Why do the majority of men not like to talk about their feelings and emotions? For example, when I try to talk to my b/f about our relationship, he gets extremely annoyed and doesn't want to talk about it. This makes me feel neglected as his significant other and that my feelings don't matter to him, leading me to want even more reassurance from him which annoys him even more. It's a never ending cycle. I don't get it and am hoping someone can shed some light on this issue. Thanks.
2006-11-02 04:26:14 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Most guys when they find out that their girlfriends want to talk about their relationship or feelings or whatever, they think that there's a problem or something. Guys are like that, they'd never examine or look into anything at all unless something is wrong with it. Not a lot of guys talk about their relationship with their girlfriend just because they should. It's usually only if there's a serious problem or something, otherwise they'll just think then what is there to talk about ? what is there to say about it ?
2006-11-02 04:36:57 · answer #1 · answered by Triathlete88 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are asking two different questions.... for a guy to talk about his feelings, or talking about the relationship, are totally different subjects. Related, but separate. One is squishy emotional stuff, the other is defineable with information.
What kind of reassurance do you want and why do you want it? You have to be secure and stable as your own person and stop defining yourself in the context of the relationship. If you are wondering "where the relationship is going" well, the more you push that issue, the more you push him away.
WHY do you feel neglected... is it just because he doens't like to talk as much as you? (in which case, you need to lower your expectations)... or are there other things lacking in the relationship? (in which case, you need to address a factual issue specifically, not muddle it up with 'feelings')
Good luck
2006-11-02 04:35:12 · answer #2 · answered by zmj 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The problem is that men run away from any and all relationship conflict--even if there is no direct threat to the relationship. Men like to think that everything is okay at all times. If you do and/or say something to make them think otherwise, MOST men become quite defensive and react in the way that you described in your previous statement--they shut down. Whereas I do feel that it is important to speak to your male counterpart about your relationship, given the things that we know about men and their natures, I would try not to put too much on him at one time. If there is something going on in your relationship, do talk to him. Let him know how you feel and give him TIME to respond. Most will be receptive to this kind of tactic and will let you know, most of the time very briefly and to the point, how he feels. If, however, he continually blows you off, then maybe you guys have more problems than you originally thought.
2006-11-02 04:41:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
because men and women are basically different. Women are much more intune to their and other's feelings. It's a fact.....therefore they feel uncomfortable and cornered if they are expected to talk about their feelings. Use your skills to your advantage. Don't tell him you need to talk about your relationship. It will only scare him. Just start talking...and don't ask him questions like "Where is this relationship going?" Instead try....I was thinking about looking for a job in Chicago (or wherever), what would you think if we moved to Chicago? Depending on his answer you can see what he thinks about the future of your relationship.
2006-11-02 04:36:23 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to remember that men at a young age are trained to not cry, not show emotion or anything like that. You need to be okay with that and maybe need to pick a better time to talk about it.
2006-11-02 04:28:13 · answer #5 · answered by nice_guyminnesota 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Young lady, there are a great deal of men out there who simply are not able to express the way they feel. There is no special reason for it. It is just the way some men are. Do not take it personally.
2006-11-02 04:32:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
We only get that opportunity on VERY rare occassions... Don't ask for it all the time or you wil run them out the door. When you do get to talk with him & he is open to 100 questions, go for it! Then catalog that whole conversation, reflect back on it when ever need be. This will have to last you a long long time until the next one... Anytime you question him constantly, to him it's considered nagging... they don't like that!
2006-11-02 04:31:27 · answer #7 · answered by T. 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Alot of men where raised not to show negative emotion, we where taught not to show weekness, so it is hard to show some emotions it might show weekness
2006-11-02 04:32:37 · answer #8 · answered by Todd V 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The same reason this girl doesn't: We don't want to show any vulnerability. We want to be as strong and independent as we come off.
2006-11-02 11:21:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think men of this century do talk about their emotions and feelings-maybe u r naggng him too much-just let him open on his own accord.and when he does,listen very carefully
2006-11-02 04:31:01 · answer #10 · answered by IKNOWNO 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋