What to do with a 15yr old who wants to spend time with someone who we disapprove of.?

Question

My daughter wants to spend time with a Boy who is dis respectfull to us and her, she is to young to realize. Should we allow them to hang out or not?

Answer 1

Nope, you're her parents--not her friends. I would tell her nicely but firmly that you will not allow her to spend time with someone who is disrespectful to you and to her. She might throw a fit, and hate you for a while but it's for the best.

Answer 2

All I know is when I was 16 I had a boy friend that my daddy hated,I mean hated.The more my daddy yelled the better he seemed.Till one day my mom sat him down and said look if you ignore him he will go away. Well my dad stopped yelling,stopped saying mean things about him,and soon this guy was not so interesting to me.It comes down to rebellion.and that's with a capital R .As long as things are not getting out of hand{ he is hitting her or getting her to do drugs,drinking and so on} I would suggest that you Quiet down a little and let her be.Soon enough she will ether see him for what he is or someone new and more exciting will come along.She is young yet and there are bound to be more guys. Some you will like but most you won't. Unfortunately that's what having a teen aged daughter is all about.Do your best to instill the morals you want her to have ,be understanding,and let her make her own mistakes,just be sure to be there to catch her when she falls.

Answer 3

You should sit down and have a serious conversation with her about why you disapprove her seeing this boy so much. Let her know that a real relationship would involve respect for both you and especially her and that she shouldn't be disrespected in anyway. Yelling at her and just telling her no might just back fire on you. Good luck to you and your daughter, hope that everything turns out for the better.

Answer 4

Telling her a complete 'No, you can't see him' and throwing the fake-pity "we're sorry" card is going to just frustrate and infuriate her. The consequences of which could be good, and could be bad. It all depends on the teen herself. And How Connected to this boy she is. Just because someone is disrespectful to someone, doesn't mean their a bad person. With Teens today, it's popular to joke-around by ''Dissin' '' eachother. I mean, I'm sure it was like that before, don't get me wrong.

Most Teens are fragile at this stage. Stress from friends, family, school...

Thus making her completely shut off all ties with this boy could lead to Over-Dramatic Irrational Thinking. And not only could she throw a fit, and toss the "I HATE YOU YOUR SO UNFAIR AND YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND" card. Which, Do you Truely understand her point of view?

But she could also disobey you, blantantly, repeatedly, and this could prove to be very fatal to any relationship she may have with you.


Don't let him Disrespect you, or her infront of you. And If he does so, tell him he has to go away.

...But, Also, ....Have you Ever Asked your Daughter WHY she likes him? ..


I guess what I'm getting at, is, Why don't you let the two hang out for a while longer.. But if she starts to disrespect you, then expalin to her exactly why you changed your mind and need her to stop hanging out with him.

Answer 5

Try reasoning with her. If you flatly refuse to let her see him with no opportunity to present her feelings on the matter, this boy will seem all the more interesting to her. On the other hand, it seems you feel letting the two see each other could lead to trouble for your daughter.

There's obviously no way to keep her from seeing and speaking to him at school, so demanding that she cut him out of her life altogether seems silly. Perhaps you should try to explain to her why you feel uneasy about the two of them together, and if she insists on still seeing the boy, you may try giving her an earlier curfew when she goes out with him and requesting that she check in with you. When I was in high school, my parents highly disapproved of a friend and requested that I be home much earlier when out with him, or else I would face their wrath. It wasn't long before I decided it just wasn't worth the hassle and gave up altogether.

Answer 6

let me start by saying i also have children so I feel your pain and frustration, but that's from a parents standpoint.
From a 15 year old's stand point, you are the enemy, you only want to see her miserable. you're too controlling. Trust me I know I was the girl who ran with the wrong boys all the time. mostly because my mom disapproved. she will only sneak around behind your back. Even though it is difficult for you, try to communicate to your daughter that you love her and do not agree, but you want to be part of her life also. let her express herself freely to you without your constant disapproval. she will open up to you this way. Oh yeah and the pill......................... she'll do it anyway. good luck

Answer 7

Tell her that they can spend time together AT YOUR HOME (obviously only with an adult there) so you can get to know him better, or he can attend family outings with you. Correct him gently when he is disrespectful to you (i.e., please don't use words like that in our home, or please look at me when you're talking to me - otherwise I have trouble hearing you). Treat him as if you don't dislike him -- it will really throw him off. Don't criticize him in front of your daughter or she'll probably put her energy into defending him rather than realizing for herself that he's bad news. Pray that it happens quickly. Also, there's a chance he's not a total loser and just needs some adult guidance. If you can strike a balance between being a mentor to him, yet keeping your daughter safe, you've really accomplished something. God bless!

Answer 8

You should take her to a God seeking christian Church and let her make healthy relationships. Spend more time with her and do stuff together to take her mind off boys. Maybe he's not the worst influence on her it could also be the girls she hangs out with. Talk with a Pastors wife and see what advice she can give you, also seek Gods guidance, he gave you those children and he has the answer to raise them. You can also go to a christian bookstore and find parenting books and most important a Bible.

Answer 9

Why is she dating at 15? Sounds like you did not teach her discipline and now you are paying for that. So, at this point I would contact his parents in person and tell them how you feel. If that doesn't work I would contact a juvenile officer for advice. If he has been physically violent or has had sex with her put the punk in jail. Your daughter needs counseling to find out why she seeks mistreatment from any boy. Good luck.

Answer 10

I'm in the same situation. We have decided that since they see each other anyway without our approval, that we are going to invite the boy and his parents over for dinner.

We believe that "dating" is for the purpose of marriage, so, as the parents of the daughter, we are going to ask them how he and they intend on supporting our daughter, being a 15 year old minor. We have also decided that IF they MUST hang out together, it'll be on my terms! So, I have her invite him over to our house, where our rules are in effect.

We are hoping that we have his parent's support on keeping them apart and respect our expectations for our daughter.

Answer 11

Listen, i know it hurts to see your daughter with someone you disapprove of but honestly i was that 15 yr old girl with the rude boyfriend and i would turn my back on anyone who didnt approve of him and my parents tried everything they could and i would lie to them to see him and it turned into one big mess but the more they told me no the more i rebeled and i dont know how your daughter is but thats how most teens think. if you say no it means do the opposite. now i realized on my own and if you allow it she'll be more open with you about the realationship and she will gradually see that he is not really worth it after all. hope i could help.