Should I be mad at her for lying?

Question

Should I be mad at her for lying?
ok, wife and i did a little swapping w/ a couple ,who are now still friends, but I wasn't as attracted to the woman as she was to the husband. We stopped seeing them swapping, but my wife continued to talk w/ him, behind my back, and contuinued to lie about it when i would ask her if in fact she was. I found out a month later while paying the phone bill and seeing his number. she would call him sometimes 3 or 4 times a day. how should i react, she said it was nothing and that they were just friends and only talking about stuff , nothing else..

Answer 1

You shouldn't have swapped becuase you are too jealous for it. And if you lie to her, you are going to get all kinds of **** however girls hold double standards over guys, so she will somehow turn it into your fault. I think you are screwed, and not in the good way!

Answer 2

You should have thought this swapping partners thru more carefully and you wouldn't be in the position you find yourself in now!! Don't blame her for everything that has happened this is also on you too. Think about it what if you were more interested in the wife then she was in the husband..what would you have done??? As far as I am concerned swapping partners is an ingredient to destroying your trust in your marriage and that is the most important part of a marriage. Good Luck!!!

Answer 3

What do you expect to happen when you let eachother screw other people. It is not a good idea to get involved in swapping if your in a commited relationship, for the exact reason this happened. Lets say you were more into that woman the tables might have be turned.

I suggest that if you either dont swap anymore, marriage is meant to be between 2 people not 4. If you wanted other people, you should not have married. (just my opinion though)

Answer 4

This is a prime example of what happens when couple "swap".

So... now there is a trust issue between you two. And I really see only two options:

1 - get into some marriage counceling TODAY. Hopefully things will work out.

2 - get a divorce.

Thats it.... and in the future.. when involving other people in you sex life - if you are married.. its best to keep those as fantasies and not live them out.

Answer 5

Well, when you put yourself in a situation like this, you can only expect the worst. You should know that when you swap couples with someone you should be able to understand the consequences of this... you knew that she could like this person and she could possibly be behind your back because she has decided she wants this other guy. You are in NO POSITION to be mad or even upset, because what you both did is wrong, and you can't blame her, because you both had sex with other people, and you weren't being faithful in the first place.

Answer 6

I would be concerned about the fact that she needs to lie to you. Unfortunately IMHO this is the side affect of swapping partners. You can never be sure from that day on..........

It is possible they are only talking and that she did just find him easy to talk to. If this is the case perhaps it is time to find out how to talk to her so she doesn't need to talk to someone else. And IMHO I would discontinue any more swapping with anyone and just concentrate on how to make your relationship more fulfilling for both of you or .....let go and find the right partners.

Answer 7

Well first..I hope you've decided that by swapping, you are setting yourselves up for your marriage to fail. Trust me....I know.......but, you knew going into this that the opportunity was there for this to happen. Did you discuss the chances and how you would deal with it before hand?
Ask her what it is that keeps her wanting to talk to him......have you asked her to stop? If she lied about talking to him...then she is lying for a reason. Talking isnt anything to be ashamed of...but still sleeping with him would be a reason to lie. If you can talk to the other woman, ask her if she has seen anything out of the ordinary?..you said they are friends still. You need to talk to her and try to get ahold of this before its too late.....please..... I've been there. Good Luck !!!!

Answer 8

Whose idea was it to playing swapping games in the first place? This is the chance you take, guy. It's a gamble and it sounds like you lost. Ask her point blank if she is in love with this man. She has some issues to work out, and she can't do it if she's expending a lot of energy into lying about it.

Answer 9

You two should've never crossed that line with swapping. You were committed to each other and you both broke that commitment willingly. All I can suggest is marriage counseling. If it doesn't work, you may end up parting ways. I hope you learned your lesson from this experience.

Answer 10

Ok a little advice you do not swap with no one because these things happen. Im 99.9% sure she still see's him but you cant blame her its both your fault. If I were you I would talk to her and let her know if she is seeing him and to let you know and you wont be mad if she says yes then you guys are better off not together. If you dont want things to happen 2 things you can do avoid them or dont bring them upon yourself. Goodluck hope things work out

Answer 11

yeah you should be mad, first of all because she doesn't respect you enough from lying about talkin to the guy, if she calls him once or twice a week to chat with hm that shouldn't be a problem.

but 3-4 times a day (sometimes as you said) this seems to be panning out as a lot more than a "friendship" kind of deal.

and "talking about stuff" could mean anything, sex or otherwise.

you need to talk to her about it and let her know that you're uncomfortable with it, and set some boundaries with her, if she can't agree with it then you prob'ly need to get counseling or cut her loose.