What is a nice way to tell friends and extended family that we won't be buying Christmas gifts this year?

Question

I looked for an Emily Post version to copy and paste, but apparently she doesn't address this topic. Looking for something in between "We're broke - so no presents!" and "What the heck is she talking about????!!!????" Something simple, with a little tact and flair, that won't make people feel like we should be their Christmas Angels this year.

Thanks!

Answer 1

You know, the truth is always good etiquette. You can tell them exactly what you put in your question.
You might send cards to the family and friends that you are excluding, and say this:

Dear Aunt Meg,
Merry Christmas!
I surely hope we can get together for a visit this holiday season. We fondly remember Uncle Bob playing the piano in years past.
Jim, the kids and I are trying to recapture the true meaning of xmas. First, as a religious observance. Family togetherness, happy memories, less merchandise, and more love and sharing. We want to start a new family tradition: spending the time and money on visits and great food, instead of showering each other with silly presents.
Isn't that a great idea?
In that spirit, I hope you know we love you, and miss you. We would love for you to come to the house for coffee and dessert one evening. We'll call you later to make a date.
See you soon.
Love, your neice, Denise.

I would LOVE to get a letter like that!

Answer 2

I feel your pain, it gets more and more expensive to give gifts as the years go by. Here is what we do, we get our family pictures taken every year and for the parents and grandparents we include a nice frame. Family is what is important during the holidays and if you ask any parent or grandparent they will tell you they don't need any gifts and that you are their gift. I am seriously considering skipping gift giving all together one year and take the $$ that we would spend and go to a shelter and volunteer for those who have nothing. My kids would learn alot and it would take the commercialization of the holiday out all together.


Write each person an personalized letter telling them how much they mean to you and how they impact your life and that even though there is a shortage of money this year there is no shortage of love in your heart for them.

Answer 3

Tell them that the most beautiful gift you can give them is you presence. Then, write up a note with a little nice phrase or a poem excerpt for each family member (perhaps even write your own poems and wishes). Make them sincere. They will appreciate it.
Money need not be involved in Holiday Spirit celebration :)
This is what my family has been doing - make everyone aware of the fact that instead of buying gifts this year, they should get together and pitch in $20 (or so) each to some sort of a good and noble cause... charity, someone in need. Now THAT'S Holiday Spirit :)

Answer 4

Suggest doing a Kris Kringle or Secret Santa and just get a gift for one person. Also, put a spending limit on the gift.

It can be alot of fun. If you've got ten bucks to spend, thats 10 neat little gifts from the dollar store!
Most people will be willing to do a secret santa, because they dont want to be spending crazy money or spending their whole holiday buying gifts either!

Answer 5

I had this problem one year. What I ended up doing was making "Friendship Tea." It's an orange flavored instant tea mix that I've yet to hear a single complaint about. Find some cheap containers (air-tight ones are best with a rubber lip, or line a tin can with a ziploc bag) at a Dollar Store, make the tea, insert one and a half or two cups of the tea mix into the container, and Viola! You're done. "What's a cup of tea between friends... that's you and me!"

INGREDIENTS
1/2 cup instant tea powder
1 cup sweetened lemonade powder
1 cup orange-flavored drink mix (e.g. Tang)
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
DIRECTIONS
In a large bowl, combine instant tea, lemonade powder, orange drink mix, cinnamon and clove. Mix well and store in an airtight container.
To serve, Put 2 to 3 teaspoons of mix in a mug. Stir in 1 cup of boiling water. Adjust to taste.

Answer 6

Be very frank and honest about your situation and let them know the financial burden is too much this year. Maybe you could make them a gift bag of homemade sweets or fruit. If they are family and extended family you should be able to let them know and they should understand. If your having Christmas dinner with them then take an extra dish something special. Christmas is about family and loving on another. Not about how much you spend or don't spend.

Answer 7

Why not suggest a Secret santa type thing? One for a group of friends and one for family? That way you need only buy for who you pick. Just put a limit on money.

You can also tell everyone you are saving up for something and just can't go nuts this year and tell them you expect the same from them if they want to buy for you. You can also just make cookies or some kind of treat that will cost very little money.

Answer 8

at least give a Christmas card with a family picture taken by you not by a paying photo place and insert it into the card. In the card explain how this year your money is tight and all U can give this year is your love only and not gifts that would put u further into the hole. After all, Christmas is all about love and Jesus not gifts...society came up with all that crap many years back. Do a research on Christmas and Santa Clause...it is really interesting.

Answer 9

Drawing names works well for my family. Each Thnaksgiving if we want to be included in the drawing we write our name down on the list and set a price range for everyone. The list gets cut up and each person who is playing draws a name. you get one name and you go shopping/baking for that one person. On Christmas we all get together and exchange our gifts. It's actually much nicer because you know whoever drew your name put a lot of thought into the one gift.

Answer 10

Just tell them, you two have to many bills to catch up on, people don't really care about gifts. Well some maybe. A cheaper way is to bake cookies, or put together a nice treat basket. My family cut out the gift buying 5 years ago. We only buy for our children.