My girlfirend accused me of lying. I told her I did notknow what she was talking about. She said she knew there was something but not sure what. Said she knew me well enough to know I was hiding something. I sent her a text saying please do not text or phone cos I will delete the messages. BUT I have this week spent time showing a girl (I had a brief fling with) and her boyfriend round my country. I told my ex nothing of this. But did say I was doing nothing at the wekend when she asked..... thats when I then sent her the text to get her off my back. Did not want to tell her cos she would probably have made a fuss. Anyway is a man allowed no secrets? Told her I had no idea whatshe was on about and to leave me alone. Was I allwrong or is she wrong too....I think she is.....why could she not just believe me and save all this fuss.
2006-11-02 05:17:30 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
There was really no need for this to escalate as it has. You could have just told her you were going to be spending the week showing some old friends, who are a couple, round your country. She has picked up that there is something wrong and now the two of you are at odds with each other. Had you been upfront with her and told her what was going on, the ball would have been in her court as she would have had to trust you. I think if you want still to be with her, you will need to explain to her that you were showing some old friends round (say they are a couple) and that you were not sure whether to tell her or not, since you used to date the female half of the couple, a long, LONG, time ago. Even if you do think she was totally in the wrong, I think it would be politic for you to apologise nicely to her for not having trusted her to trust you. I think it would be very difficult for her to answer that one without looking bad herself.
2006-11-02 05:55:12 · answer #1 · answered by Specsy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Simply put if the female does in fact know you then she probably knew you were hiding something. We women can tell these things. Number two if this girlfriend of yours was not in the picture when you had this "fling" then why not just tell her about it. There is no secrets between man and wife. Unless of course you intend to get back together with this ex-fling. Women view keeping secrets from us as a form of lieing. However if she makes a big stink over it when it happened before she became a part of the picture in your life and you have no intentions of another fling then you should have invited her to go along. In that respect you were in the wrong. If you intend to have a committed relationship with her number one she needs to mature and you both should seek marriage counseling before marriage.
Open and honest communication is the only good grounds for a perminent relationship. If you have no intentions of a perminent relationship then let the female know it and move on.
You were both in the wrong to a point but you were the one that started the problem in the first place by not being up front and honest about your past.
Better luck the next time around.
2006-11-02 05:54:50 · answer #2 · answered by Warrior 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If u really lo9ve this girl, U wouldn't have any fling with any other girl. If u want to save urself fuss, open up to ur girl and save the poor girl. I think she really likes u but u dont. I f u think u're done with her, why dont u let her know insteading of snapping at her.
2006-11-02 06:29:07 · answer #3 · answered by teemah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
But you lied to her? Don't get me wrong everyone is entitled to some privacy but to lie and then get snappy when she suspects something is wrong (you're obviously not a very good liar btw)... is totally wrong. Talk to her. Communicate. If you had done that in the first place you wouldn't be asking this question.
2006-11-02 05:25:03 · answer #4 · answered by Fay 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should've just told her the truth instead of snapping at her and telling her to get off your back. You just gave her a reason to be suspicious even if it was nothing. You need to work on your communication skills.
2006-11-02 05:21:01 · answer #5 · answered by Maureen B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Privacy is one thing but secrets? Why weren't you just upfront with her? If u told me not to text or phone, I'd back off so fast you'd never catch up with me. Stop being a jerk.
2006-11-02 06:14:58 · answer #6 · answered by F 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should always tell the truth because if you get found out lying then she will not trust you and then she will be accusing you of everything.
2006-11-02 05:30:01 · answer #7 · answered by MANC & PROUD 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she is the one who is lying and can't deal with her own issues and has decided to make you the bad guy in this relationship. Do whatever makes you happy man.
2006-11-02 05:22:10 · answer #8 · answered by FunBetty! 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It all sounds like one big mess, that has just got bigger and bigger over nothing, you and your gf need to sit down and work it out especially if you wont to be together, cheers and good luck.
2006-11-02 05:30:36 · answer #9 · answered by donua1022 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You could have avoided all that if you had been up front in the first place...deceit has no place in a relationship...
2006-11-02 05:21:44 · answer #10 · answered by Pooks 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋