My BFF is pregnant and I always hear her say how great their relationship is. He's a nice guy and they're always all "mushy" with each other. She found out she was pregnant a few days ago and is scared to tell him. She feels like the relationship is too weak to introduce a baby into it, she isnt financially stable and she doesnt want a baby. The big thing is they had a "birth control talk" a couple weeks ago and assured him everything was ok since she's on the pill. She SWEARS she took them like she was suposed to and didnt miss any. She thinks he'll feel like she's trying to trap him into the relationship. They've been together for less than 2 months (they're both 22) . Do you think she should include him in the decision or just have the abortion without ever mentioning it to him. I think if she really wants to kill the baby, thats her personal decision- which i disagree with, but she at least tell the guy. What are your thoughts on this and have you ever dealt with anything like this
2006-11-02 05:05:47 · 30 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
OMG, it is your obligation to tell him about the baby. I am personally pro-choice, but he should definately know. I would hate to be in his situation and find out years later that I could have a had kid.... tell him, please, tell him. Maybe this can be the thing that changes his life, you never know.
2006-11-02 05:11:40 · answer #1 · answered by valerie m 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
Wow! ok before she does this she should consider the psychological effect this is going to have on her for the rest of her life. Some women never recover mentally from an abortion. If she cant talk to him about it then ask her if she really wants to be in a relationship where she is scared of voicing her feelings? Now tell her to pray and answer will come to her. She should talk to him about it and let him know what she wants to do and how she feels. This is when a mans real character becomes known. He could either help her work through this or chicken out this will show her who he really is not only as a man but as a person and how much he truly cares about her and her well being. Because after all abortions can have a negative effect on a person.
2006-11-02 05:15:11 · answer #2 · answered by M 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
She should definately tell him, it is the mature and fair thing to do.
He has a right to know, because even though it isn't his body, it is still his baby.
If they are both 22 and old enough to have sex, then he should be mature enough to know or be told that even the pill isn't 100% effective, so he shouldn't feel like she is trying to trap him, especially if she wants an abortion.
She should think more and over a longer period of time about what she wants to do about the baby and discuss it with him, abortion isn't the only way to deal with pregnancy.
2006-11-02 05:17:55 · answer #3 · answered by ~Lin~ 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
People the first thing to mind....BE RESPONSIBLE! Stuff the pill and use condoms or better get married and there will be no problems at all. But yes he made the dissection to sleep with her or they together so yes he have too know about it,and whey kill something or someone they both made.. If they want to be crown UPS they have to take responsibility. Think of that child who also want to be on earth, to have a Chance..... If you play with fire you'll get burned. And yes who am i to talk I'm 22 as well, but even children in primary school will know what to do. Good luck to friend!
2006-11-02 05:17:58 · answer #4 · answered by CHRISTIAN C 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
because of the fact it relatively is her physique, basically. specific, he helped get her pregnant, yet then this is the top of it until she supplies start. Having somewhat one remains risky to a female's wellness. as quickly as you get a uterus to hold somewhat one in, then we are able to have a communique approximately precisely what rights you have over my physique. a million. If my mom had desperate to have an abortion while she replaced into pregnant with me, it relatively might have been her determination. and actually, 28 years later, i does no longer care because of the fact i does no longer be right here to care. 2. it is not killing a "infant" until it relatively is been born. Up until I provide start, this is a fetus. verify your technology. 3. Out of all of those couples who can't have babies, what number of those do you think of may well be keen to advance a heavily handicapped infant which will require astronomical quantities of funds to advance? i'm no longer saying there are none available, however the % is in all probability incredibly low.
2016-11-26 23:46:56 · answer #5 · answered by glasow 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its her body and she has the right to do with it what she wants. She doesn't need to tell anyone.
The ONLY time she would need to tell him about an unwanted pregnancy is if she wanted to have the pregnancy go to term. Then they guy needs to be told so that they can have a discussion about how he feels about that after being "assured" that there wasn't a possiblity of that happening - after all he will be responsible for 18 years of payments at the very least.
If anything should be said.. it could be said after - unless she wants him to go with her - in that he should also use protection as well to prevent this from happening again.
2006-11-02 05:12:45 · answer #6 · answered by .... 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would tell him. Abortion is a big deal. There can be complications resulting from this and lets say they end up together forever and she got the abortion and complications made it that she could not have kids? They made the baby together, they should make the decision together. That baby didnt ask to be conceived. I do not want to sound negative, or against abortion all together. But this is a decision too big and too important to be done secretively.
2006-11-02 05:12:16 · answer #7 · answered by MomOf2Girls 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
i think she needs to tell him! they need to sit down and talk about their options. the guy has the right to know! its really the girls decision because shes the one that has to carry the baby and go through all the pain but the guy has a little right to. maybe the baby will make there realtionship stronger! tell her to think of it as something them to can share together! they should be proud of what they can bring into the world! theres other options than abortion though if you are willing to spread your legs you have to be willing to take care of the responsibility that can come with it! if their not ready for a baby their not ready for sex accidents do happen and abortion isnt the answer!
2006-11-02 05:15:35 · answer #8 · answered by kittykat19889 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The decision is totally up to her. No one can make this decision for her and she will have to live with whatever decision she makes. The consequences can be life long. She may tell him about her being pregnant after she makes her decision about the pregnancy. He may or may not agree with her decision and try to convince her one way or the other and it may not be the best choice for her at this time.
2006-11-02 05:10:15 · answer #9 · answered by notfreeinnh 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i think by all means she should inform him on whats going on. because it is his child too and if she goes on with the abortion without him and he later finds out i think that will ruin the relationship more then just telling hin about the pregnancy and you can get pregnant on birth control. i really hope she decides to tell him i think that will be the best thing to do. well good luck to her and be there for her even though you disagree with her choice.
2006-11-02 05:11:20 · answer #10 · answered by juicy 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well i think that if she wants to have trust in her relationship and wants to have no type of secrets to hold back on him .she should tell him after all no matter what kind of birth control you use as an adult we all know some times they don't work .and as an adult you also know that when you have sex theres always a chance of getting pregnant unless you tie your tubes .........so since they had sex knowing this they should both be involved in what ever it is that they want to do ....................she should tell him .........and have him go with her if that's what there going to do .............what bothers me most is theres so many people out there that want a child so bad and cant have one and then theres people that god gives them a gift and they rip it out and throw it right back at him ..............but that's her body she should learn how to care for it better and avoid this happening again ....................good luck trying to get it across your friend
2006-11-02 05:18:47 · answer #11 · answered by mari 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋