I am the mother of two little girls aged 4 and 1. I am also a full time student and have recently returned to work after two years. I have a very supportive husband and family but I find i have overwhelming feelings of guilt because I spend so much time away from my family. My four year old and I went through a lot when she was younger and I feel bad especially for her because she gets passed back and forth between her father and I. How can I find a better way of coping than breaking down in tears and how can I make it easier for my children? I want to make this all work but sometimes it feels hopeless. Anyone in my situation any advice would be great.
2006-11-02 04:49:47 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My oldest daughter is by my ex.
2006-11-02 05:03:32 · update #1
I'm a single parent, and have been since my daughter was an infant. Between work, school, and sports I feel like she & I hardly ever see each other.
So I try to make every minute I spend with her "quality" time. We hardly ever have the TV on, unless we're watching a movie together. We play lots of board games, go for long walks, and read together a lot. If I'm making dinner, I try to find ways she can help me in the kitchen. And hugs, lots of hugs.
We do what we have to do for the sake of our kids. The mistake I used to make was in looking to other families for what was "normal", or what I "should" do. Just do the best you can, always keeping the kids in mind, and you'll do fine. Don't let anyone else's idea of what your family should look like dictate your actions!
2006-11-02 05:00:11 · answer #1 · answered by 40yomama 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I sympathize with your situation. I also am a fulltime student with two girls. Ages 9 and 2. It is difficult to leave them. I made sure to pay top dollar for the best daycare so I would not worry. I guess you have to ask yourself if you need the education, if you can support your family without it. Sometimes tears are a good coping strategy as long as you can continue with your life when your finished. You might also try exercise like walking with the kids. I've cried while I was walking. In short, get your schedule down and write in meaningful time with the girls such as silly string wars and you will feel like you are having more time with them. Also, don't forget your husband, he misses you too.
2006-11-02 05:01:34 · answer #2 · answered by feliciadawn7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There have been plenty of studies done that have shown that it is not whether we work or stay at home that produces healthy kids. Healthy kids are produced by healthy parents. You are working and going to school. Bravo for you! You are setting an incredible example for your children and when you finish school you will have bettered all of your situations. This is a temporary time for you. So cheer up and look at it from the other perspective and when you have the time to spend, spend it joyfully. Let go of the guilt and be free to be what you are at this time.
2006-11-02 05:06:37 · answer #3 · answered by meoorr 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just every moment you have take advantage of it. Talk in the car, when you give them a bath, at the table. Let them help you cook dinner and clean up. I know they are small so it isn't much they can do but they will be spending time with you. Just remember you are doing this for the best. And don't listen to the people that say things like " i couldn't imagine working and not being home with my kids" blah blah blah. You do what you have to do to make it.
2006-11-02 05:21:08 · answer #4 · answered by faybe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can never get that time with your kids back, and you never know the instant that will arise that makes that day special, forget school for now stay with your kids do school later, when they get older and can't stand being with you. One parent works one parent stays with toddlers, no day-care is good enough, at least until they can talk and tell you what is going on, only grandmas and aunts, maybe a best friend, they are not cattle or pets. They are precious little girls who you are responsible for, and when that one-yr old takes it's first steps at day-care, oh well you missed it.
2006-11-02 05:14:54 · answer #5 · answered by Guy R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont work full time work part time and as far as school goes you need to do that not just for you but for your family. and you are lucky you have a supportive family not evreyone does.... and it isnt being passed back and forth between you and your husband it is spending time with each of you.... and a child needs that.
i work opposite hours from my husband... my son is in school all day and my daughter is home with me then i work nights..... my husband spends time with my son and i get my days off with him... so we are doing the same thing... only im not in school... hopefully soon though. and my family is also supportive in all that. they know it is done for them not just me.
2006-11-02 05:01:15 · answer #6 · answered by becca_2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
can you take your courses on line .. some colleges will let you take a few of them on line maybe you could check into that and remember what you are doing you are doing for your children to give them a better feature , just try to spend a little extra time on the week ends and good luck
2006-11-02 04:54:22 · answer #7 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋