If the father is not paying child support and is not seeing the baby, do you think I should just ask him to sign his rights away? Or is it better to make him take responsibilty and have to pay support or he will suffer the legal consequences?
I really don't want to deal with him forever and he is a stranger to my child. He is also a poor example as a father, one that I wouldn't want my son to emulate. However, I still don' t want him to "get off the hook", so to speak.
What would you do???
2006-11-02 04:49:42 · 19 answers · asked by hi :) 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I have this same problem. I have sole custody of my two children so what I say pretty much goes but he is responsible for child support which he doesn't pay. I call every month to the DHS office to get them working on my case. The more this guy realizes that he has to help support his kid the better. Let him do jail time, loose his license, not be able to buy a house. maybe he will be fine with it, but think of all the hard time you have raising your child and the things they do without because he doesn't take care of his responsibilities. You dint have to deal with him since he isn't making an effort to be part of your kids life, but he shouldn't get off scott free while you struggle and your child does without. Remember the money is to help your child live a good life and have the necessities that we all need in this world, its not a hand out.
2006-11-02 05:04:21 · answer #1 · answered by mudd_grip 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
that is a toughy if he really isnt a good father and you would rather him stay away I would say make him sign over his rights maybe you'll meet a man who will be an awesome dad and he could take up the daddy role! at the same time you didnt get your self pregnant he did the crime and should pay the "fine" I hate that men think they can just walk away and leave us with the baby to raise all on our own
my aunt had a baby in Feb. and the father still hasnt come to see his daughter he has 2 other kids with an ex and sees them .. he is such scum he hasnt even told his parents that he has another baby or his kids they dont know they have a sister ... my aunt let him off the hook for child support for the first little while to help him out and he was supposed start paying in september and pay for the rest of the months with his tax return he wrote her post dated checks starting september then bounced them ... she is takeing him to court the really funny thing is she said she would give him a break and he could pay less then the grid amount but now that he is being a jerk she is going after the full amount ... I think for now I would take him to court and make him pay .. and if in the future I met someone that wanted to be "the father" and we got married . I would make him sign his rights so my husband could "adopted" and we could be a family that's just my opinion
2006-11-02 05:24:34 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In order to set a better example for your child you must do everything in your power to ensure that the other parent understands they are responsible for the upbringing and well being of the child too. The best interest of the child is what is the most important. Encourage visitation with the child, even if it is supervised. Plan a neutral outing with the child and the father. Get them involved and I assure you that the father will not be able to just walkaway without at least the memory! Your child deserves to know his other parent whether you like him or not. If you need help with collecting child support go to your local Department of Health and Human Resources and they will give you information on how to contact the Child Support Division a government organization that strictly handles collection with non supporting parents. It is that simple.
2006-11-02 05:11:06 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure a judge will let him just sign his rights away without good cause. I'm sure it depends on the state and the family/parenting plan laws in which you live. You can obtain full custody or soul custody in which he has to petition the courts to get rights to the child while still having to pay child support. It is a good idea to pursue child support as you will need the help somewhere along the way financially I'm sure. This is how I gained soul custody of my daughter. I went to child support, he was served and depending on where he lives (same state or not) he has a certain amount of time to respond to the paperwork. Chances are he won't since he's already made little effort in being in the child's life why would he put effort in trying to battle you in court. After that you win by default and you then have full custody AND he's court ordered to pay you child support. After that anything he wants changed ie: amount of child support or visitation or any kind of custody, he has to petition the court to do so. IF he did petition the court , you could respond to his petition and he would have to have good cause to change anything otherwise the courts won't even hold a hearing and throw it out.
2006-11-02 05:10:52 · answer #4 · answered by mother_flower 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if he is a jerk, then let him live his life and not be in you and your child's life making it miserable. Sure the ugliness doesn't rear its head until the child is born, but then the true (@!! hole) comes out. Don't let him skip on the child support, pursue it. You never know he might buy the farm and then your child can get social security and in most states when and individual over 18 has a lawsuit that settles, all of their back child support has to be paid before they receive their settlement proceeds. You didn't make the child by yourself so you should not have to support it by yourself. More than likely you will have to, but you never know which way fate will take you. Get your money, you don't have to deal with him, let the system, since he can't be a man on his own. Keep in mind there are a lot of sperm donors and very few fathers. Don't let him deter you. God Bless.
2006-11-05 21:31:37 · answer #5 · answered by Bethy4 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a good friend of mine had a similar situation with her son who is now 3. from the beginning, the father wasn't involved, didn't pay child support. the mother didn't think anything of it, and just let things be. then last year the father got married, started paying child support, and his new wife talked him into trying to take full custody of the child, because she doesn't like the mother. and now they're going through a huge custody battle, and it's not looking good for the mother, because she is unmarried, and the judge is biased against single mothers.
i'm not saying that this is what happens every time, but it is a possible outcome if you continue to do nothing. you should at least talk to a lawyer and go to court to decide on visitation and child support. if he doesn't pay, then he's not allowed to see the baby. or you could possibly file for abandonment, depending on what your state's laws are. just find some legal way to protect your custody of your baby. good luck!
2006-11-02 05:05:27 · answer #6 · answered by LoriBeth 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you won't be able to easily signal over your rights because you don't want to pay baby help or have something to do with the youngster. I understand that you're disillusioned and that you're feeling that you've been pushed into being a father to a baby your didn't want, yet to be straightforward in case your did not wan the youngster, why did you've sex such as her contained in the first position? also why did not you make the most of a few type of protection? I recommend those days you should experience free that the in basic terms component to procure became a toddler and not in any respect AIDS! seem be a guy, visit courtroom and tell the choose that you quite do not want something to do with this youngster, yet when paying baby help retains you from having the different duty, then i imagine your gonna ought to pay. i do not trust the way you imagine, yet whats up to each and each and every his own. good luck guy, your gonna want it!
2016-12-05 11:27:47 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is not paying child support have the courts go after him. In California even if he signs away parental rights he would still have to pay, because it is a state LAW. In most states the only way a father can be allowed to sign away rights is if the child is up for adoption either by a "step parent" or if the mother is putting the child up for adoption. I suggest you go after the child support.
2006-11-03 20:56:24 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through the same thing. Don't sign his rights away, make him pay the child support that your son deserves. As my son got older I use this money as his allowance. He never met his father and he is almost 30. His father paid child support all the time and I was able to use it for my son to do things I would not have had the money for. Travel, Art classes and many more things
2006-11-02 05:02:17 · answer #9 · answered by Nani 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest telling him to sign away his paternal rights if he has no interest in your child. Believe me, if he doesn't want to be responsible in EVERY aspect, then you can't make him. Sure, you can go to court for support, but even that won't guarantee that he will. It would probably be more of a hassle than you would like. Of course, he could turn around and want to spend time with your son if the courts make him pay, but I wouldn't count on it.
Besides, if he isn't a good example, you shouldn't care about him being "off the hook." The welfare of your son is more important than trying to "make" him pay......
2006-11-02 04:55:51 · answer #10 · answered by Hestia 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋