I am having problems with my daughter, i have been for 10yrs now and i keep trying to do the right thing and keep her with me and my other 3 daughters, but the other day she went to school and told the officer there that i was burning her with cigarettes, the officer knew it was not true, but i am now afraid of her....i would never tell her that, once before when she was 8 she did the same thing and i lost all of my kids for 2yrs...because they believed her.....this time i am thinking of relinquishing my rights to her and i am feeling bad...but if i don't the way she is going i could loose my kids again and i don't want to go threw that again. I love my daughter but as each day goes on i do not believe that she feels the same way. I have had DCF to my house more times then i can count...when i was a single parent now i have married a wonderful man whom cares for them all...but i am afraid she will use him for her next plot....i don't want that to happen, i could use some help
please
2006-11-02 06:21:53 · 11 answers · asked by firstladik02 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
i forgot to mention she has been to numerous counselors i have even put her in a home.....she wants to be with her dad which is not a good idea because he is in and out of jail...just got out 1mth ago already back in.
2006-11-02 06:35:56 · update #1
Wow. I'm not sure that anyone will really have an answer to all of that, but one thing to try for sure is going through the courts to find a good councellor for her. If that doesn't work, you could always consider a boot camp. My brother attended one after going through alot and putting my family through hell and back. He's a changed person because of it. If it comes down to her using your husband in one of her "plots", I would seek help from a paid professional. If she is lying to hurt you, there has to be something going on in her head that makes her think that it's ok to do. I hope this helps in any way.
2006-11-02 06:29:52 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
While I agree that you need to deal with your daughter you should also remember that the reason you can press charges against the 23 year old is because he took advantage of a child. While she may have had some say, he is old enough to have influential authority and you should keep that in mind. With this kind of situation I would suggest seeing a counselor together as a family. She is either rebelling or crying out for attention and either issue should be addressed appropriately. Punishment will drive her away at this age and from her behavior I think you should be seeking a way to bring her closer to you.
2016-05-23 18:22:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother and his wife were in the same boat. Finally they had to give her up. She lied on a friend of theirs and almost sent him to prison. Her next target was my brother(her step father). She would bang her head into things, make bruises on her body and then try and say he had done this. Her grandmother(maternal) took custody. She is 14 now. She came to their house not long ago and became angry with her mother. She was being very disrespectful. My brother asked her politely to return to her home. She started throwing dishes and cursing. She had bruises all over her legs from her boyfriend biting her. When the police got to the house she showed these bruises and said my brother did it. They were not fresh but the police didn't care. We had to get her boyfriend to talk to the police. This child has been evil like this since she was 2. Sometimes I think there are just a few real life Bad Seeds born. I know she is one. She is no longer welcome in her parent's home. I know it's hard but you need to take steps fast. Think of your other children. The good of the many outweighs the needs of the one. Hard to tell what she will cook up on your husband. I wish you strength. My niece has been in intensive counseling for years. She has had residential treatment also. Nothing has helped. Whole family has gone to counseling.
2006-11-02 06:32:52 · answer #3 · answered by CuervoBMed 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she really needs professional help. I'm sure you are a great parent, but you are between a rock and hard place. I know when I was that age, my mom remarried and I hated the husband... could this be the possibility? She may want to live with her dad because she feels stable or because she just is very upset with you because maybe you don't pay attention to her, you should talk with a counselor yourself and decide what's appropriate, Best of Luck & May God Be With You!
2006-11-02 06:46:34 · answer #4 · answered by Ashley_Nicole 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a sad sad case. i hate to say it but you have three other children that need you and i think that you should either send her to something like a place for children who misbehave or something like that. maybe there is a relative that she would rather stay with. you could sit her down and ask her what is the real reason that she tells these lies and try to come up with some type of conclusion that suits the both of you. there may be something that she wants that could resolve the entire problem or maybe she is just a troubled (instead of saying bad) child. Good Luck
2006-11-02 06:28:50 · answer #5 · answered by chrisarea_99 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She need to be in counseling, and I am surprise that was not one of her requirements, when she came home, do you still have the social worker, who was assigned to the case? If not you have to speak to some one in authority, the school, can do this. Work on this soon, so you can have your back covered. Your child need help. She may have mental health issues. If you ask her why she is doing this, she would not be able to tell you! Please do not put this off, do this not only for yourself, but for the whole family! I hope and pray, everything works out for you!
2006-11-02 06:42:02 · answer #6 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
14 is a really tough age. I know, I had 4 of them. :-)
Before relinqishing her, can you first try sending her to counseling and also yourself. There is something she is hateing, and it may be she's hateing herslf and taking it out on you.
IF you can't control her, and she likes putting you into trouble, let her see what it's like to be in a foster home. It's not a bag full of fun in them either.
Try the counseling first. You may find out things, you don't know about.
2006-11-02 06:30:50 · answer #7 · answered by peggin_beast 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
has she been seen by a psychotherapist maybe she is bipolar or schizophrenic which could easily explain these storys it's your responsibility to find out before you go making a life long decision like that, this is your kid so dont give up on her she needs you.
2006-11-02 07:37:31 · answer #8 · answered by howie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok well i am 14 and i have to admit that alot of kids get that way maybe she is looking for sumthing from you and she feels ignored i unno what has happened to her but you mite wanna talk to her and ask her if she isnt ltelling u sumthing i was that way but i am fixing things now that im getting help so maybe all she needs is help
2006-11-02 06:36:01 · answer #9 · answered by love_lost 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She needs some serious counseling. Call her doctor, he can get things started. I'm surprised its gone on this long.
2006-11-02 06:27:16 · answer #10 · answered by tinamaries43 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋