My boyfriend is East Indian and I am American. We have been dating for 5 months now and things are going great.... except for one thing. He has not told his friends/roommates that we are dating because he is afraid of being outcasted by the group. He lives with 3 other guys, so I can understand that, however, we have recently run into issues. While walking in the store, he saw his friends and dumped me and just walked off with them. I was so embarrased and upset. Should he tell them to avoid situations like this in the future? Is there another plan that we can come up with to avoid this kind of thing? Are there other consequences of telling his friends that he is not being straightforward about?
2006-11-02 05:32:08 · 32 answers · asked by mightymouse9791 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
yes
2006-11-02 05:33:38 · answer #1 · answered by TERMITE 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
There are a lot of missing details. He threatened to kill himself, but you guys liked each other so he asked you out? That makes no sense. Were you playing games with him or something and driving him crazy before he asked you out. Anyways that aside, you already know the answer. His friends literally hate you right now so he needs to fix that, especially if you are being potentially threatened. If he genuinely likes you, then he needs to talk to his friends and tell them to respect the relationship. You don't seem like an idiot, so obvisouly you know that is very unusual to have to hide a relationship, that will never work out. I think you should ask yourself what you are doing with a guy who tried to kill himself. He should not be in a relationship. This is clearly an unstable guy. If you ever break up with him, he will probably do it again. I think he needs to get help first and foremost and you should stop worrying about how it affects you. This is a sick guy. He has some mental issues that need to be ironed out.
2016-05-23 17:59:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i think that he might be embarassed by you, and if he cant even tell his friends then thats probley the case. confront him about the problem because if he doesnt even want to show u to his friends than maybe he doesnt want other people to no cus hes embarassed.he cant just ditch u like for his friends. even if things r goign great this is a big issue so i say u should just dump him. another plan that u and him should come up with if he still doesnt want to tell his friends it just like avoid certain area where everybody hangs out. i dont understand why he would be outcasted though good luck
-jen
2006-11-02 05:36:38 · answer #3 · answered by Dana 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should dump him?! If he's not telling his friends there is a serious problem. Why date someone who is ashamed of you?! People of different origins date all the time. If he can't handle the pressue of 'dating' you then do you think he is ever going to get more serious with you? There's no future there - get out while you can.
2006-11-02 05:36:35 · answer #4 · answered by Scorpio 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is the year 2006. Race should not be an option anymore and if he has friends that are that narrow minded, I would look at who HE really is to like those kinds of friends. If they were real friends they would be there for him no matter what the situation was.
2006-11-02 05:36:03 · answer #5 · answered by clawbeaja 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your bf is not being straight with you. There's something else going on--- either he's got another woman, or he's embarrased by you.
Sounds like he needs an ultimatum-- 5 months is long enough to have shared info about your romance with his friends.
Good Luck, sweetie!
2006-11-02 05:35:37 · answer #6 · answered by Cindy S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he should be honest about his relationship with you. If i were you I'd be very upset and offended that he felt the need to hide me. He is too worried about what others think, if they are truly his friends they would want him to be happy and support his decisions to date outside his race. That shouldn't matter to his friends. What kind of future will you two have if he can't be open about his relationship now.
2006-11-02 05:36:46 · answer #7 · answered by strtat2 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why would you date someone who is ashamed of being with you?
If he wants to comply with East Indian standards of dating, he should GO BACK where he came from.
We are a melting pot. If he doesn't want to blend in or assert your relationship, then he is a spineless coward.
Who would even want to be with a man like that?
2006-11-02 05:35:07 · answer #8 · answered by ssssss 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
either you are his girlfriend ALL the time or NONE of the time. Don't settle for SOME of the time. Tell him you feel disrespected, and if he really cared for you, he would be able to extole your good qualities to his friends. If he acts like he is ashamed of you, then his friends automatically pick up on that too.
I say talk to him about it, but if he wont budge, then you need to move on.
2006-11-02 05:35:42 · answer #9 · answered by Rum_Punch_Girlie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...where the hell are you? It takes like 20 seconds for everyone to know if a couple is going out. Even if no one says anything I take one look at two people looking at each other and I can tell if they are attracted to one another.
2006-11-02 05:34:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's not telling them...something is up. My b/f is Middle eastern and so are most of his friends...yet he proudly proclaims that he has "switched to the American Devil" and is with me. When a guy isn't eager to tell his friends all about you, means he's not really into you and/or he's hiding something.
2006-11-02 05:44:08 · answer #11 · answered by nyrockfan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋