My boyfriend wants to get married but I'm not 100% sure I want to marry him. I mean he is a great guy don't get me wrong but he is being a little too hasty about marrying me. We talked about it and I expressed my deepest feelings, he said that I was just nervous about the commitment. We've known each other for about 7 months is that long enough? I am soooo confused I want to make him happy but I don't want to be making a mistake. Or am I being too childish by delaying the wedding day?
2006-11-02 04:54:24 · 33 answers · asked by Donria 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The biggest mistake you will make in your life is, rushing into marriage, especially if you have second thoughts.Take your time, be sure!!!!!!!
2006-11-02 05:00:21 · answer #1 · answered by avery 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Follow your heart. If there is doubt, there can be two reasons: 1) Fear of committment. 2) You are truly not ready. It's up to you to decide which is your excuse. I've been with my Fiancee' for the exact same number of months. Our wedding is in July next year.
The time frame in which you two have been together should not dictate if you should postpone your engagement. Ever heard of love at first sight? That would be even more lucrative wouldn't you agree? Yet, couples who have been hit by that syndrome have surpassed years of happiness. I bet they didn't listen to anyone but their own hearts. Although, I'm sure they've endured plenty of comments like these you are reading. You are not being childish, you are just thinking about how long you two have been together. Would this even be an issue if you have been with him for 7 years rather than months? Of course it wouldn't. If you two are in love, why not. Why be together for years and do what married couples do and not be married? (Endulging in all that extra SIN) When you two could grow together as one and live life how it was designed. This is a matter of you letting fear get the best of you and ultimately allowing it to destroy what could possibly be the most beautiful thing. Let's say you two part and don't get married, will you get this opportunity again? You don't know. Life is too short to gamble with love.
Besides, think of others who would love to be in your shoes, those who have been with guys for years wishing that he would "pop" the question and it never arrives/d. What if you were one of those women, how would you feel then? I hope everything works out for the both of you. This is your decision, don't follow anyone's opinion, even this one. Pray about it. Be blessed.
2006-11-02 06:18:21 · answer #2 · answered by Leo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you are defiantly not being childish. Obviously you don't feel the same way about the relationship that he does, and its better not to go into a LIFETIME commitment with someone who you are not fully committed too. Just because you’re his number one, doesn't mean he's yours. With the North American divorce rate at 50% it defiantly shows that there is a problem with couples getting married to hastily. One of the main arguments that couples have when there marriage falls apart is "he/she wasn't who I thought they were". The first two years of being in a relationship is when the couple is on their best behaviour. Imagine all the things you don't know about him, maybe he has a nasty temper, a wandering eye, mental stability problems, or the two of you just generally don't get along as well as you thought. And no, opposites generally don't attract. Every good, stable, long-lasting relationship evolves people who share something in common, other then sex. When you get married you have to be entirely sure about, no doubt. Obviously you are not. And NEVER, EVER compromise your desires to make someone happy. In your world, you are number one (until you have children) and should not be living for the satisfaction of someone else but yourself. He's probably just hooked on the current thrill and excitement of the relationship. Wait until things get routine, do you think he'll honestly still be as enthusiastic about your marriage? I doubt it. My best advice to you is to tell him that you aren't ready, and that if he really loves you he will wait for you. If he's really the one, his love will stand the test of time and so will yours. Hope this helps!
2006-11-02 05:10:56 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
7 months is not long enough I mean thats not even long enough for you to say you actually love someone and know the person. He is rushing and that can be a bad thing and you don't want to get into something and then end up regreting it u know You should wait until you are ready and if he don't respect that then you two don't need to get married im only 17 but i know what I am talking about because my parents made the same mistake and they are divorced so trust me
2006-11-02 05:00:07 · answer #4 · answered by Baby Gurl 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I dont think your being childish at all....it takes two to make a couple,and two to get married. You shouldnt have to be scared of doing what you want,espicallay something this big thats going to change your life forever. I mean whats the use of getting married to this guy that you dont know 100% you wanna marry?In the end things prolbably wouldnt work out anyways. You need to be 100% sure before you make any life changing answer like that.And an example your boyfriend shouldnt be pressuring you to marry him or tryign to change your opinion. Noone can make this decision but you. Just listen to your heart.Good Luck!
2006-11-02 04:58:08 · answer #5 · answered by crazy_lil_thang709 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seven months is not a long enough time to know if you should marry this person. I've been with my guy for about a year now and I feel like there is still so much to learn about him and about us. if you are having second thoughts please dont rush into anything and if he really loves you and does want to spend the rest of his life with you he will be more than willing to wait until you are good and ready. Because if he doesnt and you marry him he is going to end up spending the majority of his time trying to convince you that marrying him was a good idea versus making you truly happy. Good luck and dont do anything you are not emotionally ready for : )
2006-11-02 05:03:12 · answer #6 · answered by M 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
7 months and you're already thinking about marriage? WHOA! Are you sure about this? I mean, that's really not that long enough to get to know a person truthfully and deeply (these days especially). Why rush things? Why not date a little longer? If you are this "iffy" about things, and if he's afraid of committing to you, then neither of you are ready for the serious step of marriage. Marriage is taken lightly these days, but it's still a serious matter. You're supposed to spend your lives together. Are you sure you know him and love him well enough to take that step? If not, then date (or in my opinion, just be friends) longer than 7 months!
2006-11-02 04:58:16 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
doubt means dont! doubt can be your best friend, it can prevent u from making a mistake. even though u love eachother you probably arn't ready if there are senses telling you otherwise. u could be just scared. 7 months is not really long enough to know eachother well enough to get married. there may be a reason behind why he is rushing and getting into things, u should talk to him about it. and if he doesnt respect your wishes then maybe he isnt the one after all
2006-11-02 04:59:16 · answer #8 · answered by Suzie R 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have to ask your not ready.You have only known him 7 months,you don't know all of him yet.If you want to stay married when you finally take the leap wait until you think you can't live another day without being married.This is not something you should jump into just because he is ready.People don't take marriage seriously enough anymore and thats a shame.It should be forever and always.Good luck!!
2006-11-02 05:13:28 · answer #9 · answered by coolkid 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girlfriend, 7 months is definitely too early to tell if you really, really love a guy, & especially too early to tell if I want to get married. Thats just my opinion. I think a couple should date or be in a relationship at least 1 yr before they decide what their next step of the relationship should be. Hope this was helpfull in some way.
2006-11-02 04:57:45 · answer #10 · answered by malu622 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
ur deffinitly not being childish. 7months isnt realy a long time. id wait a lill longer untill you go through some more dramatic expierences. things that could come up if you were married, and see how you both handel it. and in a few more months or longer, youll see if he is still into the idea of getting married
2006-11-02 04:59:20 · answer #11 · answered by Mel051293 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋