Help me! Mother wont let me live!?

Question

Ok, some info first...I am a 16 yr old boy who excels in school and has never done anything wrong...my parents are split up and I live with my mom only . I have no siblings.

The problem: I CANT DO ANYTHING. It makes me so angry...I'm not allowed to go out...not allowed to just hang out with friends...not allowed to do anything. I get invited to parties and everything...but I can't go. I don't really get to choose my friends, my mom has to approve of them. On the rare occaision that I'm allowed to leave the house, my mom interrogates me about who,what,where,when,why, how, how long..etc. I've never done anything... I've never been to a party, concert, etc..

I know most teenagers go through this but IT IS BAD...I know when I go to college (if im not forced to live at home) I'm going to EXPLODE and ruin my life with a sudden realization of freedom...I have a job but I make minimum wage which would be impossible to live off of, and I know moving out would be a stupid idea anyways...HELP

Answer 1

Sounds like mom is feeling some pressure.

First, when kids run late or aren't home on time, a parent's first thought is that they were killed. I don't think your mother can handle the thought of losing you. She sounds very afraid. Afraid enough not to care how you feel about it.

Sit and speak with Mom respectfully and calmly. Explain to her that you have 2 years left at home and that you need to learn to make responsible decisions. Tell her you would like to be able to choose a couple of social events each month. Tell her you'll call when you get there, and later in the middle of the deal, and that you will be home on time. Tell her she doesn't have to worry. You make good grades, work, and do what she asks. See if she won't ease up a bit once she grasps that you will be on your own in a couple of years. When you talk with her know what events you want to attend. Give her the information youknow she is going to ask for. Know who's going, how you're getting there, and back: know how much this is going to cost, where the event is being held and when. Give her an estimate on the duration. Tell her a specific time you'll be home. " Mom, I figure the concert lasts about four hours. I'll be home at midnight."

Tell her you love her. Tell her you will be home.
Teach her about the adult you are becoming. Gently. Letting go is hard.

Answer 2

To be honest, it sounds like your mother is worried about losing you. As your parents have split up I assume that you are her closest family member. If that is the case then she is fearing the thought of not having you around hence she is so protective and wants to keep you in the house. It's a difficult situation to say the least because it may do more damage to her psychologically if you move out. Have you tried sitting down and talking to her about it? You have to let her know how you feel. Try and let her know that you wanting to go out doesn't mean you want to leave home or her. Spending some quality time with her might help her feelings too, help her out with jobs around the house, go grocery shopping with her. Simple things like that make a big difference. I hope some of this has helped.

Answer 3

You should be happy she is keeping you away from wondering the streets and hanging with these so called 'yobs'! My parents were the same way with my sisters and I and I hated it, thought they didn't want to me to have fun, anyway, got through school, got my degrees and now living with my partner and they are so supportive...I did what they wanted and now they are so supportive of my decisions and what I want. Just be thankful she cares enough to tell you where you can and cannot go. oh and the thing about going crazy in college, never happened with me, you'll be able to see what's right and wrong after the way your mom has raised you. And another thing, i haven't been to a concert yet, don't really want to, how safe can it really be.... It may just be a trust thing, show her she can trust youa nd that you are responsible,, use those important oprtuinites you get to prove yourself and you'll saee she may let you out more often, you are really young anyway so there is no rush...you'll understand what i mean when you reach 24!

Answer 4

Wrestling is quite a lot an same, now to not teach, you are able to actual have wrestling tournaments and competitions. that is tricky for persons to cajole their father and mom to do something their father and mom are terrified of. so that you in all likelihood wont get everywhere with arguing. My suitable suggestion is that you both save attempting to cajole her, or you soak up wrestling, it really is a good idea. because then even as your 18, your not less than your moms limit and also you may initiate MMA, and also you'll have a good wrestling heritage. a number of the stunning MMA combatants contained in the international right this moment did an same component.

Answer 5

Is there an adult ; perhaps the parent of one of your friends that could possibly talk to mom and ask her if you could go with their family to some planned events and maybe report back to mom as to how responsible you were and how she should be proud of you. Or perhaps a teacher or a counselor from school, or if you go to church...perhaps a minister or someone.
If that isn't feasible....what is the situation with dad? Can you possibly go live with him? Or is there anyway that he could talk to mom and get her to lighten up alittle?
Depending on the state you live in, some states consider you an adult at age 17. At that time, you could possibly go and live with your dad, or even a friend if you can find one whose parents will let you move in.
What about any other relatives? Aunts, uncles, Grandparents? Is there anyone you can go live with????

Answer 6

Well man you're in a tough situation!!! I can see your mom's side of things as well as I can see yours!!! You do need to sit down with her and explain to her that you are coming to an age where your social life is expanding and that if you want to achieve future relationships, now is the time to experience things a little on your own. Maybe you can negotiate a contract with your mother providing g you can go out however many nights or evenings a week under certain curfews and that if you don't live up to that you formally agree to lose certain privileges for whatever amount of time determined in the contract!!!
From your writing it seems that you do care about your mother;s wishes and want to respect her....be sure to make that clear to her!!! It is in my opinion that you at the age of 16 need to practice your responsibility in your decisions!!! That's what childhood is for, learning to make right decisions...that's where mom comes in to help you correct or rethink poor decisions!!!
Good luck !!!

Answer 7

i think the fact that you can recognize you might "explode" in college is really mature. because you probably will.
but if you know you are prone to do it. then why do it? you feel chained and practically tortured. i know how you feel. but you're sixteen...what 2 more years until uni??? two more years is not a long time. you're mother wants to protect you. (she's OVERprotecting you if you ask me) she obviously loves you enough to overprotect you thatway. sometimes
moms are just like that... look at it this way. some mums just let their kids do whatever.... and they end up in jail or dead or drug addics.. it's a really thin line between like letting kids have freedom and too much of it.
and like your mom didn't go to "mum" school she's learning and will learn from her mistakes.
try and hold it in a bit. college is better and if you know you'll explode in college.. JUST DON'T.

Answer 8

Yes,your mother is being over protective,but she has her reasons.
She fears that you are going to desert her,like your father.So by keeping a tight reign on you,she thinks she's keeping you close,when all she is doing,is driving a wedge between you.
You need to have a serious talk with your mum.It won't be easy,but you've got to have your say as well.
Tell your mum everything your feeling,all your hurts,and why should she mistrust you,when you've only done things to please her.Tell your mum you need a life,or she will push you away completely.
Is there anyway you can talk to your father? Ask him to have a talk with your mum,on your behalf.
If you don't sort something out,you'll both regret it one day,when things get blown out of proportion.

Answer 9

I've been there - and it was hell. You just have to hang in until you can leave to go to college or uni. you also need to get a grip and work things out within yourself so you don't go off the rails when you do get out. At the end of the day if your mum is trashing your life then don't let her win by you trashing your own life the first chance you get. It's your life not hers and you have to take charge of it and your behaviour. Just work hard stay focused and wait til you can leave and then do the best you can and really make something of yourself despite her.

Answer 10

Just hang in their, Mom is doing what she thinks is best for you, you may not see it now, but one day you will, at this age, I felt the same way. But now I see it. You will get your time. Don't grow up too quick. Life will be their waiting for you, Try and enjoy yourself, try and make yourself happy. To get out of the house join some clubs. You are going to be okay, so hang in their!