What can I do to help my little sister from suffering the same pain I did?

Question

I'm 24 my little sister just turned 14. I was reading her myspace page the other day and read a blog she posted recently saying how she's lonley and wants a boyfriend so bad. She went on saying that she wants someone to hold her and love her and make her happy. I haven't brought it up to her yet that I've read it. Growing up neither me or my 3 sisters had a great relationship with my dad. Because of that I had horrible experiences with boys growing up. I didn't realize what I was doing then, but I constantly sought the love of a "man" and suffered alot because of that. I don't want her to go through the same. It hurts me to see her heading toward the same road of heartache and disappointment.
What can I say to her to help?

I should have added that I don't live with her at home anymore. I live about an 2 hrs away so the most common form of contact I have with her, or the rest of my family, is over the phone. I wish I were there to be more involved in her life.

Answer 1

whether it's on the phone or in person, the best way to handle this situation would be to tell her honesty what happened to you and how you would like to help her so, she doesn't go through the pain that you did. Tell her about some of your experiences and let her know that you completely understand because you were in a similiar situation when you were young. Let her know that you love her and don't want to see her get hurt. Also, let her know that she needs to be safe and don't post information like this on the internet. I think it's great that you are trying to be a good sister and looking out for her.

Answer 2

Is there any chance of your parents letting her move in with you and attending school there? It would be especially easier if she is not doing good in her present school. That way, you would be able to monitor her more closely and talk to her on a more personal leval about the things that have happened in your life.
If this is not feasible, you might try and see if she could maybe spend a weekend with you. Pick her up after school on Friday and return her to home Sunday evening. At least those 2 days you can share girl talk and probably learn alot about her and her about you.
I would not tell her you read her blob. It would only make her feel as if she has no one she can trust.
Tell her that she needs to really take advantage of having her girlfriends now because when she does get into her teen years and gets a boyfriend, she will be spending most of her time with him and not her friends and when she breaks up with the boy (which we all do at least once in our lives) the best friends are always there if we have treat them right up until those teen years.
Good Luck!!!!

Answer 3

You can remind her that she is only 14!!

Let her know your there for her. It's just not fatherly love that one misses, it's that the mother didn't give alot of love ( hugs kisses) either.

You can do that for her, can't you?

Try and show her how great it is to be 14, without the emotional turmoil of having a boyfriend. Tell her to just date and not worry about having a BF.

Try and check out local clubs or such and try and get her involved with them. OR sports!!
Your 24, you say you learned the hard way, well, be there for her, so she doesn't have too.

Answer 4

first of all, posting that comment could cause her to attract the sexual attention of predators who will comfort her and pretend to love her so she will want to meet them in person. She should delete that comment because the internet is a dangerous place to look for guys. Your sisters safety should come first. If your sister wants to have good relationships with guys, she needs to be fun and interesting, not trampy and desperate. Guys arent into desperate girls. Your sister should try to be more social, flirt a little, and have some real conversations with guys that she is interested in. Of course all this should take place with people she knows from school and other extra-curricular activities, not over the internet. Most of all, she should be herself and the right guy will come, if she tries too hard, it will turn guys off.

Answer 5

I know that it might be hard for her but your sister needs to just focus on her education and future career. She has more than enough time to think about having someone to hold her, love her and make her happy. Be a big sister to her. Take her places. Show her that you care. Show her that there is no rush to get into a relationship. Rushed relationships never work. Remind her that good things come to those who wait. Good luck!

Answer 6

Just tell her what you basically told us and see if she'll open up to you. You may want to suggest she talk with someone (therapist) to help where you aren't sure. You sound like a good big sister. Good luck to all of you. I hope you all are happy in the future.

Answer 7

just call her and let her know you are there for her. I'm 15 and my sister is 22 and lives in north Carolina. she never had a good relationship with my dad and now that I'm a teenager i find it hard to get along with him also. hes bipolar and sometimes hes hard to get along with so were not close. just let her know you are there for her and always will be and that whenever she needs to talk you'll be there.

Answer 8

You are now a major adult at 24 and maybe the one to talk to is your dad. Tell him how you felt and how it doesn't have to hurt her if he gets his act together.

Yes, that is a sad story, and I'm sorry for you and your little sister.

Answer 9

a 7 year old tackled a 13 year old? Put some ice on the sore spots i guess.

Answer 10

Talk to her and let her know that you understand and you know what it's like. You can't make her do decisions for her and you can't protect her from everything even though I'm sure you would like to but you can be there for her.