my oldest is 15 and she is having sex with a 15 year old boy.. is there anything that i can do legally?

Question

i guess i should add that his mother is the one pushing it. she has 4 kids and the oldest is 19 and she is a grandmother of 4. this boy is the only one of the family that don't have kids... she is not doing it at my house she and him are leaving school during the day and doing it... i just want to meet face to face with this little bastard for 5 min and i bet he will never do anything to and girl again.."just a dads way of taking care of things"

Answer 1

Well, you can be a parent. Don't let her go out, don't let her go with the boy. And don't tell me you can't. It is tough but you lay down the law and enforce it. It is your responsibility.
If it means that you nail her window shut and sit outside her bedroom door at night...........You do it!
If it means you take her to school and walk her in and go in and pick her up after............You do it!
Parenting isn't easy. But no 15 year old should be having sex and if you know she is, it is time to step up.

Oh my gosh! I can't believe the people on here saying call the cops, get a restraining order. YOU ARE HER PARENT! It is your job to raise your child, not law enforcement. These are 2 MINORS. Step up and do you duty as a parent. Yes, it means sacrifices but she is your daughter!

I have a sneaking suspicion that this isn't the first time you've had problems with your daughter.

Answer 2

Sit them both down and start to plan their lives. They both need to get jobs and save money for a house or at least an apartment, they'll need money for food, clothes, medical care. They should also be encouraged to plan for a baby since they are so busy trying to make one. Get them a calculator and have them figure out how much money they will make without finishing High School and realistically if they don't go to college. Everyone thinks about the legalities no on wants to consider the realities. If they think they are adult enough to handle sex (I would involve his parents in this plan as much as possible) give them all the responsibility an adult has. Provide your child a bill for room, board, transportation and encourage his to do the same. These kids have all the mechanics of sex down but none of the reality of the responsibility. This just might be the kick in the a- they need to slow down and step back a step. The genie is out of the bottle all you can do now is educate-educate-educate. Good Luck!

Answer 3

Unfortunately no because they are both minors, and he is not forcing her. As hard as this maybe for you, you have to accept that your daughter is sexually active now. I can give you a whole list of things you could do and say as a mother right now that you are probably praying would work, but the bottom line is unless they break up on there on she is going to find away to get to him behind your back even if that means skipping school. If that happens and you don't let her know and make her feel like she can talk to you then you are going to lose her, meaning she is going to start keeping secrets, and not share anything at all with you because she would feel like she can't open up to you and that's when she will start asking her fast as*s friends even if she is not a fast girl and before long she going to be 15 and pregnant. I know you are probably saying well she is already keeping secrets depending on how you found out she is sexually active, but come on if you had sex before you were married you remember what that time was like and you did not wear a neon green sign for anyone to see that you had just had sex for the first time especially your mom. I lost mine when I was 16, and one day my mom just asked me was I having sex, and I told her yes. She then asked me was I using condoms I lied and told her yes, but after that day I did until I moved out of her house. Now that I am a mom it would not only hurt my heart it would scar my heart if I found out my daughter was having sex at 15, but it would hurt me even more if my child felt like I was the last person on earth she could talk to. It would really sadden me if I knew that I put an end to the really important communication part of our mother daughter relationship for something that I can't control. You need to understand that there is nothing you can do but love her, talk to her, guide her, and support her.


If you don't "you" will be the loser in the end.

Answer 4

Be a parent. An open line of communication even if it is uncomfortable between you and your daughter is crucial. Get your daughter on birth control. Make sure she understands the horror of an accidental child at 15. There are several things you can do...but legally...it is not statuatory rape. It sounds like his Mom needs to step up and be a better parent, since apparently becoming a parent at too young of an age has become acceptable in her household among her other children.

Answer 5

They are having underage sex. Yes, legally you can have a restraining order placed, etc...

In almost all states, consentual sex between two minors bears no criminal response, but on the civil level, you do still have the ability to forcibly separate them.

The problem is... they are 15. If you go through all of the hassle of doing this, all it will probably do is make both of them sneak around and do it instead of what appears to be doing it openly.

You need to do what YOU think is right, but for my part, I would be irresponsible if I didn't at least make my opinion on this known... Talk to your daughter. Don't accuse her of anything, don't come down on her or yell at her... just talk to her. Let her know that you are concerned, and that you don't want her to make a mistake that could change her life in a negative way. If you have a bad relationship with her to begin with, this probably won't get anywhere positive, but if you DO have a good relationship with her, I think you'd be surprised how much good a friendly conversation can do.

Answer 6

I know this must be hard for you, but you absolutely should not go for the over protective father approach with an iron fist. At best you'd just be making your daughter angry at you and forcing her to find ways to hide her relationship from you. At worst you'll giver her a permanently unhealthy outlook on sex. You should be talking to her, letting her know your concerns and making sure she understands the implications of what she's doing. If the problem continues, then you can start thinking about laying down the law as you would have already attempted trusting your daughter to resolve the situation in a mature and independent manner.

Answer 7

Most U.S states it is illegal at her and his age to engage in sexual activity. (I know 18 is legal age in Cali. some states are 16). I would recommend filing charges.

Your daughter will disagree and most likely fight with you. However, it is better to try to decrease the chance of her becoming the mother of his first born child while you can.

Whatever you do, you can't stop her from being independant. You can try and decrease things. If she is determined, then she will find a way. Whether with this 15 year old boy or with another down the road.

I would also contact the school administration and make sure she goes to all her classes. Takes roll. If she isn't, they call you asap and you locate her. Really want to scare her, have her sit in back of a cop car (as my old high school district did) when they caught kids skipping school.

make sure she is on birth control and taking it.

Answer 8

You can't legally stop two 15 year olds from having sex.

I know it has to be shocking finding out for the 1st time that your child is now sexually active. What you need to do is sit down and have a calm talk with your daughter. Make sure she is using proper protection and get her an appointment with your doctor to get her put on birth control pills.

You may also want to talk to the boys parents as well. And maybe have a group discussion with the children to make sure they are making responsible decisions. This is not the end of the world. Try to remain calm.

What I would not do is forbid her to see the boy. That will just drive her away from you and she will probably continuing having sex with him anyways. And quite possibly not in as safe of a manner.

Answer 9

Depends on your state laws. In some states 14 is the age of consent (Colorado). Some it's 15.

Keep in mind even if you do stop them, you're daugther will find someone else and being an ignorant youth she will probably not like it or obey it.

Your best option is be a parent and talk to her about the dangers of sex and if she REALLY wants to do it, show her how to use proper protection.

Tell her about herpes and hepatitis C. 80% of the worlds population has Herpes Type II. Almost all of them just don't know it.

Keep in mind that she's young...and stupid. (Don't take that personally, but I was her age not too long ago)

And if you really feel bad think of this. What were you doing at 15?

Answer 10

First of all, it is not statutory rape because he is also a minor.

Secondly, as a legal guardian, you have the right to impose restrictions on your minor children, and you certainly have the right to insist that your children do not have sex. If your daughter refuses to abide by your rules, you should speak with legal counsel to determine what you can legally do, which could include confinement or relocation (such as boarding school). You can also contact the boy's parents and get them involved.

Hope this helps!