Am I the only one out there that does not like their step-child? I have tried to be friends with him but to no avail. I've spent money I don't have on the little ungrateful brat. My hubby and I fight because of lies being told by my step-child and even when proved he lied, I am still in crap with hubby because I'm supposed to be the mature one. This happens with my bio child too.
We eat what the kid wants, go where the kid wants, watch TV programs that the kid wants and the kid "Is the best in the world" while my own child gets picked on, can't watch her own shows, spends majority of her time in her room (with me) mad about the step-kid, plus has no say in what we eat, etc.
My child has a bedtime, and goes when I say so. His kid stays up 1/2 the night, blatting from being overtired, and again he's the best and just a little kid (he is 9, not a baby).
I love my hubby. But this kid is making me regret marrying a second time. Anyone else disliking their step-child/ren
2006-11-02 07:07:10 · 8 answers · asked by GirlinNB 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Few things to add here since it was brought to my attention that I should have elaborated a little more. First, yes I have talked to both hubby and child about the behavioural problem. Yes, I have talked to this kids bio mom (she agrees with hubby that the kid does NO wrong and that I'm the one with the problem). And yes, I threatened to leave and my response was "It's your loss" or "If that's what you want". It isn't. I just don't want to fight all the time with hubby due to his kid lying, bullying my kid, and I sure don't feel like watching SpongeBob all day cause that's what his kid wants to watch. I'm also sick and tired of being told what to cook by a 9 year old who will then refuse to eat it because that "isn't how mommy makes it". I'm seriously at my wits end with the child and with hubby, now with the ex who sees nothing wrong with her child telling me what to do, when to do it, and how to do it.
2006-11-02 08:13:40 · update #1
I can relate honey believe me, I have 2 and the girl really did some awful sh** to me. But - upon discovering that we (hubby and I) need to be a united front and it is us against them (realize this is normal in "normal" families) because at a certain point the goal is to divide and conquer. You and your husband really need to come to an understanding between yourselves. Then when you do, realize that it won't always be perfect, but as long as you both are trying, you two can weather the storm. Good luck. Raising other people's children is the hardest thing I ever have done.
2006-11-02 07:27:08 · answer #1 · answered by brokenheartsyndrome 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Communication is the key. Your Hubby has got guilt problems sounds like. You and he need to take back the household and parent as a team rather than as a 1, 2 punch. Can you correct his child? Can your hubby correct yours? these things all need to be hashed out between you and the man. Then you get to decide if this is what you signed up for or not. I have similar issues with my step and all I can do is suggest to her mom that what she is doing is counter productive. Then when the sh!t hits the fan and she's asking for help...I merely remind her of what I suggested (not told or forced on her) and give that a try.
We have 6 kids (5 mine 1 hers) so when I get my kids, she and hers end up in separate rooms from us and do separate things from me and mine. I know it's not right, but my new wife doesn't feel like she can engage w/ my kids for some reason. I beg her to but to no avail.
Bottom line you do not have to deal w/ disrespect, you or your house. If he is not minding the rules and/or you..then your hubby needs to step up and lay down the law, or else you are going to come of as a biatch...kapeesh? You can be friendly but you have to obey the guidelines of the house.
2006-11-02 15:18:49 · answer #2 · answered by Cadman1965 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where is this kids mother? Does she ever have custody of him? How do you and her get along? Have you ever discussed the kids behavior with her? Okay, now that that is over with...let's deal with the issue at hand.
Have you and he ever sat down and talked about the kid and what you perceive as a serious disipline problem with his kid?
Have you ever sat down with the kids...or preferably taken him out just the two of you..say to a park or to McDonald's or such, and try and find out how he is feeling about this joined family and why he is so upset with the rules that you are laying out for both him and your child. Tell him that you want to get along with him and have a nice family, but he is making it difficult if he continues to dislike you and your child. Tell him that you are not there to take his daddy away from him, but you want to fuse as a total family. Tell him you are not trying to replace his mother and offer to help him in any way to remember her (if she is deceased) or to keep in contact with her if she lives away.
If the dad is definitely not helping in the discipline with this child, I would seriously consider throwing in some threats of leaving until things change, and mean it.
2006-11-02 15:29:00 · answer #3 · answered by lildragonlexi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All children believe their parents will get back together someday.
My daughter has been doing much of the same with my girlfriend of (10+ yrs) She was 4 and is now 16. It seems that dad may be
trying to makeup for the break up with the boys mother. 9 yr old is still young enough to learn ethics. dad just needs to be by YOUR side for the boy to realize that dad means business. Working TOGETHER is the only solution. Belive me I waited way to long to now step in to correct my own daughter. Good luck hope your hubby wants to keep you happy.
2006-11-02 16:27:17 · answer #4 · answered by cmz003 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a step child and I know what it is like to have a crappy step parent and the sights of one. You my dear seem like an exceptional parent and this kid sounds like a brat. I can understand if he dosent like a certain thing to eat but he shouldn't be telling you exactly what to cook. As for you and your husband if you two really love each other you need to have a talk without that kid and unite your self as one team. He needs to understand it's his job to back you up.
2014-01-18 17:01:59 · answer #5 · answered by charity 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your step-child is a spoiled brat. You need to go to counseling where they can explain to your husband that a 9 yr old should NOT run your life. He should not always get his way -- he needs boundaries and rules or he's going to be a MESS when he's a teenager. You husband probably thinks you're just picking on his son because he's not your biological child, so you can't convince him otherwise by yourself. Seek counseling or your marriage is doomed. Good luck, I hope your husband comes around.
2006-11-02 15:12:57 · answer #6 · answered by Rwebgirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, i love mine raised her from a baby only thing i could suggest is lay down the law, they dont like it to bad cant play favorites got to be equal if not it will never work for all involved
2006-11-02 15:19:36 · answer #7 · answered by howie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES!!! Couldn't stand him. And that, my friend, is a huge part of the reason we split up.
2006-11-02 15:23:06 · answer #8 · answered by Lotus 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋