Does your two-year-old sleep through the night?

Question

Our son just turned two. He's never really slept through the night.
We had a great bedtime routine, but he would still wake up crying at least once or twice a night - sometimes more.

About ten days ago he started completely rebelling bedtime. He isn't interested in stories, he gets mad and interrupts when we sing songs. Our daycare reports he has started crying at naptime, too. To a lesser degree he is also refusing bathtime (which he loves) and meal time (he's a great eater and usually runs to the table). He's been to the Dr's and there doesn't seem to be an underlying medical problem.

We thought we should keep the routine going, and put him in bed at the usual time and let him cry. However, he has been crying until he is dry-heaving and choking while violently jumping up and down in his crib screaming "I don't want this!!" After an hour he is nowhere near sleep, his face is purple and he is gasping for air.

I just can't believe this is the only way.

His dad thinks most if not all kids should sleep through the night by now and that we must be doing something wrong. I'm inclined to think it's normal, but I want to know other parents' experiences.

Our routine at bed time is to pick two books, one for each of us to read him, then sing a few songs together (ABC's, Twinkle Twinkle) then he used to get right up so we could have night night kisses & bedtime. He would almost always snuggle up with a stuffed animal and go to sleep. Now he contorts and totally freaks out.

Answer 1

My youngest son is now four. He did not sleep through the night consistently until almost 3yrs old. He was up at least once each night, sometime a couple times. My older 2 were not like this at all. I have decided that this is just his personality and the way he's made.
Some things you may consider at bed time:
He is 2 yrs old and he will try to take control over anything he can. Bedtime is one of those things they will always attempt to disrupt. Welcome to parenting a preschooler! Be consistent! Keep with the same routine, then put him in his bed, turn out the light and leave. When he protests, say "good night" and leave. When he gets out of bed, put him back and leave. This can be exhausting for a while, but believe me consistency will win, don't give in.
For us I have learned that we need an evening that is physical. We play outside, I walk him with the dog (ha!) we like to play wrestle, anything physical is good for him, he's a boy and he has abundant energy he really needs the outlet.
Then a warm bath is always good after a fun evening. This helps sometimes when he is very wound up and I can't seem to get him to stop and relax.
Whatever method of training you use, time out, spanking, diversion, etc. it needs to come into play when he is disobedient and refuses to do what he is asked. Especially if he (like mine) is strong willed and is constantly trying to get his own way!
Good luck!!!

About the screaming and such he does in his crib, just make sure you are not going back into his room repeatedly to check on him (believe me I know this is heart wrenching when your in the midst of it!) but everytime you open the door and check in on him you have reinforced that you will always come running if he screams hard enough. He will just continue to scream harder, yes dry heaving and turning colors... if you have come in to check him before he thinks surely you will do it again. After a couple of nights of not going back in to him, letting him cry himself to sleep, he will get the picture. This was very hard for me to do, but my hubby helped me by hugging me so I would not run back in, and it did work!

Answer 2

Research: 50% of American 3-yr-olds and 30% of British 3-yr-olds wake up at least once every night. Many wake up more than once and require attention before they go back to sleep.

Always do some research before you decide something is normal or abnormal.

I would not put a child through the events you describe. Rather than put up with it, I would go to the experts - pick up a book called Good night, sleep tight, by Kim West. She is known as The Sleep Lady.

There ARE ways to firmly re-establish a sleeping routine without 'giving in' to a child's demands, but allowing a situation to develop where a child is very distressed - as you describe - is not one of them.

You don't have to all go through misery to be good parents; read the plans this expert woman has written and there is one in the book for your situation. Apply it as written and things will get a lot better.

Good luck!

Answer 3

My daughter just turned one year old, and she has been sleeping through the night since she was about 7 or 8 months old.....she has 3 older sisters that she tries to keep up with, so I'm sure that makes a big difference... Let your son run and play until he is tired! The crying and screaming sounds like a temper tantrum to me.....2 is a good age to start laying down some guide lines and rules for him! Don't worry he will grow out of it, and it will get better!!!

Answer 4

my 2 year old sleeps through the night. But we have had our ups and downs.

If he is now refusing to take a bath and begin the routine, he might be having separation anxiety. It peaks in toddlers.

He might also be ready for a bed rather than crib. He might not be so afraid to go to sleep if he knew he could just get up and find you. (my daughter has been in a twin bed since 19 mos).

Answer 5

I have a 4 year old who has had similar issues, although maybe not to the same magnitude. One thing someone recently pointed out to me is that is that no matter what course you choose, make sure you see it to the end. Some of the things your son is doing reminds me of some of what I've experienced where my son has tried to manipulate and control a situation - why did he do that - because in the past it got him results. Make sure when you intend to discipline or enforce something you follow through and you never go back on your word.

Be consistent, things will get better.

Answer 6

My daughter is 15 months and she sleeps through the nights she started once she turned 6 months but you have to ignore him check on him to see if he is ok but he knows if he crys long enough you are going to come to his aid you have to stop that because right now he is showing you that he is incontrol and not you

Sleep is very important to growing kids so this is in your sons best intrest and its not health problem or anything he just does not want to go to sleep but you are the parent and you need to make him

Answer 7

You are describing my life! He only sleeps through the night when he is exhausted (No naps, a lot of physical activities). Also, I figured that in winter times he sleeps better. I think he likes to go to bed when it is dark. So, I just make sure the room is really dark in summer time

Answer 8

My son who just turned 2 starting sleepin through the night when he was about 7 months. My daughter slept through the night when she was 4 months. You might want to take him back to the doctor. Maybe he has night terrors. Good Luck.

Answer 9

does he take long naps?? that will effect the sleep habits at night if he attends daycare I would tell them not to allow him to sleep hours a day especially in the after noon,

Answer 10

You just described my daughter. all of the above just keep to your schedule and dont over react when he has a fit. hang in there and it gets better as time goes on also do not listen to your husband when giving childcare advice they dont know. is all your hair turning grey mine is i hate terrible twos.