if i see a therapist or doctor about cutting..............?

Question

well the thing is im only 14 so if i go nd see someone, well it would be hard enough to get out my house, but if theythink my lifes at risk theyll tel my mum and the otherday she saw some cuts on me and was REALY angry! :s but im 15 soon so i could go then?
umm yeah, thats about it, so can they actualy tell her? thanx duuudes!
xxx

Answer 1

i totally sympathise with you and know how you feel...at the age of 14 i was diagnosed with aneroxia, depression and i sef-harmed (i still have some scars now...3 years later)- i was in denial about all these things but then one day i cracked and realised i needed help....i sat down with my parents and explained EVERYTHING....about what i was doing to my body....how i was feeling inside....and how i came close to taking a overdose.....i was referred to a psychiatrist and was admitted in to a psychiatric hospital for 6 months...im not trying to scare you and tell you thats where your going to end up because mine weren't just about the self-harming but what i will say is that you need to sit down with your parents..tell them not to speak because there is something you need to get of your chest and just get them to listen.....as for you saying that your mum was angry when she saw your cuts...it isnt an anger for example....if you damaged someones property....but an anger that is brought on by being worried, scared, feel like they cant help e.t.c...and probably why you never went to them for help...once your parents get an idea (i wont so understand because no one can ever understand unless they are going through it or has been through it) of what your feeling then get them to take the right steps forward to getting you psychiatric help and counselling....but DONT keep this to yourself.....im not saying its a 2 minute job to fix because even after i came out of hospital after being in there for 6 months i carried on self-harming but i still got to see a cousellor and psychiatrist twice a week.....now 3 years later i no longer self-harm but carry the scars with me.....i wish you much luck

Answer 2

OK so for you to feel comfortable telling this to a doctor you need to confirm the rules about patient confidentiality. I reckon you might be able to get that off NHS 24 (the night doctor/nurse line).

You can also be completely brass-necked about it and get an appointment with your GP and simply ask the question: "what can I tell you without you telling my folks?" He/she will work with you to get you what you need, if he/she is smart.

Anyway your GP is the route to therapy, and the FASTEST route to therapy is for your life to be in danger. If you want to sort this out, you should let it all out. Your mum already knows you cut yourself anyway; there's nothing you can tell her now that will make her feel more desperate than she already is. So you already have no secrets there. In fact, if the thinks you're taking the initiative to get help yourself, she will be so relieved you won't believe it. How she expresses that I have no idea.

Once in therapy, it's between you and the therapist.

Thing is, self-harm is a biggie. Work on this soon. The longer you leave it the harder it gets. Just go do it. Please!

PS whatever the rules are, they don't change between 14 and 15, so there's no point in waiting.

PPS don't be afraid of psychiatrists or psychologists. They're no different to ordinary doctors. You may end up seeing both - the psychiatrist first but just for a short time, then the psychologist. There will be a bit of waiting involved. The rapport between you and the psychologist (who will probably do the therapy) is important, so if you can't stand them, go back to your GP and say so. It's usually possible to shift.

Answer 3

Yes, I think you ought to go see a doctor and/or therapist. Cutting is an addiction that is real hard to break. I know, I've been there. It is a way to avoid feelings that are too hard to feel. Cutting also produces endorphines so like a runner, you become addicted to feeling the endorphines. In my experience the cuts got worse and worse as I felt the need for more endorphines.

The cycle can be stopped but you have to be willing to talk about what you are getting from the action and to really consider what you need from those around you to help you begin the process of stopping the self harm.

As far as them telling your mum, I think she should know eventually, but maybe you can talk to your doctor as the other post said, request he doesn't tell your mom before you tell him.
It may be best that your mom be involved in your therapy...and maybe not right away.

Remember though that a lot of times Anger is a response to Fear and/or Pain. Your mom may have been so angry because she was afraid for you and doesn't know how to reach out to you to help.
You may want to talk to a teacher or someone you trust first and ask if they know of anyone you can see professionally that can help you and will up hold the confidentiality clause most therapists abide by.

Good luck....though it takes hard work rather than luck. I';m pulling for you.
Take care of you the best you can, you deserve it.

Answer 4

Darling you really need to see someone that can help you......whether it's your doctor, school counseller or teacher.
As your mum has seen the cuts she already knows that you are doing this and I am sure she would want you to get some professional help. Your mum may have seemed really angry but I am sure she is also very worried, and is finding it hard to understand why you are doing it.....Being a parent is very hard and we don't know all of the answers.
My daughter has had a troubled life and has done the same thing, all I wanted for her was to receive the help she needed. I encouraged her to see a counseller and never questioned her about her sessions, I had to accept she had problems that she couldn't or didn't want to discuss with me.
The counselling has helped and she no longer self harms.....I still don't know why she did it and I probably never will, I am just grateful that she is now coping with her problems in a different way.Help is there... ..you just have to ask for it.
Please e-mail me if you think I can give you anymore help/advise,
Take care

Answer 5

Hi, I don't think any experienced professional is going to get too anxious about cutting it is very unlikely you'll do yourself any real harm and they are more likely to give instructions about how to do it safely than tell your mum. They will want to work with you on a basis of confidentiality and I can't see them telling her without your permission even though you're a minor. There is no such thing as absolute confidentiality however and they will work within legislative guidelines. Go and see someone they are good people usually and they will want to help you not get angry with you.

Answer 6

You can go to a therapist, and usually they have teen centers that you can visit without your parents and get the help you need. Cutting is called self mutilation, and it is a hard thing to work out. Ive been a cutter for 10 years...if I could have got help at 15 I may not have had to suffer all these years. (this is not me wanting pity...I want you to know how bad this can be) Get help, if your mom is mad, let her be, but you WANT help...that is a great thing. Don't lose hope, don't forget people LOVE you, and you can find help. Good luck, J

Answer 7

Honey listen,,, im sure you if u know u need to see a therapist then thats the first step in u helping yourself,, which is great,, but you need to tell your mom that u WANT to see someone,, This is serious,, my daughter had a friend that did that,, its not safe, but if you tell your mom u want to talk to a therapist they WONT tell her if u ask them not too,,, Be honest with them and tell them u need to talk but you would prefer it to be confidential, Or they are wasteing your time... i dont think they would tell you parents if your aware that you have a problem and are tryin to correct it,,, and please correct it. Your so young and have so much to look forward too,, You just dont know it yet,,! And it doesnt matter how old u are,,, anyone can commit u if your causing yourself or others bodly harm. So instead of them finding out the wrong way,, tell mom that you would like to see someone, then since she is your mom im sure you can condifide in her later ,,, i would be worried about getting out of the house,, i'd be more worried of why your doing this to youself,, the scars dont and wont fade that easy,,, plez be careful and take care of youself,, your school has someone u can talk to,, try there,,, take care kiddo and im sure things will work out,, x0x0x0x0x0 Bonnie

Answer 8

Go to your Doctor as SOON AS POSSIBLE!
You have a serious PROBLEM and need HELP!
I have a daughter with this problem and know How Bad it can get!
She has been self-harming since 14 and is now 31!
The Doctor May advise you to tell your Mum but I doubt he would tell her especially if you tell him that she was angry!
If she does find out though then she needs to talk to someone too!

PLEASE GET THE HELP YOU NEED!!!

Answer 9

I can understand how you feel - I started cutting at 14 and still do it at 31. It started when something horrible happened to me that I just couldn't talk about at the time. Go to your doctor though and talk it out with them. They should understand that it's just a way of coping with stress in your life and not a sign that you are in any way suicidal or a danger to yourself and even though you're still a minor they have to abide by patient confidentiality.

My doctor encouraged me to tell my parents about this behaviour but never pushed me to do so or told them himself. I have recently found a website that might help you. It's www.crazyboards.org.

Answer 10

Geez. That's a tough one. I believe you still need a parent to take you at 14, being a minor and all. Why are you cutting yourself? Is it because of your parents ? I'd probably talk to a school counselor or something so that they can help you tell your parents and maybe it will be easier that way. Please get counseling soon. I am the parent of a daughter who started self mutilation at your age (I was stupidly unaware) and she ended up attempting suicide- she had physical health issues she could not handle at the time. Talk to someone ASAP!