My husband has always been our bread winner he makes more income than I do and really wants me to stay home with our 2 kids which I have tryed and it drove me insane they are 2 and 1 so it was really hard I went to school and am now a C.N.A and work part time at a hospital on a floor I HATE I was just offered my dream job but it is full time so our kids will have to go to daycare 3 days a week my husband said since its for me to work I can pay for it I think we should both pay for it what do you think?
2006-11-02 08:44:28 · 13 answers · asked by Ashley 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Statistics and my personal experience say that couples who don't pool their incomes are more likely to divorce.
If you are maintaining seperate bank accounts, and arguing over who's paying for what, you are adding fuel to the fire between you. It should not be "his money" or "my money" - it should be "our money".
So maybe instead of looking at it from the angle of who should pay for daycare, maybe you should take the approach of "Is this healthy for our marriage to be handling our finances this way?".
This doesn't mean you need to go to marriage counseling or that your marriage is in danger, but it could be a sign of issues that will continue to get worse. It's easier to fix them now.
2006-11-02 09:57:37 · answer #1 · answered by Chris H 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Personally it takes 2 to tango. You both have the kids, they are both yoour and hubbys resposibility. In this day and age it is VERY difficult for a one income family to make it. I should know, I'm living it. I say if your husband cant help out a little with daycare, you MAKE him help or he can sleep in the dog house. Just think of how much MORE the kids will have with more money coming in. Your not doing it to be selfish, your doing FOR the KIDS!
2006-11-02 16:59:43 · answer #2 · answered by *Peachy* 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop getting in the way of yourself..pay for the damn daycare and spend the rest on you and the kids let his money pay the bills then see how that lasts. You need to look around you can find great care at reasonable costs and then you get out of the house and your children get to socialize.
2006-11-02 18:24:12 · answer #3 · answered by jesika1132 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a stay at home mom and I chose not to have a career. However, I completely understand your point of view. Staying home is not for everyone. In my marriage there isn't his and hers money....there wasn't before the kids when I had a job and there isn't now that I don't have a job. I think that your funds should be pulled together and split expenses. But, if he takes care of everything else ie. mortgage, bills, etc than I suppose it's fair for you to pay daycare.
good luck and don't listen to the people telling you that you should be at home. Staying at home is a hard job and a great job....but wanting a career and being a mom is more difficult. More power to you.
2006-11-02 17:32:38 · answer #4 · answered by anna 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I say pay for it! I like you stayed home for a 18 months....So I know what you mean
Its worth you getting a better job and down the road a better income in case this marriage does not work out!
My husband and I put all our money in the same account....but we figure my check pays for the daycare and insurance!
2006-11-02 17:18:54 · answer #5 · answered by MindinChaos 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
OMG, what is up with these other women telling you that you shouldn't work??? This is not the 1950s.
I say, go for your dream job, and YES, it should be a shared expense, NO QUESTION. You two don't have a joint account, I take it? And it doesn't matter who makes more money. You are in a marriage, which should be a 50/50 partnership. And your husband should support your desire to work.
My kids are in day care, and they LOVE it. And I am happy because I'm in a job I love, and that results in a happy family.
Good luck!
2006-11-02 17:13:05 · answer #6 · answered by KL 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
What is wrong with you paying for daycare? My husband and I make the same amount of money but I pay for daycare and all child related expenses and he pays bills, housing stuff, etc...Seems like a fair trade to me.
2006-11-02 16:47:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
i think you should both pay for it since they are both your children and your sending them because your are going to work. i think you should just go for it and maybe as time goes by he will feel otherwise and start helping with the cost. good luck and don't let that stand in the way of your dream job..
2006-11-02 17:08:18 · answer #8 · answered by juicy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what a total butthead! I can't believe he said that to you, he probably feels threatened that you might be making the same money as him and you won't need him as much for money, or this is probably him trying to control you and what you do. Tell him he needs to be a man and help you pay, because you are making the families life easier
2006-11-02 17:04:46 · answer #9 · answered by fourcheeks4 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell your macho husband to get off his high-horse and help pay for the day care. After all, they're his kids too and just because you are working does not mean he isn't also responsible.
2006-11-02 17:41:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋