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Its beggining to annoy...me! ok, fine im your typical dont have a good family, never really felt love case. but....in a way i think ive manipulated peole with that. i want people to see what ive been thrugh and feel bad and try and help me. i want to feel sad because of what ive been through. only lately have i began to see that i have done these things. im tired of being selfish. its like i always look for an excuse to talk about something bad in my life and i always want ot be heard and have an opinion. i serioulsy think i muct be annoying to people. im kind of smiling cause i can see how stupid this all sounds. for real though, what thehell? why am i annoying myself and how do people stop this silly cycle?! it is hard because i have NO family love or support and i have put myself in situations all throughout life where i can be crapped on. almost a self fufilling prophecy. maybe i feel more taken care of if ppl know? i feel very selfish beceause of it.

2006-11-02 04:38:09 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health Mental Health

i want to take care of others and be there for them but i always take their problems and concern and apply them to my own life. then i will start crying about a time i felt that way. uggggg....im starting to think about how childish i seem. i really wan to let go but dont have a strong base inside of me.

2006-11-02 04:39:37 · update #1

8 answers

When no one feels sorry for you, then you feel sorry for yourself.
Its the attention that we get when we tell people of our past and how hurtful it is. The problem is that we wallow in our sorrow and never change things. Because then if we stop wallowing in self pity, what have we got? Then we have to grow up and work and be responsible and no one will give us the attention that we need. It is sort of like a high you get from people feeling sorry for you....I came from an alcoholic family and child abuse and marrying the wrong man....so I understand. When I feel unworthy or unimportant, I talk about my past to other people. I am wanting the to feel sorry for me. And when they do, and hug me or say I'm so sorry........I get a high. Like drugs. But then those people get tired of hearing it........so I have to find new people to tell my sad story or feel sorry for myself. Its really a cop out. Instead of improving myself and trying to move on, I stay and wallow. Its just an excuse for not bettering myself and not trying to do better......fear of failure.

2006-11-02 04:56:15 · answer #1 · answered by lucy p 2 · 0 0

It sounds like you are a bit depressed about your life, you have placed yourself firmly in the role of "victim" and now it is hard to let old habits die.

I imagine that people can get quite depressed while talking to you, why don't you change it around? Next time you speak to someone, tell them a joke or say something silly. It does not matter if it is superficial, a conversation should be an enjoyable experience and if it is, you too will get enjoyment and fulfillment from it.

You are never going to get anywhere by dwelling on the past sadnesses of your life, try rising above them. Wjat's done is done is done but whatever it is, it should be put behind you and not dwelt upon unnecessarily, you are only hurting yourself.

Good luck! And smile...it makes people wonder what you are thinking!

2006-11-02 12:58:47 · answer #2 · answered by Courage 4 · 0 0

You are the best to know why you always feel sorry for yourself. It's likely that this is coloring your attitude about life as well. Bad stuff happens, sometimes real bad. We deal...by getting help, talking to friends, etc. But we make the choice as to the kind of attitude we have. I have gone through a lot of "pity parties" myself and I know that it does not make anything better...and it also tends to serve as a deterent to having others around or caring about me. So smile, pretend, whatever you need to do, but do not let a "poor me" word come out of your mouth or effect your posture. Keep thinking good thoughts. People DO care about you.

2006-11-02 12:54:11 · answer #3 · answered by Dust in the Wind 7 · 0 0

Hi Me,
It sounds like you are ready to do something about the problem. Can I suggest a program that may help - The Peace Plus Program. Go to www.peaceplusprogram.com
Vince

2006-11-02 14:25:21 · answer #4 · answered by Vincent J 1 · 0 0

We all have that problem, I myself had a rough life and tend to feel sorry for myself. I will just quote my good friend Ivy M. "Self Pity is for those with too much time on their hands."

2006-11-02 12:50:14 · answer #5 · answered by lady_of_the_stars97412 2 · 0 0

its going to sound stupid, but make a list of all the good things in your life, or things you like about yourself. and just keep reading them every morning. you'll start to actually feel them and believe them and then you'll be more apt to talk about the good things in your life or things you enjoy.

good luck hun. it really just sounds like you have low self esteem. i understand. i do too.

2006-11-02 12:50:27 · answer #6 · answered by mickey g 6 · 0 0

Because you like feeling sorry for yourself
(as lots of us do). It's a bad habit - change it.

2006-11-02 12:47:59 · answer #7 · answered by Ego Fatigo 5 · 0 0

Get some conseling
Are you happy with your career?
I'll be your ear afterwards.
Good luck!

2006-11-02 12:50:06 · answer #8 · answered by MISSY 3 · 0 0

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