importantly to myself. Being home for me is like being in prison. My role as a mother doesnt' mean that I stuck the home, cooking cleaning, doing laundry. Now do I teach my girls, yes, they are 4 and 3 and are already past there peers in school as far as what they can do and what they are supposed to do at this age. I think daycares and schools provide a service for parents that for whatever reasons they cant' be there 9-5 to care for there kids. I hope when you have kids if you dont' have them already you are able to be home with them. That your bills get paid w/o assistance and that you are happy about that but dont' say that a parent that works cares less for there kids. Oh and one other thing, you were raised by several people even if you didnt' have babysitters and daycare centers, if you were exposed to your grandparents, aunts, uncles, older cousins etc you were influenced and raised by many!

Answer 4

This arguement is really getting old on here.

Working moms are not the career focused mothers that people are making them out to be. Just as stay at home moms are not the "perfect" moms that they are made out to be.

Almost every woman has the right to be a mother if they choose to. What right does anyone have to tell me that I don't deserve to have children in my life simply because I would have to work to support and provide for those children? NO ONE!! I deserve to have children just like any stay at home mom. That goes for any working mom too.

I was a working mom when my son was younger because my jerk ex-husband wouldn't pay childsupport most of the time, and I thought that my son deserved food and clothes. HOW SELFISH OF ME, HUH??

I stayed at home for the first 9 months after my daughter was born, but we got really in debt so that I could do so. With my husband only bringing home about $18,000.00 a year, after he pays child support, taxes, and insurance, I had not choice about going back to work. If I didn't my kids wouldn't have new clothes, toys, birthday or Christmas presents. We do not live a luxerious lifestyle by any means. We have a small 30 year old house, my old car that I had 7 years ago that breaks down constantly, and a used mini-van. I don't work so that I can buy Coach purses or get facials at a day spa. I work to provide my children with a normal lifestyle. I don't want to have to tell my kids that they cant get a $10.00 toy at Walmart because mom and dad can't afford it. I am not crazy about daycares, and for that reason, I pay a woman to watch my daughter during the day. She treats her like she is her own granddaughter, and I pick her up as soon as I get off work and I don't take her on my days off.

Good grief!!! Even Caroline Ingells worked at Nellies resturant and left little Carrie and Grace at home with Laura!

Answer 5

I'm a stay at home mother, because we can afford it. People want to have the joy of children and the joy of owning a home that can be expensive sometimes. They want the thought of having grandchildren and everything. I wish I could work once my children are in school and I would be off once they come home from school. That's just not in the cards now. People become independent and feel guilty from their partners having to pay for everything and hardly making ends meet.

Answer 6

As a single parent, I can tell you that it breaks my heart to put my 5 year old son into daycare Mon - Fri. However, as much as I wanted children, I knew that I would still have to work in order to support them. Just because he's in daycare during the week while I'm at work doesn't mean that someone else is raising him. I'm still the one who gets him up in the morning and I'm the one who picks him up at night. I feed him, I bathe him, I put him too bed. Next year when he's in school full time, he will only be at the sitter's for maybe 2.5 hours. Just because I have to support him away from home, doesn't mean I don't love him.

Answer 7

I am a stay at home mom to my 10 month old. And I love it.. I see all of what he does..how he is growing and always get to see all the firsts. I would just hate missing this part of his life. I would have hated having to go back to work after I had him.
But some people can't afford it so they have to work. As long as they trust who they leave their children with it's fine. And also it isn't for that long eventually they will have the children have to go to school. In reality school and daycare are not that much different. They have daycares for a reason..and that is so people can work.

Answer 8

I work because I have to, not because I want to. Believe me, my heart is conflicted every single day when I have to drop my children off in someone else's care. I want to be a stay-at-home mom more than anything else on this earth... I have scaled back my work schedule to 4 days a week, and I get 3 wonderful days a week at home with my kids. I am there for my children, and by working to make a living I am caring for all of us.... it's a heart wrenching reality for me.... not what I want... just a necessity... :(

Answer 9

The price of living is just way too high for a middle or low income family. So usually there is no way that one of the spouses can stay home... they have to work. Unless you have the luxury of working from home.

Now if you are speaking of mothers who don't have to work yet choose to use daycare all day so she can shop and get her nails done... there is a problem there. I really don't see that happening very often.

Best of Luck!

Answer 10

sometimes working moms want to be there but they have to go to work to pay the bills so they can put a roof over your head and food in your mouth some moms want their children to have everything they need and deserve and cant do that unless they go to work everyday it's different when they are obsessed with their job that their kids dont come first that's a different story but I'm sure most moms wish they could stay home with their kids everyday but have to work to provide for them

Answer 11

I think that sometimes people don't plan on having kids and it happens that they get pregnant but they can't provide for their child with just one parent working so both have to work. I know that's what happened with me. Our daughter was not planned at all. My fiance was working for a while and I stayed at home but we just couldn't afford all the bills on his salary alone so I had to start working while I am going to school also. I always make time for my daughter and on the weekends I spend every minute with her. Just because a parent isn't there 24/7 doesn't mean that they are there for their child. sometime people have to do what they need to do to make sure that they provide for their child