my 9 year old daughter is driving me mad with her attitude, help!?

Answer 1

no suggestions but lots of sympathy - got two daughters 17 and 14 and having similar problems - nothing major but general moodiness - only thing that helps me is a night out with girlfriends every now and then and taking quiet time to talk to my daughters when the moods are a bit more bearable
good luck xx

Answer 2

Wow! You have got some "loud" replies. I do not have any kids over age 5 , but there is much attitude in our house at times. Since she is only 9, you may want to try to talk to her and make sure that nothing serious is going on. If she is dealing with something in depth, she may be showing resentment toward you for not knowing what her issue is. If she is the oldest sibling, she may feel overwhelmed by younger children, or not involved enough with you. If she is an only child, she might have a "crush" on a boy, or problems in school that she thinks you wouldn't understand. A lot of times, a child might have a self esteem issue, and their way of dealing with it is to act self involved even though they are hurting inside. Try to plan a girl's night out. A dinner ,movie, or trip to the mall, just you and she. DON"T push her to talk about it. She will then force you away even more. Still, she could just be having a bad day.
Hope I could help.
mamaofthesweetest4

Answer 3

You don't give any details, but that in itself is probably a clue. My guess is that you are not very good at communicating. If I were your daughter, I'd have a bit of attitude about that, frankly.

With nothing to go on, I will make this suggestion. Sit down with her and ask for her advice. Tell her you find her behaviour difficult/ provocative/insulting (you can fill in the adjective here - I can't do all the work for you!) and ask her what she would do in your situation.

She won't answer you with clarity immediately, but stick with it. She is only a child. Talk to her of course, but above all - LISTEN to her. Sometimes she will be talking nonsense, as we all do, but when she says something rational, respond to it rationally. She knows what the problem is, and eventually she will tell you. Listen to what she is saying. If you disagree with her, explain why. The poor child is having to learn her communication skills from someone obviously very challenged in that department, so please be patient with her.

Answer 4

Sorry you'll have to takle the parenting away from your daughter and take it on yourself. She's nine years old. She is not in charge. She needs your love and your husbands love. She needs role modeling and she needs it from both Mom and Dad . If Dad is not around, buck up, she is depending on you to do both. Make it a happy occasion when you are together but not a giving up all the time because she has a rotten attitude. Sometimes tough love is necessary, but never Ugly attitudes. She got the attitude from somebody!

Answer 5

Welcome the club. I have a 9 and 11 year old and they drive me crazy with attitude. It goes with the territory.

I don't spank for attitude. If it gets out of control or crosses the line of disrespectful, they can expect to spend some time in their room or, on a time-out chair (yes, even at 9 and 11). They are just asserting themselves in their own way.

Good luck. It will pass in...about 8 years or so.

Answer 6

Try to spend more time with her.Trust me I'm 12 and I used to have an attitude until I realize how thankful I am to have a mom like her.
Make nights when you both stay up late talking,watching movies,and eating popcorn.Ask her things about school;you never know what kind of info you can get out of her.She might be stressed about something. Good Luck!!!

Answer 7

tell her she is acting like a infant,
and since she is, you will now be treating her as such untill it improves,

remove any grown up privlages she has
when she whines ( and she will)
remind her that she is acting like a baby, and is being treated like one
it may get worse for a bit be prepared for that
take away more things,

define clearly to her what she is doing that is unacceptable in spefic terms,
and what exactly you want her to do differently

realize that change will be slow, but it will come if you are consistant.
make sure the spouse in on board for this,
if one is, and the other isn't, then it will only make her seek the other one more.

see if there are any new freinds that may be encouraging the behavior, and if so, limit the association, or block it if approperate.

Answer 8

This is what I do. I sat my daughter down and explained a list of chores she has to do every day. Cleanher room, feed the animals, nothng much. For everyday she does it, she gets a tick. This works towards her pocket money. At the end of the month I pay her according to the number of ticks she has.
Then I fine her for everytime she's cheeky. I write it down on the same piece of paper and I try to stick to it. And I fine her a tenth of her pocket money, which gets deducted from the overall amount.
It works for me.
The aim I am trying to achieve is "think before you speak". And when there's less anger you will get on better with your child.

Answer 9

whats the attitude?

if she is lazy and untidy then keep making her go back again and again until it is done

if she keeps answering you back then give her 9 min (her age) in a quiet corner/seat/stair every time she does this. after the time is up keep her there until she apologises nicely

if she doesn't brush her teeth/hair get washed - then treat her like a baby and do it for her. guaranteed to drive her mad.

sorry i can't help more - but i am unsure what the problem is.

good luck

Answer 10

You should give her a few spanking to let her know whose boss, and if she's having a problem with it, send her to boot camp! I'm telling you being raised in a strict family has given me great opportunities. One of them is that I'm not a spoiled brat (no offense) who thinks he or she is the king of the world!!! Talk to her ask her what's bugging her. Because most of the time, these kids use rude behavior to make a point. If she persist with the attitude tell her to cool off, if it goes beyond the limit, then send her to a place where she can cool off, BOOT CAMP!!!!!!