What to do with a 15yr old who wants to spend time with someone who we disapprove of.?

Question

My daughter wants to spend time with a Boy who is dis respectfull to us and her, she is to young to realize. Should we allow them to hang out or not?

Answer 1

If you forbid her from seeing him she will probably do so behind your back anyway. If this little toughie is being disrespectful to you and yours then just return this back to him ten fold. If he doesn't get the hint then you will probably have to allow your little girl to learn the hard way that she can do much better. It's very hard being a kid today and at that age they are so impressionable.

Answer 2

Hi there.So it seems u r a very caring parent and i really respect parents who take care of thier children though i'm a fifteen year old boy and my parents' care towards me sometimes annoys me alot,but i think parent's care and devotion are really important specially at this stage where teenagers tend to try anything new even if it's wrong,that even goes for me! I surely have the same opinion as yours(to get ur daughter away from this guy) , if u really r sure that the boy is disrespectful, but my advice is to take ur daughter step by step ,dont just face her with the fact that she has to leave the guy once and for all.For exampe,first tell her that she has to go out or talk to him less often for any logical reason that is also non dominating(dont force her to do it just let her mind get persuaded) i'm sure u know what i mean.Following the same way, gradually and gentelly get her to the point that the boy is disrespectful and i think it'll be better if u tell her some evidence for ur words which means u should be monitoring the boy more closely and noticing his actions specially when he's with ur daughter.Finally, if the girl is still emotionally connected to the boy I suggest u can let her spend time with another guy who u know well and r sure that h's respectful enough 4 ur daughter and most importantly dont let her get too engaged with the new guy or else u'll find ur selves facing more problems of other types! Anyway , I think ur daugter will uderstand that u want what's best for her ,all what u need is to persuade her mind and heart at the same time and the only key for this is by being her best friends , forget that u'r parents just 4 a while and try to act and think as her friends and i'm sure she'll tell u all what she feels as if u really r her friends.I'M SORRY IF THIS WAS TOO MUCH BUT I THINK U REALLY WANT TO HELP UR DAUGHTER AND I WANT TO HELP U TOO ,SO GOOD LUCK AND REMEMBER , BE UR DAUGHTER'S BEST FRIENDS!

Answer 3

Your daughter is going to be with hI'm whether you want her to or not. I think you would rather her do it in your face than behind your back. Let her learn her lesson the hard way and she will come to you at the end and tell you you were right and she should have listened. I was that 15yr old before and now im 25. I learned the hard way and now i listen to my parents advice til this day. Let your baby know that your by her side 100% no matter what decisions she makes and she will thank you in the long run. Take Care

Answer 4

Hopefully, you can help her realize the best decision and help her make that one. If that doesn't work, then you had better work lovingly on implementing a plan to keep them from getting too serious-- and depending on how dangerous the situation is, this may or may not involve disalllowing them to hang out. I think it would be easier to prevent them from getting more serious than to try and stop what is already happening... Your daughter may have to learn a tough lesson on this one, but with your love and support, and some strict guidelines of what is and isn't permissible, she'll come through it a more mature and better person.

That said, now is not the best time for teaching correct principles or laying down guidelines or rules, hopefully they have already been taught and all she needs is a reminder. If you're throwing something new at her, she'll be more likely to reject it. I think the success you have with whatever approach you decide to take depends on the relationship you have with your daughter... if you have a close relationship in which she has a strong desire to be obedient to you and please you as parents, then you will have more luck lovingly steering her away from the bad decision. If you have taught her previously (both through your example and conversations) what a good relationship should be, she will recognize her mistake sooner than later.

However, if she is feeling a little bit rebelious, and is looking for a chance to reject your authority as parents, then trying to force your will upon her could be counter-productive and cause her to try and reject your desires all together and draw even closer to the boy, merely because it IS against your will. Even if this happens, I personally believe, that you should continue take a strong and loving stance-- and let her know that its in her best interest and how much you love her.

In summary:
1) Let her know of your love for her. This involves more than just saying "I love you", but thats important too. Its tricky, I know.
2) Let her know your thoughts, feelings, and concerns about the situation, but make sure you heavily emphasize the reasons why you feel that way. As much as possible, avoid personally attacking him, as she obviously really likes him currently. Try and be positive. Even if she doesn't immediately accept your points of view, it will give her something to think about, and when the occasions arise in which he treats her or you disrespectfully, your words will ring true to her. In the best case, she will immediately realize those things and break off contact with the dude.
3) Be strong and firm, but loving. As parents you have the right to be respected and to guide your child. Take a stance, and stick with it, but be reasonable and always loving. She may resist temporarily, but if the love is there and your guidelines are based on true principles, she won't go far. She needs you.


Good luck!

Answer 5

Absolutely not - you are the household leader and must get control of this situation!! I would ask the young man over and have a talk with him and her (try to keep your cool). She is 15, so she is old enough to learn respect for her parents. If she is too young for that then she is definitely too young to be with this guy. Tell him that he needs to learn some manners and some respect for your wishes before he can see your daughter again. Teens have a way of sneaking around your back, but do the best you can to contain this bomb. Allowed to blossom, this acquaintance will be your biggest nightmare.

Answer 6

That's a hard question mostly because you want to do right thing. But you're the parent, so do what you think is best for your daughter. Talk to her and find out why she likes being with him. Be very understanding of her feeling and don't interrupt while she's talking, just listen. Then tell her why you don't want her to spend time with this boy. Good Luck!

Answer 7

Her Dad needs to sit with her, put his arms around her & tell her just what a beautiful, intelligent, & wonderful daughter he has, & no guy has the right, or ever will have the right to treat his special girl the way this boy does.
For every "You're not good enough" that came from her Dad, he's going to need to give her 100 "Atta Girl"s to re-enforce her self-esteem.
You can tell her that she's not to be around that boy until you're blue in the face, but she won't listen to you unless she comes to believe that she deserves better.
If you forbid her seeing him, then how are you going to enforce it with her? You can't follow a teenager around 24/7, it's just not practical.
All you can do is council her on what is right & what is wrong, & have faith in her to do the right thing.
If she's disrespectful to her parents then that's a whole new ballgame. Set clear boundaries, & have predictable consequences, & if she does battle with you, then know one thing. Once you enter into a battle with your child, NEVER lose!

Answer 8

No. Your child needs a parent, not another friend. Although your decisions may not please her or make you popular right now, you and I both know that she will thank you in the future. If this guy is that bad at such a young age, it will only get worse with time. She is young, too young to have a "steady" boyfriend. She needs to hang out with a lot of girls and boys and not be seriously dating, especially this clown. Step up to the plate and do whats right for her and her future. Just say no!

Answer 9

Thats a tough one. I would say that you need to put a stop to the relationship. But at the same time if you do you risk her seeing him behind you back. Have you tried having your husband talk to her. Show her what it is like to be respected by a boy? Or maybe have your husband take her out, like a date, that way she will know what it's like to be treated special. If she insists that she wants to "hang out with him" make sure it's under your watchfull eye. Keep close tabs on her as well.

Answer 10

You have to be careful here.If you refuse to let her see him, she will want to be with him even more. If you are totally approving of him she will try to push the limits farther then usual. I am not a parent but I would think that if you try to be supportive but still a bit limiting she will eventually ( hopefully) see what he is really like and end things with him on her own, then admitt that amazingly her parents are smarter then she thought..