Need advice - I live next to 25 yo single mother with 2 babies? She has no water?

Question

Well, I am friendly to her and cordial in a neighborly way. A couple times she has asked me for a ride to the store because her car broke down - so I give her a ride. Well, 3 weeks ago, she knocked on my door and told me her water bill got shut off and asked me if I could give her the garden hose through her back bathroom window to flush toilet and her water needs until a few days - she's getting a check to pay her bill. Well, here it had been 1 month - So I got pissed off and went over and pulled the hose out of the window and shut the valve off. Next thing, her brother knocks on my door and says I'm in deep trouble with the law, because I can't deny her babies necessary water and said I'm going to be arrested for child abuse / child neglect. WTF? Please Advise?

I gave her the hose back.. I feel really bad for the babies and I can't not help. I had nightmares about them having parched mouths and being thirsty. When I put the hose back in the window and grey taped it to the towel bar above the bathtub there was poop everywhere and the stink. Now, I think I could get in trouble for reporting her. She is letting the babies live in un-clean conditions, but I spent time in prison in the past ( 22 years ago ) for armed robbery on a bank and don't want to bring attention to myself. Please advise further?

Answer 1

Be careful, BUT call the authorities and relay the above information and don't forget to tell them about the brother's threats. Since you don't know the brother (I am assuming you don't), please be careful, he might be some kind of a nut job. His sister sure is. There are toooooo many places that could help her out if she would just ask. You have to have a Welfare department (so equivalent).

Answer 2

First, you would not get in trouble. Second, tell her to check and see if the Department of Social Services has water bill assistance. If she has kids and she is the only one supporting them, they will not turn her away if they do have water bill assistance. She can also go on-line and check out what they offer to help families. She might need more help then she is letting on. Third, take the hose away and save some milk jugs to fill with water to give her till she gets things worked out. Before the brother returns, put up no trespassing signs. When he comes over to threaten you again, remind him you are not the water company and remind him about the no trespassing signs. Tell him also that you are helping the best you can. Keep checking in with the mother to find out what is happening, if nothing has changed in a short time, contact the Department of Social Services asap. Just keep in mind you will not get in trouble and you did the best you could for the mother. The children need the most help, and if mommy cannot fill the need, she needs to be on her own without children.

Answer 3

You won't be arrested at all. It is not your duty to provide THEIR household with water and you aren't guilty of child abuse or child neglect. They're relying on what they deem to be your ignorant so that they can use you without paying for their own water. You should go to child services and the police right away. She will be the one who is guilty of child abuse. I've never seen a water bill that was so expensive, it couldn't be paid (so I'm guessing she didn't pay it for a few months and it just built up). Also, remove the hose from the outside facet, so they can't sneak into your yard and put it back.

After you call the police and remove the hose, don't have anything to do with these people. They saw that you were nice once and they're trying to use you. Don't be taken for a fool. Never open up your home (or your car) to her again. They should have shown some appreciation for what you DID do!

Answer 4

Hiya. Oh my gosh! This neighbour of yours sounds absolutely dreadful! It is not your problem, if your neighbour has no water or struggles as a single parent. I am 25, a mother of one and expecting my second dealing with my partner leaving me last week unexpectedly to go back with his ex and although things are tough, i would NEVER use my status to take advantage of others. It is my problem and i deal with things on my own. Whatever your circumstance, there is no excuse not to run a house with hygeine and necessaties. What this woman needs to do is contact an advice centre and get immediate action to turn her own water supply on instead of taking yours. She should call a debt advice line too asap. Or go in to a womens protection place until things are sorted out.

As for her brother, isn't that a threat and harassment? If anything, they should be arrested for child abuse/neglect because they are the ones not getting their acts together to look after these little children. It is disgusting.

I suggest you phone an advice centre, seek advice from the police or other to protect your rights as this really aint on. Hope this is of help and good luck, Alexa x

Answer 5

If you report her to social services, PROVIDED most of the house is not nasty, she may get money from them to turn her water on again, depending on how far in arrears she is. The reason for this is that being poor is not neglect or abuse; it is cheaper for social services to pay that bill for her than it is for them to pay for full time foster care for two babies. If her house is awful all the way through then the babies are better off in care until she can straighten herself out, and they will act accordingly. Either way, the babies win. If you can't bear keeping the hose out of the window, fine--but report her.

Answer 6

You were right enough to try & help but those babies need help & so does the mother. Child services need to take a look at their situation. The brother cannot have you arrested. But chances are if he is living there he is part of the problem. Money meant to care for those kids is not getting to them. Sometimes some people take advantage & your help is not helping. What else are those kids doing without. Make a phone call on their behalf.

Answer 7

Well first off I wish there were more people like you in the world. And next thing you can't get in trouble because you don't want to pay for her water. If she had it shut off its because she didn't pay for it and if she really needed help she can get it from the emergency assistance office or health and wellfare. And if she was getting help from them then it wouldn't have taken more than a week maybe two at tops. But I really don't think it would take that long considering she has two kids. Thank you for trying to take care of others.

Answer 8

She is NOT your responsibiliy!

i don"t know about water, but in my state the heat companies can't cut you off in the winter for nonpayment whether you have kids or not. If anyone was responsible it would be her water company, not you.

The best thing you can do to help is call DHS. What she is doing constitutes child neglect. It is her responsibility to get help and assistance if she cannot provide her kids with WATER, and if a social service agent gets in there they will either help her out or place her kids somehwere where they can BATHE.

i know that might make the neighborhood tense for you, but it is what's best for the kids, and otherwise, I don't see this situation getting any better if she's left to fix her problems on her own.

Answer 9

You're not going to be arrested, so don't fret over that! You were being a nice neighbor and helping her out, but it sounds like she took it way too far! She may have children at home, but they are HER children and definitely not your responsibility! I would call child services right away, and report the situation. I highly doubt that they can do anything to you, but you might as well cover yourself just in case. It doesn't sound like she's going to do anything to take care of this on her own, besides taking advantage of her neighbors, so maybe you need to step in. Good luck with this! It sucks when you do something nice for someone and they walk all over you. I hope this all works out for the best!

Answer 10

Do you still have a parole officer? If so, contact him or her first. Explain the situation, tell them what you have been doing (providing water via a garden hose), what your neighbors told you (about the water getting shut off, and the threat) and what you witnessed (the unsanitary conditions and the smell).

If you have a good relationship with your PO (or you can contact another lcoal PO), then I'm sure they will understand your concerns for yourself and you willingness to help.